Catholic / Orthodox Fapstronauts

Fellow catholic brah checking in. Been trying to rid myself of this beast for over 3 years. Longest I've made it was 28 days no pmo. Thank you OP for making this thread.

 

Welcome @Dumpsterdiver! I hope you find this forum and particular thread helpful. We are here to help and support each other.

Your struggle to grow in maturity and faith will be in my prayers tonight.

Gus

 

I will go to confession in a few days. First time I will not have to confess any sexual sin of any kind at all. We can do this!

 

Yes, indeed, what's left to confess even? He'll think you're a saint!

 

I envy you tremendously !

 

I am also prepared to make my first confession in more than 35 years. On the advice of a friend, I decided that I should make an appointment instead of the usual scheduled version. She said that this would allow for a more involved consultation as well. I feel that I really would benefit from and desperately need this type of thing, soooo I made a call to the Church two days ago to make an appointment with the priest, but alas I had to leave a voice mail. This morning I also sent him an email, but neither message has been answered as of yet.

It's like God is making me suffer a little and yearn for the opportunity to make this Confession. In fairness it is a very busy time at the Parrish as RCIA, Chatechism, and a new school year are just beginning this week, and I know the Priest has got to be swamped. I sure hope I can get a chance to do it yet this week somehow or another, though, as I'm also sorely awaiting my first Holy Communion in a long, long time (hopefully that will take place this Sunday).

Trying to get back with the Church has somehow kind of made my quest to remain clean secondary in nature. It's like, "Heck yes I'm going to remain clean, because as a single Catholic man, that is what I MUST do." There is no way that I will let a relapse ruin the progress I've made, especially considering what I've been through. Once I make my Confession, and then receive Holy Communion, there will be no looking back. I intend to build on the success of being clean AND becoming a church-going Catholic again. I've got the feeling that some awesome experiences are in store if only I do my part.

Peace to you all...

 

Your friend's idea was a good one - it will give you more time by appointment. And, if your voicemail just happened to make contact at a busy time - or the priest is away even - you can always call around to neighboring Catholic Churches in your area, too, or a Catholic religious monastery or public shrine - if any happen to be near you. There's also a website: masstimes.org that gives localities in one's area for masses, confession, adoration, etc. Occasionally, some information is out of date, so best to call to confirm - or make an appointment as you intend. As far as God goes, he is most open and happy to embrace you immediately. So, sometimes you can put the onus on God in this respect - like, "God, if it be your will, I will make my confession as soon as possible" or "...as soon as You (God) so arrange..." etc. Hand that burden to him. It also could be somewhat providential if you are being led, unknowingly to you, to a particular confessor who will be most helpful to you, than had you gotten the first priest immediately available - that kind of thing. In the meantime, make your act of true contrition (formal and informal praying), as one already disposed to God as far as it is in your power to do what you can do now on your end. When going to confession, I always like to think of the parable of the prodigal son, even, and how all the angels in heaven with God rejoice over one lost son now returned. It's an amazing thought, and your own soul is to participate in that same joy. God Bless.

 

Wow, Joe, what an awesome post! I really appreciate your astute advice, and I can see that you obviously know your way around the Catholic religion. I live in Wyoming where the next closest large Parrish is 70 miles away (our own Parrish serves the few smaller communities that are closer). There is another priest at our Parrish, but his English is a littler broken and that is made even more of a hardship since my hearing is challenged as well. I want there to be the best, clearest interchange in this particular Confession experience; the next time won't be nearly as crucial to me. I hadn't thought of he possibility of God directing me to someone who would ultimately be better for mr; so I think I will attempt to contact to this priest if I don't get a call from the other one really soon like today.

I also like your idea of putting the whole issue into God's hands. I know that in my heart, I would do anything on my end to make this confession even to the point of taking a few hours of vacation time at work if necessary. I have conducted a thorough examination of conscience, and in fact I have a written list of my sins to aid me whenever the opportunity does occur. I wonder if I got run over by a bus before getting a chance to go to Confession, if God would consider that my Confession was in effect valid because of my intentions ( not procrastination or laziness). Another possibility I thought of: Is this Gods way of showing me that I am not in control?

I suspect that in a week or two this issue will be far behind me, and I will be facing other challenges. For now though it is very much forefront on my mind, and I am extremely anxious to get this done.

Joe, I have another issue that I'd like to present to you. Some of my closest friends are also fallen Catholics including my sister and her husband. How should I break the news to these people? I don't think our friendships will be jeopardized, but I think it could be awkward telling them and them accepting the fact that I've returned to the Church. Any advice on this would be appreciated.

Peace to you, my friend!

 

If it's the only priest available to you, then I think your instinct may be good to have one that speaks/understands English clearly - at least this time. I think your instinct is good here. Maybe you need to keep calling, especially during business hours - late morning or after lunch throughout afternoon - or go to the church and ring the rectory doorbell, if passing by, to set an appointment - but be ready for the possibility of being taken in right there. On the other hand, I like the idea of taking a day off, too, sort of like a retreat day even, and driving to some other location (an hour drive) - it may be worth considering. I've done as much, when going to a religious shrine especially. And, I understand the need and strong urge to get it done once we have decided to do so. We just cannot wait any longer.

I think there's a Catholic teaching that should one die before making it to confession (always the radical example, right, but I guess it could happen), one would be forgiven since they had the full intention of going and made steps to do so and may have already expressed true contrition for all their sins. Actually, your steps of wanting conversion, wanting confession, and expressing contrition is not totally your work, but already the results or God's prevenient grace being given to you. Remember the true Catholic teaching, despite how it gets twisted or presumed as the opposite by non-Catholics sometimes -- All is Grace.

As far as your family goes, I wouldn't make any direct steps to proselytize or convert them - this would drive them away further. Just live by example - that is it's own witness and it's not threatening and it's inviting even. But, I don't quite think that you are even asking this. You seem to ask how do you even let them know that you are going back to Church again. Well, you are not obligated to send out notices to friends and relatives once you go to confession and go to Church again. That's between you and God. I would just take care of your own spiritual business and let others know by happenchance if it ever comes up - like, I might arrive a little later at Sunday's family picnic because I want to attend Mass first - or whatever. People might just naturally observe you are happier and stronger even in character. If there is anyone in your family who would share the happiness of such news of your going back to Church again, you might share it with them. It could also happen that such an individual may let the cat out of the bag to others in the family - in which case you did not have to broach the subject - and other family members would have to ask you about it; not you, them.

As it's written: Be as gentle as a dove, but as cunning as a serpent. (MT 10:16)

Hope that helps. God bless.

 

Dom Quixote:

I'm so happy for you! I will pray for you in this matter.

Here's my take on this whole subject:

Just go.

I am not going to argue the merits of making an appointment v. just showing up, because it depends. IF what you want is a more leisurely conversation, or if you need or want some further guidance, then yes, make an appointment. But don't do it if you think you can't do it any other way.

When I was much younger, I spent ten years away from the Church. Granted, ten years isn't 35, but -- when I went back to confession, I just went into the church, waited in line, and took my turn. There's something very powerful in realizing that, despite all, I'm really a more ordinary sinner than I might have thought. It really didn't take that long at all. And I have heard priests make this point in their own way.

It would be great if you can go to the right priest, who will hear you well, or speak in clear English; but it may just not happen; who can really say what the "right" situation is, till it has happened? If you walk in, and the priest doesn't understand a single word of English, you can still go to confession, and receive absolution, and it'll be awesome. Maybe not in the way you hoped, but it will. Because Christ our Lord is the primary actor, and his mercy is what really counts.

One thing I've learned is that the more I go to confession, I don't make one confession, or one priest, overly important. I've talked to people who go on and on about this or that "great priest" or some "terrible" priest -- because of a confession experience. I've had my share of those as well. But in going to confession frequently -- I go 1-2 times a month, more if necessary -- those particulars matter less. One guy talks too much; another gives incomprehensible advice; another, to my great relief, says little but gives a clear penance and doesn't lecture me...you get the idea. But it's all secondary to what Jesus Christ does, and that's awesome!

One thing I love about this sacrament, and our Faith: the sacrament of confession isn't a "privilege" or a "concession"; it belongs to me. Christ himself offers it. Here's something that never fails to awe me. I can go to the priest, and pretty much say anything; and while I may be deeply embarrassed or shamed -- and he may be shocked (it's never actually happened), and he might lecture me...but in the end...

HE HAS TO ABSOLVE ME!

I can't go into a store and be guaranteed free food. I can't go to a doctor and get a guaranteed anything. I can't be assured a job or a paycheck.

But I can go to a priest, and admit my sins, and I will be given God's infinite mercy!

Awesome!!!

 

Prayers and Good luck Dom! Great posts by Joe and Sept. I can't add any more to what they said. Take your time and let the Lord wrap you in his mercy. It's like pizza, when it's good it is really good, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good. Just in case though, look both ways before you cross the street. :/)


Gus

 

You guys (Gus, Sep, and Joe) are all awesome! Thank you so very much for being in my corner while I face this most tumultuous time in my life. I must say, this is more exciting than any Super Bowl or World Serirs I've ever seen!

I've got great news tonight! I've made an appointment with the priest of my choosing for tomorrow at 4:15 pm. I normally work until 5:00, but I was able to get my boss' approval to work through lunch an leave early from work. I am totally prepared. I've printed off an Examination of Conscience from the Catholic register site, made a bunch of notes, and then made a list of 10 things that I want to accomplish in my life as follows:

I want to:

1. Develop a deep-rooted holy relationship with God now so I can persevere in more challenging times.
2. Honor God and live in the way He wants me to live (give my life to God).
3. Become much more connected with my fellow man, serve my fellow man, and break away from my isolation and self-centeredness.
4. Find greater peace and balance in my life.
5. Protect my (really God's) body from abuse (especially intentional self-abuse).
6. Be continually mindful of my actions and activities every day to not only avoid disappointing God, but to please Him.
7. Work on my prayer skills.
8. Make an impact in the short time I have left on this Earth.
9. Pursue a single vocation by living in Jesus Christ and adhering to a chaste and celibate lifestyle.
10. Continually strive to be the best possible version of myself; make myself proud, and make God proud.

Well there you have it, my friends. I'm pretty much an open book at this point (with quite a few ragged pages I might add)! By this time tomorrow I will bask in His Glory, and by this time two days from now I will have received my first Holy Communion in many many years. What a wild ride these last 26 days have been! It all began, unbelievably, with me going online searching for help to stop the nasty habit of M and finding this site.

Thank you again my friends for your help.

 

I'm ever so happy for you and not so surprised that God's providence has prevailed as his spirit was drawing and inspiring you. I am actually off to early morning Mass now, and you will be in my prayers.

God Bless!

 

Hey Joe, Sep, and Gus,

It's a done deal; I've made my Confession and am reborn (I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth before a few weeks ago)! I spent a full hour with the Priest, and it was really a rich and meaningful experience. Tomorrow I will receive Holy Communion. Man, this is like playing two consecutive baseball games, and hitting home runs in both games. Actually this is so much more monumental than any sort of game. I only hope and pray that the Spirit does not wear off somehow with time, and I really strongly don't think it will.

I'm a changed person, but I've still got one heck of a long way to go. However, I'm traveling down the path toward God with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Fapping is soooooo remote in my mind considering the gravity of today's happenings.

Again, Joe, Sep, and Gus, I want to thank all and each one of you guys. You each held me up at incredibly crucial times, and you helped me weather the storms. You guys were all without question a significant part of my turning toward God, and I've asked God to grab my steering wheel now. I am putting my faith in Him, and everything is going to be alright.

May the peace of our Lord be with you, Joe, Sep, and Gus!

 

Hi everyone. Back after a long absense. Sad to say I relapsed and haven't had any luck getting back to it. Been away from this site for many months but it is great to see this thread is still active.

I am feeling the motivation to pull through this time! Praying with all of you that we may overcome this terrible addiction.

 

So Happy for you Dom. Before I went to bed last night I thought of you even, thinking that all was now completed - with this first part of the journey anyway. I'm glad that you had a full, rich, and meaningful hour as you say. Yes, communion will be the sacramental culmination for your soul - being fed with His very real body and blood and soul and divinity, as John 6 says is of absolute, "real" necessity to our souls. I am off to Mass this morning now and will remember you in my prayers. Please pray for me (and all your Nofap brothers), too, during one of your Masses this weekend or to come. Thanks!

 

You've got it Joe; I no doubt owe a great many people who have prayed for me over the last 35 years without any apparent result until now. You and all NoFap members can be assured thaat my prayers at Mass today will ask for intervention as we all struggled with the ever present demons of PMO.

Peace, my friend

 

Hey guys,

I've just noticed this thread and really dig it! I'm a fellow Catholic and would be glad to join you all with my presence and prayers and, above all, our brotherhood in Jesus.
I'm currently on day 15 and prayer and medition are my daily doses of positivity and comfort.

I'll keep u all in my prayers and tomorrow's Mass.

God bless you all brothers!

 

Dom:

I'm very happy for you! Thanks for any prayers. I will keep praying for you.

 

Yes, let's all us Catholic bros keep each other in prayer at Sunday Mass this weekend. For that matter, we'll also pray for our fellow Christian, non-Christian, or even atheist brothers here on Nofap.

Best wishes, Slowhand - keep up the good fight! Welcome!