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The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. newbobido

    newbobido Fapstronaut

    Relapsed hard

    Actually, not so hard, but just stupidly and then I just didn’t pick myself up.

    I was home alone lest night because my wife went out… and that’s it. That is the end of the story.

    Right now my dream is to get my shit together in order to make it one month free of porn in 2021. That is all I truly want at the moment. I know I should want an ever lasting change. But that is too big right now.

    What I truly need is to be able to stay at home alone without PMO all over the place…

    I’ve bought a porn blocker for my phone and I’m going to ask my wife to put a look on it. It would serve two objectives. One is simply to be a stronger barrier against porn. And the other is to make myself accountable in her eyes. And that is the really hard part.

    I know she lost some respect for me when she sew how much I “want it” and how much I still failed.

    I don’t want to disappoint myself anymore. And I really want to stop hurting her.
     
  2. crazyhorse11

    crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your very kind words brother :emoji_punch:
     
  3. Don'tLookBack

    Don'tLookBack Fapstronaut

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    I want in! Challenges like these help with my accountability. Day 0. Nazgûl.
     
  4. crazyhorse11

    crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in friends - realised I jumped the gun on becoming an Uruk, but today, day 7, I am an Uruk for real, so back on track

    Just going to post a summary of the anatomy of a relapse by Freedom Fight, to help me better assimilate these superb aids and maybe it helps someone else too. So the below is courtesy of Freedom Fight.

    Relapse does not come out of nowhere! P is not our only coping mechanism, we go through many others before we even get there...

    F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale:
    You are pursuing your priorities or goals, but then you experience pain, a rejection or some other negative emotion, which leads to...
    • Forgetting Priorities (---> numbing out with media)
      • instead of facing the pain you avoid it
      • more interested in surfing or chatting than in current reality
      • this leads to ...
    • Anxiety (---> fantasy)
      • some people get energy from worrying which leads to
    • Speeding up (---> binge eating, overwork, impulsive)
      • this is why you keep on adding more, even though you are super busy already
      • you try to outrun the anxiety, and other negative emotions, with more activity
      • this leads you to be
    • Ticked Off (-->medicating with anger)
      • this is why you always seem angry because you are using the anger to cope with your pain
      • this leads to becoming
    • Exhausted (-->craving to act out)
      • your emotional energy is depleted
      • you are living in survival mode
      • this leads to
    • RELAPSE (-->act out)
    P is not our only coping mechanism, we go through many others before we even get there.
    These other coping mechanisms increase our cravings as we slide down this scale

    Once you are on the slide you have a choice to make
    • Avoid the pain - Unhealthy
    • Confront the pain - Healthy
    With each step down the scale towards relapse, it becomes more difficult to face the pain

    Keys to help:
    • First - the relapse does not come out of nowhere
      • Each step is a double bind - do the easy thing and avoid the pain, or do the right thing and face the pain
    • Resolving this double bind always involves facing the pain
      • Reaching out for help
      • Admitting how you feel
      • Exploring why you feel that way
      • Reminding yourself of the truth
    • The earlier you notice and admit that you are sliding, the better
      • It takes a bit of effort to use this scale, but not a fraction of the effort it takes to resist temptation when you are in exhausted
    • Keep a pulse on your personal craziness
      • Crazy lifestyle choices like not getting enough rest/sleep can be the source of what is driving you down the scale
      • Or you are using the craziness to try and outrun the pain again, which will lead to exhaustion
      • The question now is do I take a step towards balance and health OR do I step towards craziness and relapse
    • Get to the Root of the double bind
      • are you procrastinating because of something superficial like laziness
      • or are you procrastinating from something deeper like fear of rejection
      • could your identity be rooted in the opinion of others rather than in God?
      • Discovering the truth and replacing the lies with God's truth is an important step to renewing your mind
    • BRACE helps you stop the slide
      • Breath - Remember - Accountability Call - Escape isolation
    • Know your BLASSTED emotions
      • Boredom
      • Loneliness
      • Stress
      • Self Doubting
      • Ticked Off
      • Exhausted
      • Depressed
    • Identifying these can help you see what pain caused the slide in the first place and help figure out where you are on the FASTER scale
    I'll aim to add the FASTER scale and BLASSTED emotions to the trigger plan during the week

    For now I wish you all a restorative, calm, rest of your weekend and strength & resolve of new beginnings for the week ahead!
     
  5. crazyhorse11

    crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Ready_to_Stop , @HE^MAN stay the course! You have come too far on this quest and have won much harder battles than this over the course of your epic jouneys - those victories are also in your memory - recall them, remind yourself of your strength, bring them back to life, stand up and fight - COME ON we are all cheering you on!!!!
     
  6. MellotronScratch

    MellotronScratch Fapstronaut

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    Pretty interesting, and I can relate a lot. Thanks for sharing, Hope you can join the fellowship.
    I'll see ya in Mount Doom
     
  7. Kairose

    Kairose Fapstronaut

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  8. kaerhal

    kaerhal Fapstronaut

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    Day 2

    These recent months have been plagued with uncertainty, I’ve started a new role that over the course of three years will better prepare me for my vocation, but despite seeing the end goal I was frustrated at how slow things were moving - this pushed me towards relapsing many times in an effort to relieve stress and feelings of low self-worth.

    Today I was given the green light to preach for the first time, something I’ve always felt called to do even with the anxiety of public speaking! I realised that I was trying to rush God’s perfect timing, when if I’m honest waiting this long to preach probably did me a world of good.

    I am encouraged in my vocation and this will undoubtedly help me in my fight with PMO! Onwards to the Shire!
     
  9. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    Take a day or two off of your path of self-development. Rest on those days, increase your meditation during that time if you can. Bring things back to basics, those that set you on your previous streak and go from there. Stand again my brother, your good habits will hold you once more!
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2021
  10. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    My brothers, you both were victims of complacency. You've been on this journey for a long time, with great success may I add. The momentary weakness you felt was your temptation demon, let's call it your ring, it has taken its opportunity to strike. The great news is, you both stopped yourself. Which is proof of your efforts and trained awareness, so well done on that front! As I mention to Christoph, take a day or two off. Meditate, rekindle what started you along this journey. Reinforce your why, review your notes and review the harms of PMO. Remember what you perceived before you started. Take heart, it is not today that you fall, today you've both learned a valuable lesson. The valuable lesson of complacency and the value of sharpening your tools as you keep progressing on your journey.

    Stand my brothers!
    [​IMG]

    This may help.
     
  11. til_im_free

    til_im_free Fapstronaut

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    Day 6

    Today I did the last test of the national exam to apply to a university. Last week I relapsed as I arrived home. Today it was different. I celebrated the ending of this cycle with my family and relaxed a bit. Felt horny, though, but I'm not gonna surrender like 7 days ago. Now I'm going to have an one-week vacation and then I'll be back to studying, since there are other exams scheduled for february 2022.
     
  12. MS PBH

    MS PBH Fapstronaut

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  13. LuckyMan

    LuckyMan Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this. Great stuff to think about and get ready for future challenges.
     
  14. Day 2 complete.

    My willpower is always quite high right after a relapse, as if I'm determined to make up for the fall; this has been helpful for denying the chaser effect urges. The next couple days will be more of a test. I'm back at seminary after Thanksgiving break, so final exams for the semester will be coming up in about two weeks, but those don't worry me very much. Fantasizing has not been a big problem for me lately, so as long as I can be careful with my phone use I should be in a good position.

    St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!
     
  15. CALM IN SUFFERING

    CALM IN SUFFERING Fapstronaut

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    Day 0.

    I didn’t masturbate, I didn’t watch actual porn, but I did ejaculate while looking at butts with underwear, the view was enough for me to get too excited. But I was looking at sexy non porn images for a week maybe and I was aware of of the consenquenses.

    The things I found in the old testament makes me doubt my faith, I had fights with my wife and I have something like a skin fungus in my head from BJJ and all of this is disbalancing me and my routine. I am a mess. I will try prioritizing my routine and reboot.
     
  16. Talz

    Talz Fapstronaut

    Day 2

    Here we are at the end of a long work day. I'm super exhausted and have to go do it all over again early tomorrow morning. After that I get a good stretch of days off though. I've been talking to a girl there a bit more. We have a lot of beliefs in common. I should try to take my mind elsewhere, but I kind of like her. I just wonder if she likes me I guess. Kind of pathetic that I need the validation. I'm just going to try and interact normally.

    Definitely got some urges right now. Feels like something is missing... And I know what that is!

    I'll manage, goodnight.
     
  17. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    1 day >> Orc (The spell of porn is strong in me)

    I guess I'm bipolar (to a certain degree, as is everyone). So here is how to deal with it:
    1. Realize in which phase you're in
    2a. (if manic) Do something smart
    2b. (if depressive) Don't do something stupid
    3. Try to understand why you feel the way you feel right now

    @crazyhorse11 that is some awesome stuff, thanks for sharing!
    @Redemptionisrequired thank you, your words are very encouraging
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2021
    rotten_tomato, MS PBH, Talz and 12 others like this.
  18. HE^MAN

    HE^MAN Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Day 498
    Thanks brothers i will keep my emotions under control.
    Coming this far and relapsing is not an option now.
     
  19. Prophet Moonstruck

    Prophet Moonstruck Fapstronaut

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    Day 81! The ghosts of yesterday still try to get at me since the time I thought I was going to have for myself, quickly devolved into 0 due to a birthday party and it's subsequent plans. I was on a roll with inspiration, but due to all the cake and pizza and everything, today feels quite slow and a little disturbed. My mission today, is to be focused on the reactions of the body as it tries to bring stress into the future. I noticed even urges trying to take a hold of me, but a cold shower is imminent after this update.
    Have a great day!
     
  20. newbobido

    newbobido Fapstronaut

    Day zero

    Had a hard talk with my wife about nofap. It started with me asking her to help me, and to put a password for the porn blocker I’ve installed.

    At first it was a really hard talk and she told me how this addiction is making her feel. How she feels like I’m watching porn as part of a “payback” to her for going out with friends, and that is 1000% not true. But I get how she is seeing this like that.

    While talking I’ve understood how much different the two main trigger groups are.

    The first group is simply the habits. The fact that my heart goes from 0 to 100 the moment the door is closing, and I’m left alone at home. The fact that starts to feel some kind of void if we don’t watch P a couple of days and I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me I’ve felt so many times like my fingers are typing bad stuff on google without no intention from me.

    The second group is the shitty coping mechanism to deal with emotions we have. The fact that after a fight with someone, after a panic attack or (the shitter of them all) after someone fall and relapse and suffer from so much self-hate that the only action, I can take is always watching more P. that is a much deeper level of addiction at leas for me.

    But even though the emotion group is the more meaningful one, only after we kind of learn to deal with the habit part could we even really learn to deal better with the world around us.

    So the new porn blocker would not save me from the need to escape when I think about how I want to quit my job even though I don’t know what to do with my life. but I could help me with all of those moments where you feel like the prisoner in your own mind, and you see yourself falling even though you know it wont make you happy but you are home alone and that is simply the thing you do when you are alone…
     

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