[3-CHALLENGE] THE THREE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 1/3

Feeling a lot better today in terms of relationship anxiety. No urges. Still procrastinating pretty badly, so I need to focus on getting back into rhythm with my routine.

 

0/3

 

Completed on Saturday, still going strong

 

Hello I want to participate. I want to climb up the ladder from 3 to 30 days challenge and beyond.

Rules for myself:

• 3 days is a good ambitious goal right now, don't pretend as if if would be an easy target
• focus on "the main target" and don't get distracted
• avoid ALL distractions by media
• plan your activities and time
• don't spend a lot of time on the forum, instead bear the challenge in your heart and take it seriously all day long
• don't underestimate triggers and risky behaviors
• Self-care: you need to learn to deal with yourself, talk with yourself
  
• believe in yourself

more text to explain the rules and make it clear to myself what has to be done

Spoiler: more text to explain the rules and make it clear to myself what has to be done

Focus on NOT LOOKING AT P/subs and NO PMO primarily. This challenge comes first. Whatever the situation I'm in, looking at porn or engaging in fishing which directly leads to porn is simple forbidden. Make it a matter of life and death. Dramatize it! Use your fantasy to find solutions. But the simplest solution of all is available at any time: just endure the pain or agitation for a while, breath and wait don't act on it. It will be over soon.
Avoiding to fantasize, masturbate or playing porn in your head - this all is important too, but it also makes it much more diffiult to succeed if you involve all these behaviors. In fact you will not progress if you stay completely clean (asexual) for a couple of days and then fall back and pmo again. This IS the vicious circle.
Instead I want to start with the most damaging: pmo and what leads directly to it. This is also an internet issue. An issue of distraction and chaos. The more you focus and do things mindfully, the better it will all work out.
Self-care and talking to oneself: this is simply practice and you need to do the work! The first step is to set boundaries and make realistic plans and integrate goals and positive feedbacks. Then you need to look out for pitfalls. Watch your thoughts and correct yourself in thoughts and actions. Help yourself out, don't just reprimand yourself. Think of higher goals and ideals but not also in a theoretical kind of mind cloud but also think about the practical implications - the why and the how of the acting but also make sure you start to act and to realize your ideas without further delay.
Think always on the best case scenario. How can you make THAT your reality, instead of such a miserable existence where procrastination and pmo and being depressed about it, or agitated, makes half of your day.

 

It's only 3 days. I can do it! It begins now. Forget about yesterday. Don't think about the future, just three days.
Act reasonable all day long. Do your duties without overdoing it, keep it simple. Enjoy what's there to enjoy. But be ok with not looking for enjoyment, not filling "the void". These are the first steps. You know excactly what you are doing and what's crucial (in theory). Now just allow yourself to do these graceful steps and don't boycott yourself.
Let it be

 

Every day counts. There are no holidays in a reboot.

• Reports every day in the evening (but just log in once a day)
• Report about triggers, urges, missteps, fishing, fantasies, masturbation, good habits and so on

This goes as long as I have internet at home anyway. Should I restrict it for a period of time I don't need to bother to visit this website. Yes, I should have internet-free days in the future!

 

Day 2/3

 

First day done.
A good day, no urges or missteps whatsoever. I slept short, felt fresh and clear but then I had some problems with approaching the work right and get into the grooving, also tiredness came up. But I somehow cared for the things at hand and so it - and let's be generous here - it was a day of some productivity. Later it became a complete social day (as planned) and very enjoyable. I did well. Now tired of course and content. How could this day had become better (without perfectionism or unrealistic expectations)? Three things:

• exercise, at best Yoga
• meditation or a simple mindful practice
• real planning (not vaguely plan the day but with pen and paper)

About planning: today was structured by some appointements so it seems not much more of planning were needed, also during the social part I couldn't plan it through in advance. However, just having more clear what your goals are, fixing it in a schedule or just a list and make yourself accountable, stick to it ... that would be good, even for today but more importantly for the days to come.

I should add that I did at least some mindful practice. It was minimal but it was there. I tend to forget that: since I know about the how and why of breath, mindfulness and so on, I'm sometimes apply it without making such a big deal out of it. So apart from more intense/ advanced forms of practice, the crucial question is, do I apply it when I need it the most?

Now I plan to watch one episode of a series. It is actually against my plan. I feel like it, but that's the only reason. I need to learn to replace these habitual needs with others, with other behavior. But maybe it's ok to be a little lash right now, as long as I know what I'm doing. It really makes a difference that I write it down now, that I make myself accountable.
In general, the first week can be similar to this day. That would be perfect! Obviously not every day will be like today but when I succeed to keep this level of demand, self-control and accountability everything will be fine. Then I can set a little higher ambition for the next week, then see if I meet them and maybe go a little harder on myself without asking too much for the first month. Christmas will come and with the new year I can go for more change.
But I said, I didn't want to think too much about the future. It's a nice idea, but we'll see ... Right now I need to be there in the present moment and give what I can. I should plan for the day and a little bit for the whole week as well. But that's about it.

See you tomorrow

 

I'm in. Day 0 / 3

 

Ok, I end this day. Looking from today yesterday was really good. Regarding nofap today was still perfect. But I let myself go, I didn't make the plan I intended, I watched a movie ... suddenly it's evening and you ask yourself: how come I have done nothing of value?
Where did I loose all that time? Mostly sitting before the screen (the back is not grateful for that).
And when I finally started with some crafty work at my home I realized I'm missing two things that I need for it.

So a little bit frustrated because of this. But meh let's go on. I accept this miserable 2nd day of my streak. Now I decided to finish this day with this post. At least I finish with all online activities. If I allow myself to have a nice evening now with myself maybe it turns out well.

Looking forward to the third day!

 

Day 0/3

 

Resetting in a three-day challenge is especially painful.
I really don't know what to do at the moment. But I reset and go on I guess.
Day 0

 

Day 1/3

 

0/3

 

Day 1/3

 

Day 0/3

 

I could vomit!
Ok, maybe not everything is so shitty as it appears to me. Probably I should be grateful and happy that some things work out, some things are good, beautiful, interesting ... and everything could be so much worse of course.

I just wish I would be able to abstain from this toxic habit and from other habits that kill my productivity, my health and so on. Is it really so impossible for me? I can't believe that and I won't accept that.

I'm sick of writing about myself and to myself to no avail!
But it can't be helped. At the moment his is the only place for me, where I can make myself accountable for pa recovery.

Anyway, this is a new start. One day is already over. While I write this I'm laying in bed already. I took the device with me in bed and so if I hadn't make a new resolution I would definitely pmo again, although I did it already yesterday and the day before. It's not difficult now to make one day without but at least I can say, that actively recovering makes a little difference.

I admit, it's actually very little and that's my problem. I can abstain now, then and then during the afternoon and again in the night. It works on many occasions. But it is simply not enough to make even a small streak.

Let's count the days. Then it will be two days with ease and with enough care I will reach three in the blink of an eye.

 

Day 0

 

It's going to be alright. The fact that you are here means you are willing to make a positive change in your life.

 

Day 2/3