Accountability for All

Day 2: with my mother's help this challenge will be a lot easier. I feel like I'm very close to winning.

I'll hit my goal of 7 days without losing my current progress.

 

Relapsed again back to day 1

 

Day 12
I was on the edge today.

 

Day 4

 

hey @corylife nice to see you still in here, running this thread!

It has been a long time since my last post. I thought that I had recovered, and I thought that I was too busy to prioritize my recovery, but I'm realizing that I was wrong, I'm still struggling with addiction. I've had a lot of 7-ish day steaks follow by relapse (generally PMO a few days in a row), nothing longer than 10 days.

I'm 35 years old and I now have a new beautiful baby daughter, and I need to be better for her.

Thank you for your support last year.

Day 2

 

Regards to @yrjyrj as well!

 

Day 3: done

 

Day 33

 

Day 2 check in

 

Day 13

 

Ayyy man!! Great to see you here after SO long!

 

Day 5

I feel like I'm dying, I will stay strong and survive for another day. I will wake up tomorrow and make the decision once again.

And so on, and so on.

There is nothing worth having that comes cheap, pain is good, pain is money, pain is what makes the experience valuable. I chose to be strong not because I have the strength but because I possess the willingness to endure pain, pain of the body, pain of the heart, pain of the mind, and the suffering of the soul.

I think of you fellow fapstronauts as I compose these gaudy thoughts and send my support.

Stay strong, carry on.

 

Day 2
I am cleaning my desk and room

 

Day 36

 

Hello All,

This is the first time posting on an online forum regarding nofap/no pmo. I have been attempting to quit porn since the start of the year, my longest streak was 29 days in January which was my 2nd or 3rd attempt.

I got to the point with it more recently where I would M without ejaculating for a long time, often to insta posts (not outright porn). I was basically torturing/cheating myself in a way, still feeding that dopamine rush, and in a way it was worse because I would spend much longer doing it than watching regular P. Also I would often O anyway when doing this, despite trying to avoid it. Or I would be so close to O that i'd end up just going and looking at regular P anyway

It would leave me feeling an underlying sense of guilt and this has affected my personal relationships. Due to relapsing after my streaks, but then being more aware of what my triggers are and how I am damaging myself with PMO, it has had a real negative effect on my self confidence and increased my social anxiety quite a lot. It is as though the knowledge of what PMO does to us, that I've gained from looking on this site and all the online research I've done, means that I feel even more ashamed when I do relapse. That is not to say If I hadn't known about nofap I would be any better off, but just saying that's where I'm at now- wondering if many other relapsers have felt similar in that regard?

I know people say don't beat yourself up after a relapse, and I try not to but for me this works on sub conscious level. Its that I feel more estranged from myself, less centred and less connected to who I really am or want to be and that affects my confidence, feelings of shame and guilt that of course has a knock on effect on my day to day interactions.

I am posting on this group because I want to explore the power of community in helping me kick this habit and form newer healthier ones with all your help.

I have gone further on a practical level this time and installed more in depth internet/phone blocking. And I have more clearly identified danger zone times when I am most likely to relapse.

Such as this morning, when I am at home, girlfriend is at work and I am free all day.
-So instead im about to jump into a cold shower, get down to the gym and go do some yoga.

Currently on day 3 and really want to stay strong this time. Also, already feeling good to have just written this post and sharing.

Peace

 

Relapsed back at day 1

 

Day 14

 

i actually am in a binge relapse mode
hope i get out of it asap

 

• According to Leonard Banks, PM should be counted as relapsing. Even if you do not O.
• According to GoldJacketLuke, it's actually easier to go "Cold turkey" than allowing edging. This is because edging messes with the mind!
  
• When we peek at P, I personally feel it is much more difficult to abstain during that day and following days. A peek session has a strong effect on the mind. Not only the dopamine rush, but we will also feel the need to to keep casually glancing at P. We may even trick ourselves to view something soft core and not call it P. lol aanghel calls it the "Finding Nemo Effect"

 

Day 59!!!