The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Relapsed. I was really close to the 15 days so it hurts a lot. Nothing and no one to blame but myself, it was my decision. I'll have to start from square one.

 

Day 282 no PMO. My wife was sick all day yesterday so I stayed home to help her. She didn’t even really get out of bed so I was on my own most of the day which isn’t the way I like to spend my time. I don’t like being alone. I was thinking that I would need to sleep last night in the guest room and I had planned to come back here last night to make a post so that I could stay strong in the guest room on my own. Anyway… she ended up wanting me to sleep in the room with her lay night so I got through the day with no issues. It’s crazy how much I hate being alone and how much of a trigger it is for me.

@HE^MAN great work on the 500!!! Please do share your success story.

 

Awesome @HE^MAN ! Way to go!!!

 

Congratulations @HE^MAN !! We're proud of you!

 

Really happy to read this! Write this feeling and thoughts with fire in your heart!

Say to our enemy, Satan, I renounce to you! I won't be your slave anymore!
Say God you belong to him, not to the enemy!

God loves you brother! You know it, never forget!

 

It's a good idea to start from becoming free from wrong beliefs and living in the way you respect yourself( no PMO is a huge part of it). Why do you think you are wasting your time(this is the wrong belief-the beneficial one would be 'I am gaining experience and learning about people and I can have fun doing that if only I stop taking myself too seriously!' And you are free, you have choice, apparently if we do something at the moment -we believe that it is the best option for us. As for the other people-they are all part of you and a mirror of yourself, we are all interconnected and depend on each other. I remember that I used to think exactly the same and wanted independent business. But now I know that there is no such thing as 'independent business' -every business depends on customers and suppliers,on cooperation with other people-You just want to have satisfaction and sence of meaning -contribution, to be appreciated whilst doing your work. Start with changing yourself, your thought about yourself and situations in your life. Speak to yourself as if you would to your best friend. Say to yourself I am happy, I am joyous and dwell ponder on these words...you might be surprised by the instant effect

Yeah,thats the way ! The only way to change others is by changing yourself, the only way to be loved is to love for the sake of love

You do it by exercising 'the last of the human freedoms' that cannot be taken away - by your freedom to think what you choose to think, by forgiveness and letting go of any hard feelings and selfishness.
Thanks for you question brother!

 

Congratulations brother !

 

Day 0 - Nazgul

I MOed again last night. Something dangerous is happening in my mind. All my failings this past week have been without P. While I would like to be rid of PMO entirely, if I had to weight which one of the three was the biggest concern for me, it would definitely be P. So, because I haven’t used P, my brain thinks it’s ok that we MO. It’s just once or twice a week, right? No harm no foul? But this is how addictions start, isn’t it? Good intentions fall away as you start needing/craving the thing more and more. What was once off-limits or taboo becomes necessary to reach the next high. Last night, I had the thought of grabbing my phone from the other room while I was MOing. Even though I wasn’t looking at P, I was thinking about it. That’s a no go for me. It’s so frustrating, because MOing is such a fast and convenient way to turn off emotions and anxiety at the end of the day. But it is an addiction, it will only lead me down paths that add to my anxieties and make me engage in things that I find morally reprehensible.

I just want it to be easy. I need to let go of that if I want to move forward. But right now I feel tired.

I noticed that on the nights it happened, I let myself play video games for an extended amount of time. I don’t think video games are inherently bad, but I do think they reduce our motivation. I think of motivation like a mana meter in a game. Some activities add to your motivation/mana, other activities drain it. Video games and PMO are similar in that they both have a draining effect on motivation. Every activity costs some motivation to start, but the activities that fill up your meter give more back than what you put in. Games and PMO are really tricky because they cost very little to start, but they drain a lot once you’re doing them.

I’ve slipped with Youtube and Twitch watching as well, which are also draining. I need to look at my daily hobbies/activities and see where I need to replace draining activities with filling activities.

Beautiful post, ListenPaul, thank you for writing that. And Congratulations to He^Man!!!!! Hope you all have a good day. God bless.

 

580 days semen retention

 

20 days – With rain and fog you enter the old village of Bree.

Good to be back to Bree!

 

"In his heart, Frodo begins to understand. The Quest will claim his life."

 

Hi, I hope that there is still some room in Fellowship-currently on Day 16 which would make me Hobbit - I definitely still see Hobbiton but slowly moving forward, at this point being on my longest streak, hoping to maintain it!

 

Day 3,

Back on the horse and making my way forward. Thank you for all of the support. I found a 40 day challenge on Iphone which is free. It is not a blocker, but a way to maintain accountability.

Best to you all!

 

Day 5

Brilliant day at college, great lectures and worship - but the highlight was a chat in the pub with a close friend of mine. He talked about his abstention from extra-marital sex and PMO, with the reason being that ‘self-control makes a man’.

It’s an ideology I’ve heard before but tonight it struck a chord with me, I know that I don’t want to bring PMO into a marriage and a family, so now is as good a time as ever to rid myself of this burden.

 

Day 1

Feeling a lot better today in terms of relationship anxiety. No urges. Still procrastinating pretty badly, so I need to focus on getting back into rhythm with my routine.

 

Well done brother!