If she doesn't give any signals does it always mean she is not interested ?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by nfpexperiment, Oct 3, 2021.

  1. Strange how you came to that conclusion. If anything, he is saying you have to get out there and DO SOMETHING.

    The Coach Corey Wayne approach (which is your approach, I assume) is basically to do nothing. Just work on yourself and women will flock to your door without you lifting a finger. lol
     
    Coak Hakola and Spirituss like this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    951
    1,181
    123
    You got rigth the part that you need to work on yourselve to be in your best version, not only to get more woman but to live and amazing life.

    You got very wrong the part of doing nothing and woman will fall at your feet. Once you become a lot more valuable for woman after years of hard work, more woman are going to be interested in knowing you, more woman are going to be naturally attracted to you just because you are in better shape, dress better, are more confident, you have more power, you are doing a lot of fun stuff, you are sourrunded with fun people, you are sourronded with other woman, you have more money, etc.
    This woman are going to put themselves in your orbit (only in rare cases they are going to talk to you), it's your job to lead the interaction with them. Go and talk to them, see if they are fun to be around and ask them out on dates and progress the interaction until you end up in bed together.

    Next time, instead of cherry picking material.. read the material, understand it and then procces to discuss about it.
     
    Future Bloomer likes this.
  3. Your speech is not completely wrong. But you are sorely lacking in nuance in what you say.

    Everything you say, being more confident etc. can also and especially be achieved by going to talk to women. By approaching them. Instead of not talking to them and waiting for them to come to you.

    You have the speech of a guy who knows what he wants. I'm surprised you still hold this view of waiting for women to come to you. A man who knows what he wants doesn't hesitate to talk to women he finds attractive. And you don't have to have thousands in your bank account or have an above average style. If you feel better with all this, good for you, but I personally feel good without it, and it works just as well. The women you will find most attractive are the ones you actually choose, not the ones who come to you, whether you accept it or not. If you have so much value, why don't you choose and wait for things to come to you, I find that to be a victim mentality. not a guy who knows what he wants and does everything to get it. I think your ego gets the better of you sometimes, doesn't it?

    Your opinion that because I approach women I'm a weak and needy man doesn't make sense. needy guys are the ones who don't dare to approach women for fear of being rejected and get into a serious relationship with the first woman who shows interest in them. For lack of choice.

    I put my finger on some contradictions in your speech, but there are others. What bothers me is that you lack self-criticism.
    I'm ok to question my ideas and discuss this with someone who has a different vision. Provided that the latter is ok to accept to be wrong on some points. This is not the case for you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2021
    Billybrasco likes this.
  4. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    951
    1,181
    123
    Confidence comes from within. Comes from been proud of who you are and don't care about what other people say.

    A man that know what he wants but knows how attraction works and uses his time more efficiently and only date woman that he is attracted to but also they are attrected to him.
    No matter how much you like a woman, if she is not into you, no matter how much you want her.. she is just not into you. Guy that have options can let a woman like this go because they know they are going to find a woman liker her or better eventually. Guys that don't have options will pursue her and do what ever to convince her to like him.. that almost never work and is a waist of time.
    You can pursue your goals and ambitions.. a business, sport excelence, money, status.. whatever... and it's going to be time well spend, but chasing woman is not, you like it or not.

    Yes, but if she is not into you then is going to be a waste of time. There's nothing better than dating a woman you are attracted to and she is also into you from the start and chasing you. When you are the one chasing a trying to convice her to like you is not fun at all. If you like that.. keep doing it, you are going to loose the chance of really enjoy a woman that is crazy about you.

    Is not waiting, is spending my time with my goals, passion, friends, family instead of chasing woman that are not into me what is a waste of time. But when a woman shows you she is really into you and you also like her then is going to be a really well time spend.
    Yes, I do that in all aspect of my life. But I know how attraction works, and I know that chasing woman doesn't work, is a waist of time and you have a lot more fun when the woman is chasing you.

    Man that don't approach woman are affraid of rejection or they don't have confidence. Needy guys are the ones that need a woman to fix their crappy life, someone to tell them they are valuable when they don't value themselves.
    Approaching woman is not needy or weak. It takes courage, confidence or don't giving a f*ck. I only say it's a waste of time. Most of them times this woman are not going to be into you. Is easier to just approach the woman that are really into you and you also find them attractive.

    I'm in your same boat. You have your ideas.. i have mine. In some we agree, in most we don't. That's it.
     
    Future Bloomer likes this.
  5. From my experience, you should approach them regardless. There are girls who will give you tons of signs and not be interested in you at all, and girls who will give no signs whatsoever and have the biggest crush on you. Some women just have a flirty personality and others try their best to show no signs at all.
     
  6. nfpexperiment

    nfpexperiment Fapstronaut

    834
    1,081
    123
    Yes, I wondered, it could be sometimes that women also think like this, he is propably not interested in me, so why should I give sign, yes we guys do the same , we self reject ourselves without even trying, she is not interested in me ,I will not try.
     
    Coak Hakola likes this.
  7. greenboy_01

    greenboy_01 Fapstronaut

    So what could be this signs you're all talking about?
     
  8. Just had a great date yesterday. She gave all the signals and when it was time to go I tried to kiss her and got denied harder than ever LOL!

    So there you go. I'm all for reading the "tea leaves" but if you want a sure thing, buy bonds and get out of the dating game.
     
    Coak Hakola likes this.
  9. StoicContemplation

    StoicContemplation Fapstronaut

    572
    953
    93
    I see two main trains of thoughts in this thread.

    One of them can be summarized with something like "don't chase butterflies - mend your garden and butterflies will come". This is what @p1n1983 is saying.

    The other train of thought puts the focus on "chasing butterflies", i.e. going out and meeting girls (cold approaching), what @Spirituss is advocating for.

    I don't see these two mindsets as mutually exclusive - in fact, they both meet their true potential when applied in conjunction. I think that both mindsets in isolation and when taken to the extreme have flaws (i.e. being high value and thinking that girls will knock at your door vs. chasing skirt whilst neglecting more important aspects of your life).

    It is possible to have your shit together and cold approach women on the side. You actually can display your value through a cold approach (confidence, charm, conversational skills, experience, etc.), cold approaching is more effective if you are high value. I would say it's even conducive to a lifestyle where you take care of yourself (a cornerstone habit - it compels you to lift weights etc.)

    I do think that if you want to get better with women, it's way more practical and effective to start approaching instead of waiting on a random female ROI on your self-improvement journey just like you would get a dividend on a stock. If you don't find yourself in the situation where you have a great farm, then you have to hunt.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2021
    Spirituss and Coak Hakola like this.
  10. well said man
     
  11. Cold approach doesn't work at first because you want to get results. You believe that getting results with women will increase your value.
    So you approach women, that's already really brave, but you go in with the mindset of asking for her approval and validation.

    The hard truth is that a woman has no reason to spend time with you if you have nothing to offer her. It's pretty logical.
    I don't really like this concept of high and low value. On the other hand, there is one thing I have observed and still observe: you meet women who are a mirror of how you see yourself.

    The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to meet women. Because you will naturally communicate to them that you take care of yourself, and that you inherently value yourself.
    I'm not ashamed to say that the reason cold approach works for me is because I've spent days and days without distraction, learning to be okay my own company. It's because I eat healthy every day and workout 4 times a week. It's because I've been through hell. Anxiety, depression, rejection. It made me stronger.
    I take care of myself. so when I go to talk to a woman, the value I give myself is very high.

    As for @p1n1983 opinion, I think his speech is severely lacking in nuance. Although not everything is to throw away.
    the value is not your job, money, body. All that is external.
    True value comes from within.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2021
  12. Agree
     
    Coak Hakola likes this.
  13. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Yes!
     

Share This Page