The Jedi Temple (open)

Day 78
i am seeing a psychologist today... i don't want to die stupidly.

 

563 days semen retention

 

168 Days - Senior Jedi Council Member

 

Day 0 - Youngling

I have not been on in over a week, and I have been struggling. The last three days in fact have involved in many ways a binge. Wednesday I viewed for two hours before PMOing. Thursday I viewed for half an hour before PMOing, and last night I view for another half an hour before PMOing. My best friend who is knowledgable of my addiction asked how pornography could take up so much time as one would think that it would speed up the coming, but I said that it is much more complicated than that. I don't just view to MO, I can view for hours as I edge until I find something I can release to. It is not just about the orgasm, that is just the end result, and thus, it would probably be quicker to MO without P than it would be to PMO. Because though PMO may lead to more stimulation, the addiction feeds off of not MOing for as long as possible. I don't know if anyone feels the same way, but that is how I view P versus MO. Both take time, but with P, it is not about releasing as fast as possible, but rather holding on as long as possible. Same goes with edging. If we just MO'd straight off without edging or P, we may be better off. I don't know, it is a complicated mess.

In other news, I took my first shower in 4 days, and I fully intend to accomplish my goals today. Back to journaling in my three journals, working on my novel. Reading. Language practice, and bed by 9-10PM.

Anyway, I hope to have a better update tomorrow.
Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 27, checking in.

 

564 days semen retention

 

Day 79
for the first time since i can't remember i did my first "non running" physical training this morning :
some pushups
3x10 abs

i have a problem of motivation and being able to sleep because i can't complete my homework and show up to school because of my lack of motivations. my psy told me to think about where to put my loyalty, (music vs graduate school vs parents vs work vs etc.)

may the Force be with you !

 

169 Days - Senior Jedi Council Member

 

Day 28, checking in.

 

Day 80 !
wow 20% left before my personnal goal !

may the Force be with you all, let's try to take it another day further.

 

170 Days - Senior Jedi Council Member

 

Day 29, checking in.

 

171 Days - Senior Jedi Council Member

 

Day 81 wow. i did not post here today

let us be one with the Force.

 

Day 1

 

Day 30, checking in. Jedi Knight.

 

Day 82,

woke up at 5:10AM today for school...

i had a good day so far... even though i am tired because of a short night. how can i go to bed earlier... that's not how my family lives ! i told them i need to go to bed at 9:00PM, but they have a life where they sleep at later than 11:00PM.. it's difficult not to conform.

thank you. may the Force be with you !

 

567 days semen retention

 

172 Days - Senior Jedi Council Member

 

Day 31, checking in.