Got married!

So, you all deserve some context.

I used to be a serial fapster. And I mean, doing it for 2 or 3 times a day, every single day without fail ever since my late teens. I am now 31-years old, and I made an account here a couple of years back and made on and off attempts at quitting cold turkey.

My fapping sessions sometimes involved porn or other online material that I found sexually appealing, but mostly my imagination, and sometimes even exhibitionist tendencies.

I had to drop out from university whilst pursuing a postgrad because my habits grew so bad that I was spending pretty much no time at all on studying. My hobbies dried up, I had a failed (long distance) relationship, and found myself going back to my country, and then the pandemic well and truly struck and I was left without a job for over a year.

My finances dried up because I had used up everything on my habits, which I think I best not detail too much due to triggering effects that may be caused on you guys, but mostly because I cringe talking about them and feel there is no benefit to it.

I managed to land myself a dreadfully boring but decent paying job for a year, but that was the best year I've had in a long time. That was because I got quite a lot of free time and decided to finally act, seriously with a view to get permanently cured from my addiction.

Using my newfound resolve and free time, I met the girl of my dreams, a girl who has her own insecurities and isn't afraid to share her thoughts with me. I felt myself opening up to her, the first time I've truly done that with anyone actually, and this really strengthened my resolve. We were not sexually involved at the time, because we decided to do that after marriage as part of my recovery process.

We got married in October and it has been great!

The effects of my previous habits remained during the first week when we were exploring each other sexually. I had a bit of a problem with ED, which she thankfully understood, but I can proudly confirm that that issue gradually went away and I honestly feel cured.

If you go through these forums and read about the experiences of others, you will find that ED is a common side effect of this wretched habit, and according to some researchers, more and more young people have been falling victim to this, most likely caused due to the ease of access to online porn and subsequent fapping habits.

To those who are in this, I say don't fret. I was a virgin until I turned 31, always had trouble talking to girls, had terrible self-confidence, always doubted myself and lost quite a lot of my useful skills due to my previous habits. I've wasted so much time and money, while a lot of my coworkers and friends of my age have achieved much, much more that I can imagine in their lives.

But, it's never too late. Ultimately, it's all up to each of us to take our lives by the scruff of the neck and try to lead it somewhere. I'm still careful with how I conduct myself, because I'm very aware that certain sediments of the addiction will always linger inside me. You could say that I'm in a permanent state of recovery.

I don't want to lose the things that I've worked so hard to achieve, the things that make me happy.