The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3

Caught myself impulsively fishing for triggers again but I stopped myself. Gonna hang out with my crush later when she gets home from work.

 

Day 32. The road has been bumpy lately but I am pushing ahead

 

Day 111!

"Reading" the Lord of the rings in audiobook:

 

494 days

I Will update it soon, thnx

 

6th sense for sex

I talked to this new girl she seems like a special girl but she lives almost 2hrs from where I live. I don't like to travel at all. She invited me to stay at her house for the weekend. But I'm not going, she has to visit me if she wants a piece of this haha.

Another girl wants to see me a lot and even keeps texting me after me not replying to her. She is very hot. I discussed it with my father he told me the girl is domineering in sex. My father has this thing of knowing how a girl is going to be in the bedroom without even knowing her, I have it too but not in this case, I knew I didn't like the girl attitude chasing me, that is domineering and masculine in itself. So my father told me to ask her if she was domineering in sex, she told me she prefers to be that way. So I'm surprised my father was right.

I wasn't able to pick it up before, but I realized she was already showing masculine traits, so I was feeling uncomfortable, and the times I felt uncomfortable around a girl because her personality the sex was bad, they were bad at sex or strange behaviours in the bedroom. When a girl is extremely active and domineering that takes away your masculinity it messes up with your head and energy is a sex that makes you tired and drained.

Now I learned something very clear, if I'm not comfortable with the girl as a person the sex will be bad, and probably if I'm not comfortable it's because she has some strange personality traits which will translate into the bedroom, how you are as a person you are in the bed.

The hottest girl won't be an enjoyable sex it can be even terrible if you don't enjoy her personality or you don't like the human interaction besides sex you have with her. I think this teaching was a good one now I see a hot girl and I don't get completely turn on unless I like her personality.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

Day 308 free of MO day 380 free of Porn.

I have had a very stressful week (my stress tolerance went down a bit this week), with the recurrence and spark of PAWs, my anxiety was a bit higher and I've had some unwanted/unpleasant dreams about people I knew in the past. It filled me with regrets and sadness. I'm looking forward for this bout to end.

Although, there is good in every bad situation. We just need to look for it. So here is some of the good, in the past, (when this mess of withdrawal all started) I would of tried to take a vacation day off work or call in sick (escape) , but I went through my days thus far. I even dealt with certain very challenging situations and still made it through. I've left myself feel, I've actively taken time throughout the day to meditate more to maintain myself. The me of the past would of over analyzed and spiralled my mind into an anxious war. At the very least, all the recurring symptoms i've had this week pale in comparison to what they were at the beginning and they are much weaker than the previous time. I know distraction is not the solution to the way I feel, although it is difficult to do, I am facing this bout as well as I can.

Forgive me for the sloppy writing my friends, I am very tired today.

Stay strong!

 

Relapsed unfortunately. I was waiting for my crush to call but she was really late (we ended up postponing it) and I didn't wanna play games (to distract myself from the urge) because I was worried she'd call whilst I was playing, even though I could've just finished whatever I was playing and could've talked with her during that anyways??? Another classic case of getting an urge and not using the distractions list I made, instead relying on my own brain which is a bad idea.

 

Day 4 complete!

Doing okay. No really strong urges have presented themselves, but there's a consistent undercurrent running through me, like I could get hit with a massive urge at any moment. I'm being extra aware of my physical state and my level of mindfulness. School breaks are always a rough time for me because I get thrown out of my daily routine, and eating a really large meal is usually a specific trigger for me. Thanksgiving Day, which is tomorrow, involves both. However, I want to be able to genuinely give thanks for the healing process and the success of my NoFap journey, so that will be a strong motivator to me not to reset.

Blessed Michael McGivney, pray for us!

 

60 days – After leaving Moria, you enter the Kingdom of the Silvan Elves, Lothlórien.

This time I'll make it to the 90

 

Day 9 complete

 

11 days.

Tired, unfocused and weird mood yesterday. A part of it was probably due to some beers I had at an AW the night before. There’s another AW planned on Friday with other people, thinking of skipping it.

 

Chaser from gf and urges are hitting me hard. Feel drained and like a drone some of these days

Day 7 - Orc, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

 

Alright, didn't think I would be writing this but, Day 5.
Yesterday I was very close to relapsing, but I somehow managed to control myself. I had a few hours of absolute craving and it was pretty difficult so I'm very proud of this result. The seven days milestone seems so close...

 

Thanks for your help. I am actually really grateful that we got to that point in our relationship. I think I have always wanted to tell her something was wrong so I wouldn't place my money on it, but I think this mood changes are giving me some courage; if so, they are very much appreciated. I think I will use this chance to try and be more outspoken with people from now on. Anyways, thanks for the support, I really needed some word of advice, and cheers for your seven days streak.

 

That's probably it, i will try to release the stress with some exercise and follow your much needed advice. As I've already said, I think I will try to make the best out of these mood swings to see if they can give me the courage to say some things I was always too afraid to say out loud. Good luck dealing with your withdrawal symptoms(I see that your streak is at 4 currently), hopefully we can both make it to double digits.

 

Day 1
Still struggling just to survive the first few days.
Staying as far away from my phone as I can.
I had therapy lest night and I've told him that I want to put everything else on hold and END this addiction. So now I'm going all in on this shit.
I've join this challenge on the start of this year and I really want to make it a whole month for the first time before the end of 2021.
And I believe I can

 

Day 276 no PMO. Today is Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be thankful for (in no particular order):
I have a wife that has stuck with me
I have two beautiful children
My dad loves me
I have great brothers
I have good friends
God loves me
Jesus died for my sins
I enjoy my church
I have a volunteer job that helps people
My career is very stable
Money is not a problem
My health is good
UGA is having a great football season
I like my in-laws
I live in a great country
The sun always rises
God isn’t done working on me yet
I have a home and a bed
This site has helped me
Today is thanksgiving day
I love thanksgiving food

I hope you all have a great day! Be thankful!

 

@crazyhorse11 wow, great reflection. Love the quote from Atomic Habits too.

 

Relapsed. I got randomly sent nudes from someone on one of the dating apps that I use, I'm assuming it was a bot and not a real person but it was obviously so unexpected and caught me so off guard that I immediately relapsed to it before having time to process it and stop myself. I don't really think there's much I can say in terms of what I've learned from this relapse. This is obviously not something that happens all the time, it's just a really unlucky thing that happened. Obviously I could certainly improve how I responded to it since I relapsed but there's nothing to improve when it comes to preventing it happening again, other than just deleting the dating app which I don't want to do. As much as dating apps might set me back in the short term, being able to find new people and connect with others will go a long way for me in the long term I think.