Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

TO BE CLEAR, MASTURBATION IS A TYPICAL DISASTROUS DISTRACTION.SUPPOSE YOU ARE DOING A TAsK WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND YOU MASTURBATE AT THE MIDDLE OF IT, YOU WILL HAVE A POINT OF DISCONTINUITY IN YOUR WORK AND AFTER THE JOB YOU WILL HAVE A MOOD SWING.THAT DISSASTROUS MOOD SWING WIL MAKE YOU SOCIAL AND YOUR TASK WILL TEND TO BAY.IF YOU HAVE A BIG GOAL IN YOUR LIFE THEN QUIT IT NOW.OTHERWISE YOU WILL LIVE AN ORDINARY UN FRUITFUL LIFE AND WILL REGRET LYING IN BED AT THE TIME OF YOUR DEATH.

 

I don't consider doing it once to be a relapse either

 

Hola
La M es para mi un muro tan inmenso que se me hace imposible superar, trataré de hacerlo y me alegra poder decirlo aquí, llevo muchos años y siempre he soñado con dejar de hacerlo, por favor Ayúdenme nose que mas hacer, he llegado a pensar en suicidarme no quiero seguir mas así.

 

Hi comrade,
I don't agree with you 100%. For instance I believe masturbating once to be a relapse. In all honesty, how many of us can stop after masturbating once? According to Patrick Carnes a sex addiction is 14 times harder to break than one to heroin.
Bearing this in mind one lapse will only reignite the addiction. Ergo a lapse/relapse must be avoided at all costs! In my experience at least total abstinence is much easier than resetting every once and a while.

 

THATS WHY YOU COULD NOT BREAK SEX ADDICTION.YOU KNOW FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART THAT ITS TOUGH,
THEN HOW WILL YOU DO IT MAN?PATRICK AND YOU ARE TWO DIFF MAN.YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKE.
YOU PEOPLE FIND IT DIFFICULT BECAUSE YOU THINK ABOUT SEX.STOP THAT KIND OF THOUGHTS NOT FOR A DAY,BUT FOR TWO WEEKS.I AM SURE IT WIILL BE 156 TIMES EASIER.

 

HOLA @Josue1-9 what language is IT MAN?SPANISSH/

 

Awesome encouragement.

 

I didn't know, thanks

 

Got it. That being said I am a hardcore chronic relapser FML

 

I knew about this differentiation of reset and relapse. But this is news for me: even for someone with an addiction to masturbation itself without porn masturbating once is not a relapse because it is considered (with some limitations) as healthy behavior.
Interesting! So for me as a porn addict who wants to avoid MO as well, for the "reboot" but also as a lifestyle choice it means: sure you can try to avoid it completely, but when it happens that you can't control yourself under "normal" circumstances like at night when you're alone in your bed, then this ISN'T a relapse AND it is considered healthy behavior (from a medical standpoint).
This is helpful!

However, I think there's still a problem here, because we emphasize the "reset" so much. When we "must" reset our counter during recovery and we are accountable about it here and all, it just feels like a relapse.
Maybe it would be better to differentiate better between the reset which is indicated by the counter in the Signature and the relapse. For example in a nofap challenge we could explain that we failed our goals and had to reset but that it wasn't a relapse, so that we're still holding our streak haven't hurt our recovery, or something along those lines.
I believe it is a question of awareness. Right now I'm not seeing that the community would get this differentiation between reset and relapse. Some are super rigid, for them every incident of edging or masturbation counts as a relapse while others focus on the porn issue and don't make an issue of masturbation without it.

 

I find this very hard to comprehend. If you can't control yourself and perform an act that you've decided not to do and that is a part of addictive behaviour, surely you're giving in to addiction?

 

Hi Dizzy, that is a very good argument you have there and to be honest, IF we're talking about "an addiction to masturbation itself without porn" then I can't defend my position anymore. You have to ask Alexander for that, may he explain himself
However, my point is, that for someone who has a porn addiction like myself the OP answers how to handle "the masturbation question". I think it's a good answer, because it isn't black or white. If you look at his argumentation, many acts of masturbations would still count as a relapse. For example:

Moreover, I think you have to take into consideration that healthy people also don't have perfect control over everything. To be healthy and free from addiction it isn't necessary to have everything under control and do absolutely nothing that is unhealthy. And for an addict it can be (in my opinion) clearly unhealthy to set such a high ideal for him- or herself. But I don't want to discourage here! I also want to set a high standard for myself and live up to ideals. I'm just saying: be careful and watch your steps. Or something like that

So for me it's clear, that from the perspective of medical treatment, an addict shouldn't be encouraged to obsess with masturbation / not masturbating or not loosing semen. Or, as Alexander put it, this is just not part of the addiction model.
Is a specific act of masturbation considered to be healthy and normal, or not? You need to look at the context
- that's my take-away from OP. Masturbation, edging, fantasy and so on, these are behaviors not concepts that we can give a general value to. Thus it is better to see our behavior in the given context to make a change, then to order oneself something like a masturbation free life or no sexual fantasies whatsoever.

 

I adapt this for recovery. And we have to make it psychologically. What I mean is, that we focus on the relapses (or rather how to avoid them) and not so much on the resets.

But something is missing! We have only one day counter for the Signature, but there are these two concepts: relapse and reset. I think that's what's actually confusing here. And what's still missing is a practical solution: when I reset but it wasn't a relapse what does it actually mean for my recovery?
No wonder, people don't feel comfortable with using two terms instead of one.

Of course, it's not uncommon that someone, for example, counts the days of "meeting my goals" and additionally tracks the days since his/her last relapse. But still ...
To me personal it makes sense to adapt these two concepts, but although the founder of this plattform has suggested it, it doesn't quite seem to fit with the way the counter is developed and with how we "traditionally" look at recovery here. Anyone following me?

 

That does sound very reasonable, thank you for explaining.

 

Fmo once after a long time its a slip!!!
Relapse is whan you return full speed to your old habbits

 

I have an advice to prevent from re-masturbating by whatching porn, pls reply if there're some missing pieces in my logics: when a urge comes: immagine that the person that you're "thinking about"/"watching" is wearing tough big winter clothes and by touching her/him you feel like you're touching a stone statue.

 

For me, the clincher was learning how much damage porn does — not only to the consumer, but also to the actors. When I learned this, I stopped that very same day, because I'm not prepared to support a corrupt, unethical industry that actively and willingly causes great harm.

 

Uhm no, mastrubation is a relapse, it is called noFAP for a reason.......

 

You need to understand the difference between a relapse and a reset.

A relapse is something that physically affects your brain. A reset is nothing more than the resetting of a counter.

See Rebooting from Porn Addiction and scroll down to Reset vs. Relapse.

 

When you mastrubate you physically affect your brain by releasing dopamine so it is a relapse.