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Why I Partake In This Filth

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by im_done, Nov 10, 2021.

  1. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    I received little to very few interactions with women in my teens, and instead of doing normal teenage boy things, I cleaned my house, tried to help out with my siblings (big mistake), argued about dishes, and did school crap. My parents didn't think it was convienient for my sister and I to drive(we lived in a suburb in a state that doesn't have public transportation, neat). A car is probably one of the best things you can have in regards to ownership, and particularly, dating. As any boy, I wanted to get some tail, and I would PMO on the weekend instead of seeing real assets. Flash forward to my college experience. I did the same but in the last two years, my habits have gotten worse. I still do not have a car. But as opposed to my busier schedule, due to the pandemic, staying in my dorm and and jacking off has became too easy. It was also during 2020 that my ideals had shifted as I begun to consume a plethora of Youtube content. Most of it was philosophical in nature, and some of it could be put under the moniker of "male improvement" (i'm not willing to change my mind on it either). I realized how shit my life became due to decisions by others and decisions I made as well. This wasn't the best for my mood but it was important to learn. My erections aren't nearly as strong as opposed to two or three years ago. I'm very much attracted to the women on my campus, which aids the problem. I see girl. I want to talk to the girl. I realize I don't have a car. Everyone I know at least has a rustbucket to get them somewhere. I go home. I sleep fine, but I wake up with a minor erection and edge myself for an hour. I miss classes I hate. Another reason I haven't made real contact is my appearance. I am not ugly, but i'm not a supermodel. I've been told by peers and by the research I've done I have features that women find generally goodlooking. My main issues aside from a car are my teeth and my glasses. I have some measures to help on my journey, but I need some help. I doubt anyone would read this long garbage.
     
    Demodectic likes this.
  2. Hey dude I read your post. It looks like you didn't have an easy childhood and adolescence. Unfortunately you'll have to do with what you have, but the good news is that you're not stuck.

    If there is a mental health clinic at your college where you can talk about your struggle with a therapist that would be your best move and investment. Looks like you have a lot to unpack but with time you'll get things sorted out.

    My 2 cents also is to try not to compare yourself with others, but with who you were yesterday. Everyone's life experiences and circumstances are different so it's pointless to compare yourself with others.
     
    spidermanfan123 and im_done like this.
  3. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    I'm willing to do therapy if: 1) It is a man. 2) If it is a man that understands clear gender dynamics and societal roles, historically and currently.
    The reason? I don't want a shoulder to cry on. I want results. I know where life for me went wrong and I know what I want from life. My issue is getting there.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  4. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up trying. I was a virgin until 23, and without confidence. Now at 31, I have full confidence in dating and have a wonderful GF
     
    88991s, Optimum Fortitude and im_done like this.

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