Sharing with girlfriend

Take a look at it from her perspective. She will be hurt knowing that you preferred porn over her. She'll compare herself to the women who are "model" like and have her self-esteem challenged. I suggest you read through some of the posts of female SO who found out their mates where addicted. I don't want to discourage you, but I want you to know what will go through her mind.

All that being said, are you willing to take the chance you might lose her? I mean if you really, really love her and she's made the decision she can't deal with it... and you want the best for her, right?

Now that I've completely flattened the playing field, only you know what your relationship will bear. IMHO - I would always opt for honestly. The second good reason to tell is it puts you on the hook to change instead of ignoring the issue. Good thing I think.

So to tell or not to tell, what is the answer - it's really up to you... If it were me, I'd do the research first and get an understanding of what might happen.

 

It's much easier to quit when you're being honest with someone. If you can keep your recovery a secret from your GF, that also means one slip and that will go back to keeping your PMO a secret.

I waited about one week into my NoFap recovery before I told my partner that I had looked at porn (again) after being asked not to.

 

Honesty is key. She needs to decide if she wants to continue, how would you feel if she kept a secret like that from you? I'm order to better yourself and your relationship TRUTH and HONESTY are both key!!!! You cannot decide what's "best" for her, she is your girlfriend. If my boyfriend kept something like this a secret how could I ever forgive him. Stay strong!!

 

Honesty. One of my major complaints with my husband is he never ONCE came to me and told me he was having trouble with this or feeling tempted. He often lied and said he never MO which I knew was a lie, because, come on, really? But I had no idea about the P or the addiction. Even when he messed up the past few months, it wasn't until I snooped and found out that he would admit it, reset his counter, post on here about it.
This is not just magically going to disappear from your life, and eventually she is going to figure it out, so you need to be honest as soon as possible.

 

I think that if you are honestly planning to tell her girlfriend about it, it would be better to tell her now. Or never if you think it could hurt your relationship. Because if you tell her after you get clean, she will feel cheated..

 

I believe the only reason why my wife forgave me is because I told her about my problem. And I did so when I was already in recovery (including therapy). I knew that without telling her I would not be accountable enough to keep up the fight. And even then, what my wife told me was that she was hurt by what I had done, but even more hurt by having kept it a secret. I agree that honesty is key. Now, honesty does not mean that you have to disclose everything in excruciating detail. That would not be helpful either. You can say that you are struggling with a certain issue and that you are taking steps to correct this. I believe that if you are open and committed to your recovery, she will understand. If she doesn't, it will be a shame but you need to recover for yourself first, and keeping things in secret is usually a recipe for future relapses. The addict subpersonality will pay tricks on you... "one more time, just one more time, no one needs to know..."

 

Different perspective here, I have same problem with you and I choose to not tell my gf. It is as Marcko said, it could ruin the relationship. I choose to solve this problem alone, and come clean to her.

 

Tell her.
But judging from the timeline of this thread, the OP hasn't checked back, or maybe just hasn't replied.

 

I have been in my current relationship for two years and viewed porn maybe once a week at most. I could quit for periods but then always felt the urge to view porn after a couple of weeks.

What's changed for me is that we are expecting our first baby (any day now!) and I wanted to be a father my child could really look up to and present a truly loving relationship. My addiction got worse during the later stages of the pregnancy as sex is not the easiest thing when you have a massive bump, and pregnancy effects women's libido. But finding this website has felt like a massive help.

Personally I think that telling my partner what I'm working through right now would be a bad idea! Pregnancy and what she is going through is tough enough without knocking her self esteem and worrying her about something else. I think it would be good for me to tell her eventually what I'm working through and I think honesty is a good policy, but right now I'm going to wait until things settle down a bit and I feel like this problem is further behind me.

Having an accountability partner on here to be open with and keep me on target has felt great.

To be honest at the end of the day this is a problem that you have the power to deal with and if you feel most comfortable doing it alone, I say go for it.