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I have an Anxious Attachment to a friend (Please help)

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Thancred, Nov 25, 2021.

  1. Thancred

    Thancred Fapstronaut

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    In the classroom, I have a friend with which I spent some time. We have similar interests, similar hobbies and he is so kind and a good person. Sadly I build around him unhealthy attachment.

    I would do anything for him, I'm even helping him when he does not ask for help. I want to make him happy, laugh and i really care about him (I care about him much more, than he cares about me) I don't see that exactly as a problem, but a problem is made due to this.
    Another friend with the same similar hobbies from the same classroom started to talk with that friend which I care about, and this made me jealous. This made me so jealous, that I feel depressed, anxious, and even more jealous, that I even now don't like that friend which is talking with him, due to that he is spending time with him. Every few hours I go to social media, discord, games, etc... to see if they are both online at the same time and ask myself: are they spending time with each other? I feel so pleased when they are not together, but when I see that they are spending time with each other, without me I feel so bad that I even feel so depressed and sometimes I even cry.

    I don't know what to do, it's destroying me from the inside, I feel like I'm left behind.
    I need to resolve this as quickly as possible because I can't stand it anymore.
    Please help <3
     
    {Ananta} likes this.
  2. DukeNukem

    DukeNukem Fapstronaut

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    Serious though who cares man you'll get over this eventually
     
  3. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    This may not be the answer you are looking for, but here goes. You need to work on your self-esteem my friend. If you don't already, exercise. Be kind to yourself, compliment you. Do not let your sense of self-worth rely on another person. We are let down by our expectations of others, especially because we think that they think and act the way we do. The truth is, everyone thinks and acts differently. Learn to remove expectation from someone, or you will always be hurt when someone fails to meet your own. A friend is not there to hangout with you all the time, they do have other friends and other hobbies, you should work on expanding to new hobbies and friendships too. Also, if this friendship is you putting in 100% of the work, then it is not a good friendship. Rather a toxic one for you and you should consider distancing yourself from it.

    I hope you found this helpful.

    Good luck.
     
  4. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Maybe try becoming friends with the other friend, you could form a friend group since you have similar hobbies.
     

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