P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

What about 60 months?

 

Has anyone tried collagen supplements for joint pain
?

 

I'm closing in on two years since I started my journey, 20+ months of which I did complete semen retention. It's clear to me that there is still a lot of healing left to do.

Yesterday morning I woke up late feeling completely groggy, it was almost a reminder of my old drinking days. All day I felt lethargic and I had one of my worst workouts in recent memory. Just no energy, it was a chore to half ass it through my sets. Skipped my morning meditation and when I got home I hit the bed immediately. Contrast to this morning where I woke up sharp at 4am, had an intense workout, and was in the zone in my meditation. The brain is still doing its thing while it is healing.

I lose sight of that sometimes but that is what is truly going on: our brains are trying to reverse years of abuse, actually a lifetime in my case.

I've been masturbating as long as I can remember and I'm in my forties. My physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual development have all been corrupted by my addiction which was brought on by childhood abuse.

I don't log on to this site or peruse the other nofap sites much anymore. Finally I've accepted that this will not be a one year or even two year fix, I've got a lot of healing left to do. When I first started doing semen retention I was desperate to get to the finish line as quickly as possible because I wanted my dick to work so I could start fucking random thots again.

Now I just want to be normal. I credit meditation for giving me proper perspective.

Nothing to do except continue on with recovery without complaint.

 

Yes Collagen protein powder and bone broth, No real affect from it to be honest
I tried it to see if it would help my stiff knees. Tumeric and black pepper is worth a try

 

26 months in the Flatline and counting...this doesn´t end...

 

You all sound very pesimistic to me. I began my journey 20 months ago, had some relapses (maybe 10 of them), had sex with gf few times. I can say that I feel like completly new and advanced person in comparison with the time I fapped every day for decades. We all made pretty big damages on our brains and we just need more time to heal. Keep strong, brothers.

 

20 months flatline?? Do you get morning wood, Any day? And what about when performing with a real person,did it responds and get quality erection??
Really it's very complex addiction and society needs better awareness and information to tackle it and it's post effects.

 

20 months is pretty much the minimum someone go through paws lol I barely watched porn and still had to endure 2 years of this hell

at this point its not even a reach to say that porn PAWS is the worst, I mean, even heavy drinkers are cured from that shit in less than a year

 

It's not PAWS, at least after 1-2 years. It's lack of Ojas.
https://www.easyayurveda.com/2013/0...ease-ojas-during-health-and-disease-ayurveda/

 

@Eternal Struggler You mentioned you had relapses but not to porn. I've just relapsed to sex after 13 months of PAWS. Do you feel as though those relapses set you all the way back?

 

Update: 24.5 months porn free.

A lot of improvements came about very close to the 24 month mark. I would say my motivation, sleep, and social anxiety have improved the most. I spend most of my days in a much more active manner.

Still experience anhedonia almost all the time, though the severity of it is lessening. Still can't really engage with my passions, though the ache to do so is now there.

I have never wanted to get out of PAWs more than I do right now. My expectations of life have gotten much, much higher.

Libido comes in tiny spurts, and it's still not strong or 100% pure. And it's still a rarity. Will say that my brain doesn't feel as dirty most days. Like, porn is no longer constantly lurking in the background of my subconscious.

Sleep has been much better, though I expect it to get worse soon, because it usually does, and that's all I know--improvements disappearing as quickly as they arrive. Hopefully I'm wrong, because I really do enjoy having a somewhat normal sleep schedule.

Don't know how long this is gunna take. The improvements did come fairly quickly, but I still kind of expect the worst at this point. This process will beat the optimist out of you.

Hopefully by month 27 I'll be 80-90% myself. I'd be okay with that. If not, then I'll just keep going.

I'm goin to post one more time once I leave PAWs for good. Then I'm done with this website. Took a long break from it, and it was healthy. Most people on the internet aren't the kinds of people that I'd find myself spending time with in person. I don't even feel that confident that I'm making the right decision posting this little snippet. One thing I've learned over the past couple years is that you need to be super picky when it comes to whom you choose to open up to. I still have moments where I make myself vulnerable and share too much in an effort to get people to like me, but I'm gettin' better at it.

The anonymous nature of these forums is nice in the beginning, because there is a lot of shame and anxiety involved in talking about these issues. But I guess I'm in a different spot now. Instead of enjoying the facelessness of this site, I now see it to be more of a negative thing. People say and do things that they would never say or do in real life. People are often supremely confident in facts and theories that aren't true. People get offended, get passive aggressive, or try and use advice as a way to garner power. I'm probably guilty of it as well, though I take pride in my honesty and lack of desire to use others as a means to make myself feel bigger. Especially on the fuckin' internet.

I have an online journal on a different site that I still use regularly. It (my page) has over 60k views, and I'm proud of that fact. Someone is learning from me, somewhere. It helps me stay focused, because I don't want to let people down. I want to show guys that even the worst cases can be reversed. I might post the link in my final post on this forum, so that people can get a clearer sense of my day to day struggles. It dates back 5 years or something like that, and captures the early days of my reboot. I've been chippin' away at this thing for half of a decade.

Oh, and I began taking a medication called Lamictal. It's meant for both bipolar and those who suffer from seizures. It really helps with the pain and depression that I still experience at certain times of the day. Hopefully I won't have to continue taking it once I leave PAWs, but I'm open to do so if need be. It has definitely played a part when it comes to the improvement of my social anxiety and has made the lows more bearable. I'm not as sharp or creative whilst taking it, but if need be, I may have to sacrifice the quickness of my brain for the stability provided by the medication.

There are still so many question marks lurking within the void of this addiction. Do I need the meds permanently? Who am I without the symptoms? How much fun will life be without PAWs? What will sex, and love, and true joy feel like? What am I meant to do? What am I capable of? Who am I going to end up with? Most of my friends have a lot of those types of questions answered, but not me. I still don't really know who I truly am on the other side of this mess.

In the end, I'm glad I found this forum, because I had no fuckin' idea what was happening to me. I'll be forever indebted to its existence. Seems rather dead at the moment, but maybe it's still helping some newer guys or whatever. Seems like the length of time of recovery is only growing for people, and this shit is only gunna get worse before it get's better.

 

Good post all round, I'm glad you're making progress - I'm glad for you, and grateful for the sign-posting that you're giving for those like me who are following.

I also really really resonate with the issue of advice. I've had, and witnessed on Nofap an incredible amount of bad, poorly thought-through "advice" that it makes me want to pull my hair out. There's nothing wrong wit giving advice if it is of good quality, and coming from a good place - ie a genuine desire to help. But otherwise, it's just B.S., and is often, as you say, an attempt by the giver of advice to big themselves up. Getting advice from people who know less than me, have gone through less, and fundamentally have no idea what they're talking about kind of wears on the soul after a while. I don't want to inhibit people with useful things to share from doing so, but at the same time, if you're 19, you've managed a 90 day streak and think you've got it cracked, good for you - but that doesn't make you an expert.

 

orgasms only made me feel bad for a day or two, IMO they do not set you back or slow down your recovery, but I still preferred to go hard mode since PAWS was already bad enough for me

just dont peek at porn / p-subs and you are fine

 

Has everyone who ever had PAWS and recovered just completely left?

Im currently on the beginning of anew streak and starting to feel not completley fucked again

Been doing this now for nearly 3 years, insane, I thought I would be healed after 90 days

 

It seems like when people recover they are to busy living life to think about this forum.

I am close to 3 years with no P and just a handful of MO (sensation only) for experimental purposes. Still feel like a ghost. Horrible PAWS symptoms every day, with rare, tiny glints of hope.

 

3 years is quite a long time. What are your symptoms?

 

I am around 26 months. I’m still in PAWS but I feel a slight improvement in many aspects but overall my symptoms are still very present. I think my case isn’t representative for most of you as I had multiple addictions ranging from PMO to weed and chemical drugs.

I‘d say sleep is my biggest problem. My addiction dreams just won’t stop and in general my dreams always have that negative touch. There is always happening something bad. It’s rare that I’m dreaming about positive things or completely unrelated things.

The best improvement is again my social anxiety. Interacting with people I know was barely a problem before but now I seem to have good interactions with strangers.

I also felt a serious motivation to get stuff done for university the first time in the whole time I‘m studying. Normally I have to force myself to do this and that.

I think there are still a few months ahead of me but I will manage to get them past by very quickly. I just think there is no substitute for time. Nothing will ultimately bring you true healing then time which allows your body to repair its receptors.

 

@DerJogge I have followed your story and its good to hear that you are recovering well. I was experiencing fairly vivid dreams that had a slight negative tinge to them too. Strange emotional dreams that I could not always remember in detail but would leave me with an uncomfortable knot in my chest upon waking up. Only recently have I stopped having them, and has sleep once again become restful and rejuvenating.

This week I was speaking to another person who recently finished a 3.5 year reboot and the dissipation of negative dreams and the urge to interact with life were two of the things he mentioned when moving towards the end of his recovery. Fingers crossed that this is the same for you and that in the near future things will have improved.

 

Thanks a lot buddy. I am always tearing up a little and get goosebumps when I read things like that. I hope everything turns out to the best for you as well!