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10 years of bad momentum, and The Reclaim of Independence

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by 22newyou, Aug 31, 2015.

  1. Aug 31, 2015 #1
    22newyou

    22newyou Guest

    Hi everyone,

    I never thought I'd share this information with anybody. But in a time like this one, when days months and years are so precious, when the intensity of revolution is in the air, the time to reclaim and better ourselves, to find and do what we truly love, the time has come now.

    Right now I'm pretty broke, I have been single for a year, haven't been with a girl in almost 2 years, and haven't felt intimately close with anybody in many many months.

    I was introduced to porn when I was 4 years old. Mind you, I come from an extremely loving family, and have enjoyed several successes (symphony musician, invited to the white house, varsity swimmer, science competitions). I had an amazing girlfriend and an amazing sex drive, which crumbled over the course of 3 searing years. Eventually, she dumped me, and now at 22 I'm realizing my number one reason for our messed up relationship was because of my addiction to gay pornography.

    Often we cannot choose the circumstances we end up in. For some reason or another, ever since I was 11 I've been looking at that stuff. But, even with ten years of bad momentum, every day is a new one to rewire my brain and reconnect with life, which I know can be free and independent.

    But ... it's a pretty bad addiction. While I was typing this, I relapsed already. 5 days going strong out the window.
     
    22newyou, Aug 31, 2015
    22newyou, Aug 31, 2015
    #1
  2. Aug 31, 2015 #2
    mikepian

    mikepian Fapstronaut

    465
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    NO!!
    Not out the window.
    First, you made 5 clean days (maybe a longer than usual streak for you).
    Second, you can think back over the past couple of hours and see what kind of triggers led to your relapse. Self-understanding is crucial to growth.
    Third, with such knowledge, you can be (if you really want to be) better prepared to deal with those triggers when they present themselves again.
    Fourth, you're still here on nofap! Disappointed, maybe, but not discouraged to the point of quitting almost before you even begin!

    I see lots of positives here, my man.

    Peace. Mike
     
    mikepian, Aug 31, 2015
    mikepian, Aug 31, 2015
    #2
  3. Sep 3, 2015 #3
    Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

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    Hi 22newyou,
    sitting before the computer and reflecting one's porn-addiction can lead to pmo very quickly. Unfortunately. But it's necessary that we talk about it and support each other. By the way, your story is really interesting, thanks for sharing!

    You can make it! There's so much in it for you!
    Prepare yourself for a long journey.

    “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
     
    Jodokus, Sep 3, 2015
    Jodokus, Sep 3, 2015
    #3
  4. Sep 3, 2015 #4
    dan_w

    dan_w Fapstronaut

    39
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    Please stay, keep trying..
     
    dan_w, Sep 3, 2015
    dan_w, Sep 3, 2015
    #4

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