35 and older accountability, Group 2

Hey all hope everyone is fighting this beautiful and taking the fight up each day. Don’t try fighting tomorrow’s fight today.

 

Hey all, joining today, so I'll check back in 7 days. Relapsed the past few. I haven't been on here in maybe 5 years. 33 years old. Haven't kicked this habit at it's root, but I had only been using P every 10-14 days or so for a while until recently when certain sexual assault and general assault memories from 8 years ago resurfaced with a vengeance. My addictive tendencies got bad as a coping mechanism back at that time, and that same "need" and desperation around it resurfaced when that wound which I thought had healed just got pricked open. Anyways, getting back on board with this. It's been fucking hell and panic/anxiety attacks the past month with this. Day one.

 

hey friends!

I love the cloud and the sunny images haha nice work @persona2903 its cool. Could you share what they mean?

Update on my end.

I am now relocated myself and my life to Mexico.

Been about 8 days here in my new life, and life is alot dif than canada, both good and new challenges,

Lots of women for sure, and going to the gym is like going to a fitness modeling show, lots of people with very beautiful bodies.

Thankfully I feel so good that through the practice of the previous years, I now feel much less agitated and negatively affected by the lustful thoughts,

Now when I see some one attractive physically I instantly remember "GOD IS" and I go into prayer, "Father thank you for this soul who I share this moment with. Thank you that you know exactly what my needs are."

Sometimes if i feel lustful and feeling i am going towards wanting sex i gentely am reminded "I don't want sex, I want love. I don't want tickling my sensations I want the fulfillment and the joy and the bliss of the oneness with God, which can only come when I am in a heart centered soulful relationship with a women who I genuinely feel a spiritual connection to and not just mental and physical"

So then i do this practice and Just last night I met this new girl who I was introduced to last week and we kissed.

this was the first women I kissed or even touched after 2 yrs!

now I am going through some inner reflections wanting to make sure I am being honest with myself and asking God for guidance so that this relationship or whatever it is be guided for the highest good and to avoid selfishness.

I feel good about the unfoldment and I'm choosing to not let my mind control the situation and be open for the Grace of God to guide my way.

Thankfully porn is the last thing on my mind and even in my lonely nights I now know if i just go for a body massage I feel content and free from insanity of lust.

Thank you brothers for being on this journey with me.

 

Can't remember the last time I checked in so I'm doing it now. Also cause I'm stoked that my bar is now raised. Day 7.

Double digits are in my sights. Too close for missiles, switching to guns.

 

Day 33

 

Day 36

 

Day 10, double digits achieved. Can I hit 20?

 

I believe you will do it!

 

Day 23:

Just a quick update here. I made it past day 21 so I'm very happy to mark that milestone off. I have my focus toward my 30 day mark. That mark for me is ... 10/25/2021 at ~5pm . I believe that is the date time I need to make it past my 30 day mark. I'll double check when I have more time. But for now I wanted to establish the date time of my next goal. So it seems I should be able to make it past then, which is next Monday. But I have to make it there first.

Everyone have a great week. I'll try to post more here on NoFap soon, when I'm less busy.

 

Just a update. I have 19 full days in! I haven't been clean this long for years. The negative side effects have mostly went away. I still get a little GI issues when I do have some urges. The urges are less frequent and less intense as the days go by.

A positive thing to note, I have more energy now than I have had in years. I attributed my low energy levels to age but I realize it had to be connected to my PM habit. I did not realize how much energy this was draining from my body, nor how long it would take for my body to recover.

Stay strong everyone!

 

Ugh relapse sorry to say…. 2nd longest streak ever, need to process will share at some point.

 

Congratulations on making it 37 days. That is quite a accomplishment. I have no doubt you will regroup and reach your goals.

 

I did have a setback. My new healthy sexuality date is: October 17, 2021 @ 18:20.

 

Ugh back at it, Day 1…. I could really beat myself up but fuck that, will pick myself up and go again.

 

Today is 21 days clean for me. It has been years since I have been clean this long. It is really the first time in my adult life I have been clean. In the past when I would abstain for days at a time, I still spent a lot of time thinking about doing it. I think of it very rarely now. I'm thankful for God, this site, and this group. Keep fighting everyone!

 

What’s helping you this time?