37 Days

I have been without POM for 37 days, these last few days have been very difficult due to anxiety, my mind plays tricks on me for not giving him his drug, any advice or someone to tell me if it is normal? I'm not going to relapse, but I don't like these kinds of moments either, usually intrusive thoughts come that I can't stop and it also comes to me with depersonalization, it's a very uncomfortable feeling, but I have faith that one day they will be greatly reduced.

 

If you look at what happens, it is that this year I was very bad emotionally and mentally, so I decided to take actions and decisions that would help me in the future, I started with multivitamins, with a routine of walking 30 minutes a day, since I do not study or I wanted and want to do that to increase my energy, not be so tired all day and be happy and live the moments very well, I started with that, in addition to sleeping well and trying to eat well, it has helped me a lot, but since I decided to take action on this addiction, I am not saying that the above does not continue to work for me, but precisely this week, days 32, 35 and 37 have been very difficult in terms of fatigue, intrusive thoughts and depersonalization, it is terrifying that you scared of who you are, that you do not recognize yourself, or that it makes you strange to see your family, these are episodes not so closely followed, and usually happen little, but the thoughts are those that haunt me, they usually come with things to which they I had a huge fear e (not much anymore) and they make me uncomfortable and I feel like I can't, but at the end of the day, I visualize everything I've done and everything I've dared to do to be happy with myself.
I have been taking daily vitamins for 80 days, and 80 days walking daily, first I started with 30 minutes and currently 35, on day 90 I will go up to 40 minutes, I try to eat well, sleep well, shower daily and put a meditation in the shower, then from the shower if I feel more relaxed, I suppose it is due to meditation, also every night I talk to God, I put a prayer of 4 minutes and I say it, I have not failed any day, I feel proud of everything I have achieved in so little time, but sometimes I feel very overwhelmed, and sometimes I also use crying to vent, I have a couple of friends, some help me and my family too, I just don't tell them about my nofap challenge, I'm 18 years old and I hope and have faith that within a year or two, I'll be shining like never before.