Escort challenge

Well guys, it’s been an ongoing battle. Today I fucked up. I went to a massage parlor, my first time going to get a happy ending. It’s been bothering me for awhile to experience this. I been stressed out, not happy, depressed a bit. Today I drank a few drinks with people from work earlier and later on the thought arises again and I was like thinking about it, sitting in my truck thinking should I do this? Then I was like let’s fucking go so I did. And I met a cute looking Asian woman. The massage ehhh you know was alright. I been a bit selfish because lately all I been wanting is a thinner looking woman with a tight body. And sure I guess I got that. Course it cost some money but that is the least of my concern.
We didn’t have sex but it just after I came I just wasn’t feeling good. It wasn’t right, she went to get a hot towel and I just got dressed and she game back saying I need to clean up I just said no thanks and said I’m alright and wiped my stomach and just fucking left.


I learned one thing. Maybe it isn’t much to take but I just been so selfish, I wanted a tight body thinner woman. She was but I realized what looks hot, doesn’t mean it’s any good.
A hot looking woman isn’t the answer.
Looks help, but don’t solve the problem.

sorry guys, it’s been 7 months or so, last time i saw an escort and this wasn’t one but it pretty much turned into a sex worker as the massage went on.


Guys I’m sorry, and more so God I’m sorry.

 

Good on you for realising how awful it really is. Having stayed clean for 7 months, the addiction would have been much weaker than it used to be.

This is also a good time to take stock, and to notice how persistent that beast in your head is. At first, it screams and throws tantrums and begs and persuades… But you ignored it for 7 months.

Seven months, the beast waited… and found the chink in your amour. The beast raised its head, smiled warmly at you from behind a disguise, and carefully, patiently, persuaded you to feed it again.

Oof!

The next few days might be the hardest for you, as the beast has been fed! It is stronger.

But it's not as strong as it used to be, when you first told it go get fucked.

You can do it again, but this time forever.

Good luck!

 

Thanks for responding. your right, forever. I’m also a little ashamed. But yep forever it is! And it has been bothering me more this morning. I got to cut out everything.
Nothing that can trigger it. I hit an iceberg. But you know I’m fine, I’m alive, I have this thread I’m not alone, I know where I stand with this stuff, and that is that I don’t belong to visiting these places or these people. I’m never happy. I never was. Time to transform this negative energy into something positive.

 

Hello I’ve been struggling with escorts lately this is day one when I was younger I wanted to be pimp I don’t care if it was 2 dollars I wasn’t paying for sex. As I got older I became more and more curious tried it once twice now it’s to the point I don’t get any satisfaction out of it. I just want to be a strong alpha male who woman throw themselves at. I like getting to know the person first and having a shared goal of pleasing each other I’m looking for that special someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Everytime i come after a escorts I feel so low so weak( i go to gym and work out all the time and I look good I know I can find a decent woman no time, but god a strong man is not supposed to need a woman) I can’t understand how I sucomb to the impulse it’s like my dick takes over my mind like I’m a puppet it’s crazy I need help guys any resources or insights would be much appreciated

 

That is the nature of addiction.

Your brain physically changes to adapt to the addiction, and then it can't cope without it.

That is why addictions become worse and worse. You used to get a kick out of it, but now, as you say, "it’s to the point I don’t get any satisfaction out of it."

It will get worse if you don't stop it!

As long as your goal is women, you will be a beta male at other people's mercy.

Change your mindset.

Figure out what your passions are, and work towards them. Your passion can't be a woman. Your passion has to be something else. It doesn't matter whether it's stamp collecting, football, sales, computer programming, playing guitar, whatever. The important thing is to go for your passion.

Working out is also important, so carry on doing that, but it must be for you, not for a woman.

A woman will come later, as a side effect.

1. Get therapy. An addiction always happens for a reason, and then the addiction makes that problem worse. Therapy will help you to find out the reasons behind your addiction, and solve them.
2. Figure out your passions, and then make a plan for how to do them. It might be as a hobby, or a career, or part-time, whatever works best for you.
3. When you stop feeding your addiction, that monster in your head gets scared, and does everything it can to persuade you to feed it. That's why you succumb to the impulse. When you feel that impulse, remember: It's not you; it's the monster inside. If you feed it, it will grow stronger. Don't feed it. It will grow weaker, and eventually die. It takes a long time to die (at least three months, but it could be a year or two), so don't let it fool you! In the meantime, remember about flatline, and welcome it as part of your healing.

Good luck!

 

Thanks I appreciate your support!

 

thanks too! Good help!

 

Well gave in again smh she overcharged me too and didn’t give what I want I guess that’s what I get.

 

Take it as a learning lesson. I’m sure their are ways to screen whoever your interested In Seeing to not have this but
I’m not really going that way since I’m an addict and this isn’t a hobbie but a problem for me.

Now the thing with escorts, it’s business and most probably aren’t doing it because they like it. Sure they may be some who do but most aren’t doing it for fun. They want money. And some probably had several other guys come in so your just another customer. They just want the money. It’s a risk, you pay, and it still doesn’t mean your gonna get what you want.
One thing with money, i wouldn’t focus on on it that much. Instead just focus on how to make more of it.

 

Well how is everyone else doing out here?
Possibly not the right thread but I’ve followed this one for awhile so.
So there’s this girl I like, she has a great personality. Very nice, sweet, great person. She isn’t bad looking. She is into me. I like her, just don’t quite feel certain about her though. I think part of me is selfish because she is attractive but not as much as I’d like. Is it normal to not want a girl if she physically isn’t quite what your into? Anyone here, does looks matter to you and if not or if she is a little not so much attractive is their something that you had to make it work or what was it or what did you do?

 

Definitely not the right thread. I recommend that you post a new thread for this.

I couldn't possibly tell you whether it's normal or not, but that's irrelevant. It's a strictly personal choice. Do what's right for you, not what's right for other people (as long as you remain ethical).

For me, personally, the face is what matters the most (physically speaking), and it's strictly personal — I know that not everyone would agree with my choices. Also the voice and the character — they have to be compatible with me. While I obviously prefer a sexy body, that isn't as important to me.

But then, what's a sexy body? For some people, it's skinny. For some, it's a big butt. Some people love big and fat. My preferences are my own, and yours are yours.

If you ask this question in a new thread, you'll get a thousand different answers.

 

That's an inspiring read. Well done, and keep it up!

 

Hope everyone is doing well.
Today is another kinda bad day for me. Anyhow trying to keep strong, it’s tough, it’s also embarrassing. Anyways I’m sure I’ll feel better today later on. I have been trying to meet some real girls or you know girls at the bars but also just
also been tempted to see an Escort.
Hope y’all are doing good where ever you are.

 

Well I want to say I relapsed again. I was stressed out today, just not feeling good. My experience wasn’t really bad but not as good as I’d like it to be. Best for me to cut this shit out. Part of me is thinking let’s make more effort in finding me someone to be with, like a girlfriend. Money is lost but it can also be earned back.

 

Sorry to hear that.

How can you use this experience to figure out how to avoid it next time you feel stressed?

People use addictions to hide from their emotions. But that makes things worse in the long run, because we don't learn to process our emotions, which is a vital part of life.

Thank you for sharing.

 

I can see that it isn’t satisfying myself to what I was looking and this one person isn’t going to get me what I want.
But then again what about with others? Best just not even go their cause it’s not the same as with someone who appreciates you and wants you for you

 

Evening all

Haven't been on in a few months.

I haven’t Paid for E but have paid for P for the first time in over a year. Bizarre really as my life is turning around a bit. I’m in a new relationship and things are going relatively well.

As with any new relationship there are ups and downs but on the whole I’m happy with how it’s going.

Unfortunately today I relapsed. I had been taking glimpses and falling into the routine/ritual for a while and found a clip that I wanted to see. Now there have been a few over the past year that I would have wanted to see but didn’t take the bait. This time though, and I don’t know why, but I let go, lost my discipline and cracked.

The ritual of signing up using a burner email, paying and watching and M’ing all in the space of about 30 mins was a throwback to genuinely dark times.

Maybe I needed to do it to remind myself of how low I feel afterwards? I don’t know but that’s how I feel and tbh, the glimpses every 2 to 3 days are a build up to a moment like this.

I’ve installed blockers on my phone so hopefully going forward I’ll be more disciplined and not as likely to go through the rigmarole of finding the ways to access P.