Question ….

Lol, I would’ve said “ what’s stopping us from doing it right now?” I mean, your blood isn’t any more messy or disgusting than he’s semen, right?

 

Plus intercourse usually helps with cramping during that time of the month.

 

It sounds like he may be a porn addict with IA. If this is the case things will remain the same or get worse. Until both of you can sit down and honestly talk about this, it will not change. I’ve been with my husband 35 years. Until he admitted there was a problem AND sought help, he acted exactly like your husband except I have always had full access to any computer or phone or any device we owned. That’s the reason I figured out what he was doing, he got careless and I found out. Nothing will change. There will always be stress and even more so if you guys decide to have children.

 

I'm a bit surprised to see this perspective of yours.

Spoiler: What the Bible says....

And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. (Leviticus 20:18)

My wife and I don't have sex during her time of the month--never have. I have always felt that doing so is a probable cause for endometriosis among women which would be caused by the uterine contractions pushing some of the endometrial cells out through the Fallopian tubes and into the abdominal cavity. I understand that many researchers have published against the theory--probably because they oppose the Bible and want to continue having sex whenever they like, or perhaps to support a somewhat feminist "empowerment" or "freedom" agenda; but the fact is, researchers simply do not know (or refuse to admit) and cannot say what the cause of endometriosis is. The first possible cause in the WHO's description is this:

Well how, pray tell, does this "retrograde" action take place if not by orgasmic peristalsis?

In any case, God forbad intercourse during the woman's period.

Aside from the danger of endometriosis for the woman, I am coming more and more to believe that the one-week break every month is part of God's natural dopamine reset program to keep men from being so heavily addicted to sex. On top of this, of course, it promotes fertility--and God wanted us to "be fruitful and multiply."

It should be noted that, aside from the monthly period, there was only one other time when God commanded men not to have sex: The three days of soul and heart preparation prior to His speaking the Law at Mount Sinai (see Exodus 19:15). It seems that at any other time it is both permitted and encouraged, in moderation.

 

I've never been a porn addict, but when I was 29 I would have been the one pushing to have sex with my wife--who seemed less interested in it than me.

In my experience, men at that age generally have strong libidos and weak understanding of how to prepare their wives for intimacy (e.g. by not picking a fight during the day, little affectionate acts throughout the day, commanding the wife to do things instead of just loving her for what she does, etc.). So women are more often the ones not in the mood--simply because he didn't realize the impact of his own behavior.

The phone in the bathroom? Do people have waterproof phones these days?

I don't know--I have known people who kept a magazine/book rack next to the toilet and a few others who had a TV on the bathroom counter facing the stool while they "did their business." Those are the kind to be bored easily and have difficulty passing their bowel movements, requiring twenty minutes or more. I've never been one to encounter such trouble--perhaps because as a vegetarian I have a relatively high-fiber diet. It is possible that he needs his phone just to occupy the time, but this sounds to me very suspicious.

We humans tend to make poor judges when suspicious of others, but my first thought, given the behavior you described, would be that these are telltale signs of PMO. I think you need more than mere suspicion, though, before risking the damage of potentially false accusations with him.

 

There are a lot of commands in Jewish law and the Old Testament that Christian’s do not follow. Woman were supposed to be separated during that time of the month, then do a ritual bathing at the end. Should God ever convict me, then I will listen. He has not. Same with seafood, and pork, wearing mixed fibers clothing, pierced ears. I don’t have any tattoos but don’t see a problem there either. I believe God speaks to us, individually and guides us. If you feel convicted then yes you should refrain.

 

They say that sexual intimacy is the barometer of how well a couple is doing in general. Maybe the fact that you're not being intimate often is an expression of the other issues your marriage is facing? It's very difficult for us to pinpoint the reason. I can gather from your words that you are feeling excluded and lonely and I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

 

SMDH @ DoallforthegloryofGod

 

I’m old-what does smdh stand for? Lol

 

Haha, "Shaking My Damned Head"

 

I just find the whole menstrual cycle and bowel movement diatribe ridiculous and unnecessary if not down right creepy.

 

That was my guess! But my kids laugh at some of my “ guesses”

 

Funny thing is, he pulled it out of context- he can’t touch her without becoming unclean himself during that time ( not just sexual relationship). Everything she touches during that time is considered unclean and I doubt he’s throwing out the couch or washing it every day. Sanitation during biblical times was not what we have today. Men considered unclean If they ejaculate but we don’t address that?

 

I’m so sorry.