The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 21 - Hobbit, the village of Bree

 

Day 3.

 

499 days high king
565 days semen retention

 

Day 266 no PMO. I hope everyone is doing ok. I have noticed a significant decrease in posts over the last few days and I hope it’s not because everyone is out there PMOing. For me yesterday was an ok day. Everyone left me at home alone and I got frustrated and yelled out “I don’t like being alone” and actually started to cry a little. I then reminded myself that God loves me and forgives me and started to feel a little better. Please remember that God loves you and forgives you and he wants you to love and forgive yourself. Have a great day everyone.

 

Day 0

Everything hit at once. Had a small fight with my partner. And later I think I ate something bad and spend the night in pain and constantly running to the toiled. So I was stressed out and didn’t sleep normally and today I’ve just collapsed and PMO like 4 times in two hours.
So now I’m still tired, my stomach still hurt and I’m sad.

But that is life.
The only thing now is just to not let myself keep down anymore and to stop the PMO right now.

 

Checking in friends about 8 hours off 2 weeks clean

Went out to a gig last night for first time in years, not too much sleep, and as a few people have said over this weekend, sleep deprivation leads to urges and for many to the fall. Funny that, because hunger has the opposite effect. Anyway regardless they are here. I am sticking to my rule of no peeking and that is what has kept the wolf from the door so far today. Pray for me friends, that I may once again breath the fresh clean air of the shire - only 1 day to go so the Uruk inside is summoning all its powers to stop me...

 

Hi @Meriadoc,

Try @RiseToGreatness post
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-story-and-tips.268831/

Here are some other programs that might help

• NoFap page on the Rebooting process - https://nofap.com/rebooting/
• Purity is Possible, as recommended by @Gallade_Templar https://purityispossible.com
• Freedom Fight - free 30 day reboot program - https://thefreedomfight.org
• Free 12 weekly guide from Scandinavian Bob - https://pmoflatline.com/subscribe-to-bobs-free-email-list-today

 

Day 22. Feeling like I am entering a flatline period. My cravings have dissipated and I am not fantasizing or having wet dreams as much. Interested to see how things progress.

 

Day 26 - Hobbit

I had a pretty decent weekend, although the recurring urge to MO kept inserting itself into my brain. I think all my work stress is what’s causing that. I have a set routine of yoga, journaling, and breathing exercises that I do every single morning to help manage my depression. Yesterday I slept in and didn’t have time to do the routine before church. The days that I don’t do my routine feel extremely foggy, and it’s very difficult to parse my thoughts and emotions. My anxiety and depression symptoms will flare up if I go to many days without the routine. I woke up this morning feeling really anxious about a lot of stuff, but I did the routine and I’m feeling better. I think work is getting to me, I need some time to rest. Time management has become a recurring worry for me. I think today is going to be good, I just feel tired and shitty. Hope y’all have a good day, stay strong.

 

Day 10!
Yesterday I had a dream and it made things a bit harder, but I guess I got over it. Summer is comming here, so there's a feeling of hope in the air. To those who are facing a winter right now: it will pass one day, and there'll be another summer! Stay positive and take your vitamins, D above all!

 

Day 5

 

2 days without P or M done
The end of Day 3 is near

 

Day 2

 

Monday

Early check in. Still Day 8. Not much to report. Still much to do today, but I look forward to it.

 

Day 15 completed, Hobbit for the first time since July!

 

I'm going good on recovery road and I can't go on with this

The addiction to distractions
I started with a random series. Instead of pmo I only watch series. Sometimes I'm triggered and urges comes up but it's easy for me to handle them. I don't go into autopilot anymore. Rather I can see myself, what I'm feeling, what I'm doing. I can observe the urges and it isn't painful to let them go. I seem to have made a leap on the road of recovery.
But I can't go on like this! I'm evading my duties, even simple tasks I stop to do. I fear to fail when I see what lays before me. I'm not talking about porn but life goals and tasks. I don't pmo, I don't edge, I don't fantasize, I don't drink alcohol. My mind is very clear. The addiction to distractions is not numbing the mind so much. But while I'm distracted of course I forget everything important for a while. Then it comes back and I ask myself: why am I doing this and not doing that? Why do I give myself this bullshit excuses? Why do I stop care and just go to distractions?

It would be much worse with porn. But still I need to change that. Recovery is about changing your life, right?
I do everything half-assed and then still forget things and always when big tasks appear before me or confrontations impend I start to distract myself. In the end I create a big mess for myself and others but I pretend that everything would be alright and I lie and somehow life goes on ...

Since my mind is clear and I see this mess and right now it's really messy I see this as an opportunity to change. But for that I need to get myself out of my ways, I need to get myself in alarm mode or in work mode or something like that. I can't turn back to normal before I haven't change get to the root.
This is the next road I need to walk on my Journey. It goes uphill and I don't really want to walk it. I'm ready to go some meters only and all I want to do it pretend. Oh man! What shall I do with myself?

 

Relapsed again. Another perfectly manageable urge but I just didn't even try. I've got my therapy session in the morning tomorrow so I'll save my ramblings for that.

 

484 days

 

Day 274

 

Day 0

I got carried away with my thoughts and got too involved in washing my genitals, I didn’t reach orgasm, but later that day I saw a naked boob while consciuosly looking at girls pictures online. What was I expecting to see? It’s my oen fault. And when I was doing that, I was saing to myself that I will not tell anyone about it and continue my streak like it was nothing. It was a lie just to allow me to do these things. My emotions shift my reality too much.

This is not that habbit that I used to have, but it’s from the same root. How do I fight it? Do I fight it mentaly or should I simply get out of that state without doing any thinking, like with a distraction? I think I should get used to some routine that puts me back to my normal state. What could it be?