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Day 133 - Nine-Tails Chakra Mode

 

Day 5

 

you are on a binge cycle, am currently in one too, its as if I can't stop myself="BloomWasTaken, post: 3179783, member: 447372"]Relapsed. I have nothing to say about this one, I'm not gonna write a bunch of excuses I'm just so fucking upset right now, I'm trying really hard to just do the "pick myself up, start over, I got it this time" but I'm exhausted from these recent relapses. I'm so angry that I'm just not even fucking doing anything I'm just relapsing without even trying to stop myself even though I keep telling myself to use the list that I made to help me with urges but I just don't. And NNN just started, I was hoping I could use that as some motivational fuel but that's gone now since I relapsed on the first fucking day. Fuck man, I don't know what's up with me, since I beat my record I've just been relapsing again and again and again.[/QUOTE]

 

Day 3

I went out shopping for a bit with my Mum. Missed out on working out and meditating because I was so busy with work today.

I had a couple of reoccurring urges but I was able to mostly just sit with them but occasionally relied on distractions like music to help.

 

Triple digits, great my modern monk friend

 

559 days semen retention

 

Palindrome

 

Day 9

 

Day 82 I just woke up and feel awful I have this terrible sore throat, and I feel so sick, to top it off I had one of the weirdest/worst wet dreams ever. I hate wet dreams at this point there becoming so annoying there never enjoyable and I always wake up in a mess with brain fog, and this time it’s specially worse because of what the dream was. I'm in a bad place rn because of the hazing I have to endure for the pledging process of my fraternity it sucks, and I feel like giving up every day but I know I can’t. I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing with my life. I’m pretty sure this is completely in related to any PMO stuff. I just want to feel healthy

 

Day 134 - Nine-Tails Chakra Mode

 

Day 6

 

Day 4

Slowly getting back my rhythm. I've got an exciting work project coming up this month which will be a fun challenge but also a nice change of pace.

Still getting urges every now and then but I'm dealing with them surprisingly well so far. I'm relying very little on distractions and just simply not letting the urges get to me which feels very empowering.

 

Relapsed. Day 0 again.
Will do better next time

 

560 days semen retention

 

I relapsed last night just before bed. I was very very tired and unfortunately got triggered by something during this time and I started fishing for more triggers without realising because I was so tired. By the time I realised what I was doing I was already past the threshold. I need to go to bed when my body tells me to instead of fighting it even if I think it might be too early to go to bed yet.

 

Day 135 - Nine-Tails Chakra Mode

 

Day 7
End of the weekend is in sight