The Lord of the Rings Challenge

51 days
This time I'll make it to the 90

 

500 days White Wizard
566 days semen retention

Challenge completed thank you @RiseToGreatness for this amazing journey.

Good luck to all, the path can be difficult but light always shines against darkness.

 

Day 11

Tired from work. Got the rent paid this morning. The person at the desk said it should be okay... I'm supposed to wait for a call, but I know I won't get it. I don't have a ton to say right now. Really tired. All the stressful feelings the last few days really took a lot out of me, but I didn't use PMO!

 

Day 267 no PMO. 500 days seems so far away to me. I’m not saying I feel I won’t make it but it just seems so far away.

 

Look at how far you've travelled then just take one day at a time. Life isn't only No PMO, there are millions of other areas of focus out there.

 

Also what Frodo and Sam said.

 

Relapse, day 4

 

day 109! grey wizard here we go huge thanks goes to my gf and friends for helping me overcoming this addiction

 

Day 27 - Hobbit

Bought my plane tickets to fly home for Christmas last night. I’m getting excited for the holidays. Plan on doing a Friendsgiving next week since I won’t be going home. I might try to make a turkey for the first time. If I do, I want to go over the top with it. Been excited about making Dnd characters, but I haven’t chosen a group to play with. I know of at least 2 groups within my social circles I could play in, but I kinda want to DM as well. Still trying to figure that out. I’ve been pretty good about managing PMO urges, but much of the past week and half have been lost to Youtube. I need to fill my life with people and projects and activities that are actually fulfilling. I’ve always been the kind of person who gets anxious about making plans because “what if”. It’s a process, going back and forth with Youtube. I think I caught myself faster this time, so that’s good.

Congratulations @modern milarepa !!!
I’ve had a lot more random sexual thoughts during the day recently, but the urges at night have been relatively low. I keep reminding myself that this is for younger me, he deserves for me to be strong, and I want to be strong for him. I want to be the kind of person who can say no to what their emotions and feelings tell them to do, even when it’s really hard. I don’t want to numb my emotions anymore. What I/we are attempting is incredibly difficult, and I think that’s something to take comfort in. If you’re struggling, that makes sense, because you’re doing something that’s hard. Let’s be the people who do difficult things even when it sucks. Peace and love everyone, have a good day.

 

Day 43
I did not have any energy for anything today. All I wanted to do was just sleep, nothing else. I guess I'm in flatline phase. If it means my brain is rewiring itself, then I don't have any complaints. I also feel just a little bit pain at my balls, as if they are full and are going to explode some day. There are some positives in my life, of course. My mind was never that clear for a long time.

 

Congratulations !!!!!
You seem to be quite humble for just having completed this Challenge, White Wizard.

I have some questions to you, if I may:
- although I'm not really believing in semen retention (or what I've heard about it) I can't speak from experience as you do. So what is it like to be so much time without having masturbated and without having ejaculated? And how about sex? Did you manage to avoid ejaculation each time you had sex?

- Don't get me wrong, I think that you completed the challenge is a big achievement, no matter what! But are you or were you actually a porn addict? Or are you recovering just from masturbation habit, or so?

You see, I'm curious
Anyway, good luck on your further path, White Wizard!

 

So many relpases here these days! My gosh, is it the weather? Maybe the whole damn covid situation?

I'm pretty down myself. I sit at home with coffee and cake and watch one episode of this stupid series after another. Every hour or so some sexual thought arises. That I don't relapse under these circumstances is very peculiar. As I said, I'm making progress.
It's important to not think too negative now. I'm a damn orc in his cave. But an orc at least who doesn't listen to the dark lord. I'm not obeying the ring!

So I try to hold my head up first. The next step would be to make sacrifices and leave my cave but with the conviction that I bite the damn bullet and do whatever it takes. I have to guide myself the way as long as there isn't any wise figure that would do so.

Merry, go on your damn voyage. Go to the king and lay your sword in this lap. Your destiny is to be a knight and not an orc who sits in his cave, full of self-pity.

 

Day 6

 

All my life I rarely ejaculated and usually it was after long streaks. The difference now is I'm more mature and my mind has become more subtle. I'll say the longer the streak if done right the more deep you become in terms of understanding sexuality and more easily you can grasp what is behind the sensual realm.

I just keep learning, discovering more and more.

About sex, yes I don't feel the need to ejaculate during sex and right now and great part of this streak I was sexually active. Sex is the easiest part of a relationship and dealing with women it's the reward the fun part of it.

 

I always have this feeling of emptiness will it get over if I continue on nofap.

 

Day 5

 

Check in day 41.

 

Day 8.

 

Try the patience module of https://purityispossible.com
I did it day before yesterday and it definitely got me staying with the emptiness and heart ache

Addictions wallpaper over the chasm in our hearts with wafer thin superficial chemical hits, while all the while excavating our souls in the background

We can explore the discomfort & emptiness just a little while longer, because it is calling us to be present, it is our soul crying to be held after being neglected for so long and if it is too much we can take a break, get a natural high from exercise, or fresh air or relax and watch a trigger free film, etc.... The aches pass, the soul will begin to fill shortly and you will be back in the land of the living getting pleasure and happiness from the simplest most beautiful things

 

Checking in friends - there are few things that top the sense of achievement at the end of a 2 week streak - I am a Hobbit once again, and it feels good, thanks be to the Lord. The Uruk-Hai waged full blown war on my mind yesterday, but I survived - thanks to you fellow companions on this quest.

So here we go then to see what adventures await...