Day 7 on my Journey, Read for Motivation.

Good evening,
I’m going to take my time to explain my goals behind this journey and my experience with porn and PMO.

First let’s go back in time. When I was in high school (in the UK it is age between 11 and 16) I was skinny and very bad with girls. And I don’t mean the good type of bad. I only had one sexual experience with a girl and it wasn’t a very good one in this time frame and during this time I discovered porn and began a unhealthy relationship. For the attention and needs I wanted I the real world I substituted for what I could find online. Maybe 14 to 18 years old I did you know what every day it was a unhealthy addiction. Even when I had my first girlfriend I was still watching porn. Not as much but it was still there.

Fast forward to me been 20 I met an amazing woman on holiday and gladly still with her currently. 6 years going strong. But unfortunately still had a bad relationship with porn. I did once go maybe 3 months of not masturbating to porn but mainly due to the fact I was having sex nearly everyday with my fiancé. And unbeknown to her sometimes fantasising whilst having sex with her. Not specifically about other women but thinking oh I wish she would do this or this like they do on porn.

I’d say over the last 2-3 years my addiction has got so much worse. The porn I need to watch is way more hardcore and intense than my first exposure. And definitely way more intense than my sex life. Not to knock it, it is amazing and we both meet our needs definitely in sex. However, my brain was just constantly pinned on porn and fantasies. My addiction got so bad over a period of time I was obsessed with thinking about my sister in laws when masturbating. Watching porn and reading sex stories about sisters in law wishing it was me. And watching the same porn actress over and over or spending literal hours trying to find a specific video. It was just sad really. I fantasied over my sisters in law so much I was taking things out of context and thinking I was in love with them when really I wasn’t. Porn just makes you think everyone wants you when real life isn’t like that.

This is probably the fourth or fifth time me starting this but it will be my last one as I have all intensions of been a NoFap god. My plan is the following. Watching porn is banned, images or videos which will trigger me is banned. So less instagram and blocking YouTube videos/accounts which could trigger me. Also having the mindset of been focused on goals which will benefit me. Such as working out, been a pro active dad, a clean home environment, productive at work, doing better for my fiancé and most importantly not been desperate for sex. I used to view sex like it was gold dust. If your in a relationship you do not have to have sex everyday. Yes it would be nice but me and my fiancé probably have sex every week or two weeks and it gets better every time. I’m currently on 7 days on my no gap journey and we had sex yesterday and it was utterly amazing. I have seen other benefits too so far, generally more energy and motivation. Less of a headache. I’m going off subject again but one tip what has helped me this time is to stop looking at a woman like a piece of meat. I used to look at every butt and bust possible. Especially at work there is some fine works of art in the butt department. But this last week instead of looking at my work colleagues and sometimes fantasying about them sexually. Just don’t. Just don’t look at their butts and thinking you want them. Because I’m reality they probably don’t want you. Sad but true.

The first few days on this journey were tough and I nearly quit but I’m doing this to stop a 10 year plus issue which has only made me unproductive, depressed and lazy. Now is the time to be more productive and feel the benefits of quitting porn. If your having a tough time you can do this, you can do pretty much anything you put your mind to. I’m sorry I’ve rambled on I’m passionate about this subject and found lots of motivation on here. I’ll keep you ladies and gentleman updated as time goes on. Peace.

 

The first few days are tough, you can do this. Jump on the thread if you need support or motivation. Wish you all the best ✌️