The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 119!

3rd day of cold shower. This time I did it when I woke up, about one minute.

 

Starting now after an unfortunate relapse last night. Nazgûl rank but we all have to start somewhere!

 

Checking in! Prayer,workout, Meditation,nutrition studies and singing psalms!

 

Looking to join the fellowship! I'm on day 7 of being pmo-free.

 

Checking in. All good

 

Day 59

I've thought your message my friend. My instagram account is very clean, I only follow my friends and meme pages. I've never thinked about bedroom fun etc. Basically, I've never done anything to put my progress at risk. However, I watch tv-series from netflix which has some sex scenes in, maybe that kind of things trigger wet dreams, but I believe it's a big maybe.

 

581 days semen retention

 

Escort neighbor
My new neighbor is a high class escort a beautiful read head she is just some days in the country to get plastic surgery, she invited me to her house, I brought some food, chill and we had sex. I didn't pay her.

She is just too beautiful.

I also went on a date with a very beautiful girl after seeing my neighbor. It was one of the best dates I had I think sex gave me a boost so my mind was sharp I talked about very interesting subjects. I'm seeing her today too.

 

3 dates
Today I have three dates with three different girls, I think the energy from my ex is finally off me. I'm more free.

Also 3 days ago I said no to a supermodel looking girl to have sex because I felt her vibe was similar to my ex, in the sense of bad in sex I asked her and she kind of confessed she wasn't very good at sex so meaning bad sex.

After saying no to this girl something happened many girls want to be with me, that I'm not even mentioning. Because if I had sex with this girl it would have been like continuing with the same type of girl my ex is.

 

Welcome bro !It's like a marathon and you start as an uruk-hai!

 

21 days

 

17 - Hobbit, getting closer to Bree

Also as I am at the same time struggling to maintain/develop some other daily habits and noticed that this forum helps a lot with that I would love to try status update some other checks which I am battling with:
Workout - Check
ColdShower - Check
NoAlcohol - Check
HealthyDiet - Check
Learning - Check
NoYoutube - Check
SideProject - Fail

 

I am in! Day 0

 

Relapsed. I had a couple close calls, I was having to fight the urge to go fishing for triggers multiple times but unfortunately once it got really late and I got really tired, I let my guard down. Although, I'm starting to use the seasonal depression and relationship anxiety as an excuse to relapse. I'm just not really trying to distract myself at all, it's not that I don't have things to distract myself with, I'm simply not doing them for some reason even though I'm screaming at myself to distract myself even in the moment when I have the urge, but my body just doesn't want to cooperate with me.
On the plus side, I started a Minecraft playthrough with a group of friends because a really big update came out for the game. And my relationship anxiety is feeling much better today.

 

Day 2...
Yep, I relapsed again. Entered this one-week vacation expecting to finnaly get to rest, but I decided to go to work with my father. I went because I wanted to, but I see that I made a mistake, because I needed rest and I didn't give it to myself. I got home and the tiredness made it really difficult to resist the urges, which were strong as hell, along side with the self pity feeling that I had in the moment... the bad thing happenned. But let's do it again...

 

Day 6

The longest I’ve gone without relapsing over the past 10 months has typically been between 6-9 days, so naturally today was a bit of a struggle!

Saw a photo of my ex-girlfriend that stirred up some sadness and regret, but after about an hour these feelings subsided and I was left with the urge to relapse - thankfully I remained strong, and the distraction of being amongst friends was a blessing.

 

Day 291

 

Day 6

Had a conversation with an ignorant person earlier. I don't know what to say about it... I guess I'll just let them do them and I'll do me.

 

Day 3 complete.

Today was a beautiful day. I really ought to have gone running, but since I went swimming yesterday and my routine is to work out every other day, getting some outdoor exercise didn't even cross my mind until it was too late.

I had some thoughts earlier about worrying. As long as we're always caught up in fear about when the next urge will come, and how we have to constantly be on our guard against this looming future struggle, we're going to have a very tough time against the urges. It's a bit of a paradox. We do so many things to improve ourselves as people and to increase our ability to fight against PMO, but I don't think it's a good idea to do them only for the sake of avoiding PMO. We should want to do things like exercise or eat/sleep better or learn a new language because they're good for us, and we want to get rid of PMO because it's good for us, and it's a very happy coincidence that those things align. Knowing exactly what to do to fight an urge is super important, but we can't go around all the time with those things at the front of our brains because that will only invite tough urges. It's hard, it takes time and practice, but in my opinion we ought to be able to jump very quickly back and forth between "battle mode" and simply going about our days.

@BloomWasTaken The instinct to immediately distract ourselves is a position we need to take very carefully. If we simply push our urges away or bury them, odds are they'll come back stronger later. It's important to find healthy ways to acknowledge and confront our urges. That can take the form of breathing exercise/meditation, talking it out with an accountability partner, or doing some pushups to burn the energy. Stuff like that.

 

Choosing the girl, sexual balance.
I just came back from the last date of the day, I had scheduled 3 different dates with 3 different girls.

I invited the last girl to eat in these new Hungarian ice cream chop which I took the other date too. The ice cream lady just looked at me and laughed in a discrete way it was a good moment between us haha.

I must say this girl, the last date is smart and it's the best talk I had with a girl in my life. I thought I was very fluid yesterday because I had sex but I realiced today it wasn't that, because the other date I had today it wasn't as fluid. So the only variable is the girl. We have chemistry for talking which I never had before, we are very different but somehow she likes who I am and what I talk, I feel I can be me. Also she is attractive and we have chemistry.

The other girl even do attractive, she is very sweet and easy going, femenine. I don't feel such strong connection or chemistry. But she is a special girl.

My heart, body and mind goes for the girl I have strong chemistry in talking and attraction but she seems a difficult girl, domineering and can have a temper. She hasn't fully showed it but it's there.

I'll have to think about it and discuss it with my father. Also the idea of dating permanently multiple girls seems so boring and stressful it's just not fun I don't want to worry and make up lies. I don't want to put that much energy into sex. Also it creates a bad vibe if I happen to hurt the girls. One girl is enough.

The third date, well it was these beautiful escort neighbor. She is calling and texting me right now, I told her I won't be able to make it. Enough sex already, now let's make it more normal with some feelings involved.