Why is it that i am so awkward

People think negatively to prepare themselves for better future. Like I am thinking a negative thought to adjust to an event that may turn out bad. I am thinking negatively about a math test that may have bad result and in case I fail it, I can have better adjustment to the situation. So we think negatively not to get hurt in the future. Same reason people subject u to mistakes to view a positive future about themselves, in case u fail. Go with the flow means not thinking about the mistakes and try best of the work. Hence u may get hurt.

 

In your particular case fapping wasn't the problem you failed on the test. The all underlying issues that you have with yourself is.
I would sit down and talk to my father about this but then again I don't know your full relationship with your dad.
I would explain how I feel, tell him he is not the problem and reassure him I will handle this as a man!
Humans need reassurance that things will be ok! It is in our deepest nature that we need HOPE!
Hope as a virtue is something that is not existing in the animal kingdom and a human created element.

If you give that to your father he may start viewing you as the person you ought to be in time after you strive to better yourself daily!
Covid times are bad yes and in these trifling times we all get depressed easily but elevate above that.
You are your own anchor in all of this! So strengthen your backbone and be a man that your unborn child would look up to!

 

Try concentrate on study. Forget the past. Don't watch porn anymore. If u fap. Don't put pressure on masturbation. Porn is more dangerous. So get rid of videos. Get enough sleep.Try masturbate without videos. Than go to sleep. Clear ur mind. Don't put pressure in yourself. Get enough time for study if it is more important. Masturbation and orgasm without videos are better than with it. It will take time to heal.

 

Change ur habit. Ur young so it’s more difficult. But do other things like reading books, walking in the park etc. Spend less time on pc/phone....

 

Watch Gary Wilson video on YouTube.. TedxTalks....this will inspire u to motivate...

 

FreeMedEducation ybop YouTube

 

You did the right thing by seeking out people here to discuss it.
Everybody feels weird in their school years, all the way through college.
It's because they are trying to not look stupid but still participate.

I was basically a loner like you, I wasn't shy, so much as just being in my own thing.
I was obsessed with music, and I was already talented.
Everybody else just wanted to get drunk, get laid.

But the thing that will solve all of this stuff you feel is confidence.
If you want confidence, you can earn it.
Do a 90 day hard mode reboot. It will change your perspective on people, which
gives you a foundation for confidence.

While you are on it, be thinking about a career, find a pathway for success.
Avoid the arts or computer-related stuff.
Msg me if I can help with some insight or encouragement.

 

Hi @Kingofanew_world

Thank you for sharing. I believe you are in the process of transition from child to adult. Plan where you are going in the future and take steps to get there. Getting there is not important as you may never arrive. The important thing is to get started in a direction and know we'll change course many times during life. Lets say someone sets course to be a bricklayer. This person starts down that path. He may decide it's not for him and chart a new path. Or, hey may continue that career and travel a winding road throughout that journey. Not one of us stays where we were in high school. Life keeps moving forward. We learn one day at a time. There's no one set path.

A fellow 10-15 years older than me mentioned to me one time he changed friends at numerous different stages in life. Each of us walk different paths in life so it's only natural we won't interact with the same people all throughout.

"In order to be more personable we have to stop taking things so personally."

 

Try playing with this concept: It's been said by some experts that awkwardness and self-consciousness and shyness are just different forms of egoism, along the lines of "I'm so self-centered that I spend 100% of my time worrying about whether or not other people like me, whether I have the approved amount of friends I think I should have, and me, me, me."

Try being of help to others. Volunteer in your neighborhood - I do! When it snows, I put up a notice in NextDoor reading "If you disabled or elderly and cannot shovel your walk or driveway, tell me where you live and I'll come and do it." And I do. I also collect blankets and clothing and deliver them directly to people in the tunnels of my town. It takes suprisingly less time than you might think, if you've got a full-time job, that is.

I'm tellin' ya, it works. Plus people really like people who do stuff like this, too. Word gets around. And you'll probably forget about "awkward."

 

I like this. It's something about myself I had to grow to see. Still growing to see it.