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Constantly binging a sign of chemical addiction?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by QuiggyG, Nov 23, 2021.

  1. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    I’m back on these forums after a long period of taking a huge break and dealing with PMO issues on my own. So far, I’ve had many victories dealing with such issues as false fetishes (eg trans) and managed to reach many goals I initially set.

    As of now, I keep my intentional exposure to P much more minimal then I previously did before, but also cut out a lot of social media applications whereby I may come across P-subs or P unintentionally.

    Unfortunately, I still have a lot of work to do. As of now, I’m currently struggling with overcoming the issue of binging. I initially set up a fairly sturdy blocking set up (DNS, app, code lock etc) that has helped tremendously, but one break in that network can cause a massive relapse.

    As for my P usage currently, it’s basically getting back on PHub, opening up any videos that might/potentially could lead me to MO, plus old ones I “enjoyed” in the past. At times, I have up to 60+ tabs open in a session and binge through about 5-6 videos looking for the “perfect” scene for whatever mood I’m in. Most of these tabs I’ll never watch (usually videos I’ve seen before with P stars I used to watch) but it’s still a irresponsibility I bring myself into doing. At the end of it all, I feel disgusted with myself, realising I’m only setting myself back from my original goals. I close the tabs, re-enable blockers and basically rinse and repeat until the next binge. Some of the time, I don’t even last a day without P, sometimes I can get good week-long+ streaks.

    As so far my understanding of this behaviour, it leads me to my question: is binging PMO a sign of chemical addiction? Or is it purely a continuation of P watching old habits?. To me, it feels like a binge is a sign of one of the two, but I more so feel that I could potentially have a chemical attachment to PMO. Sometimes, I feel grouchy without it, but those feelings can subside if I really change my mindset. I know pretty much how bad P is (especially the cultural ethics of the P industry, the self-inflicted harms and it’s subversive nature) but I feel this is not enough to turn me off watching P, so this is why I ask the question as to why I might feel like it’s maybe chemically induced rather than a habit. Or both.

    I haven’t established a definitive answer on this, so this is why I asked if anyone could give me some answers on whether this is sign of chemical attachment (like a dependancy) as opposed to a continuation of old habits. Any helpful answers would be greatly appreciated.

    PS: I have read Gary Wilson’s YBOP, but I will admit some of it did go over my head (particular stuff like Delta-Fsob or brain chemistry notes). So some of what I’ve asked about maybe already answered in the book, but feel free to refresh my memory.
     
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  2. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Wondering this too, it's like digital cocaine - I even get the headaches after binging too, really bad ones that last for days.
     
    QuiggyG and An0nym0use1234 like this.
  3. An0nym0use1234

    An0nym0use1234 Fapstronaut

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  4. DukeNukem

    DukeNukem Fapstronaut

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    Is your counter just for fapping?
     
    OhWhenThe likes this.
  5. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    It’s a drug I’d say, more or less. Probably a lot more like an opioid (like heroin) than cocaine. I think that’s why I get “withdrawals” but I can manage them to a degree.
     
  6. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    As in day counter? Yes, days with PMO. I have counters for other things but I’m fine with those.
     
  7. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    agreed. Still unsure if it’s the chemical withdrawals drawing me back or the habit itself.
     

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