1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Purpose of Amendment

For Fapstronauts of the Catholic Christian Faith

  1. I'm starting this thread for those Catholics who are looking to end this addiction and haven't become clear about how to do that.

    I think it comes down to this. Your Purpose of Amendment. Are you confessing badly? I mean are you going to confession over and over about PMO? In the research I've done and the priests I've spoken to, stop confessing your addiction. For a sin to be mortal, it needs to be an act of the will. You know it's wrong, yet you still do it. The argument could be made that we know it's wrong and still acting it, but there's clear science that this is a classic addiction, which lessens the culpability of the will.

    The part that becomes sinful is how you deal with your addiction. Are you part of a program that is helping you deal with the addiction? If you haven't taken concrete steps to deal with the addiction, then you are in a state of mortal sin. At least that's the advice that I have been given.

    So.... I'm back here. I haven't used this forum for awhile and I keep thinking I can do this alone. Over 35 years this scourge has been a part of my life. I haven't taken concrete steps, though to truly reform my life. Why..... I believe because of a weak Purpose of Amendment. Do you REALLY want God to defeat this demon? Or would you like to keep feeding your concupiscence? Do I fast and make reparations? Somewhat, but not very seriously. Do I read Sacred Scripture for at least 15 min/day, no. Do I pray the Rosary daily... no. Do I turn to God, My Lord and Saviour, or the Blessed Virgin in my dark times.... nope.

    So then that begs the question..... "How firm is my purpose of amendment?" Do I want to grow closer to Christ? Do I want to be as close as I can to Our Blessed Mother? Do I want to alleviate the suffering of the souls in purgatory? Do I want to live an authentic Catholic life and grow in the light of my faith?

    Can I share this humiliation (a sign of humility - the only thing the devil can't imitate) with others? Not at the moment. Covenant eyes is one of the best things for stopping, but I cut that out almost immediately after signing up for it. Can I allow others to see my browser history... no way. What if the world knew of my sins? I don't think about it, because if I did I would have to stop.... see how we talk ourselves into this?

    Now that I recognize my sin, and I've named the demon, I believe I can start to deal with it. Lose the shame and gird up your loins. For many of us this is the fight of our lives.
     
  2. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

    1,880
    6,224
    143
    Indeed, the fight for our immortal soul, nothing less is the case. We are the fortunate few that are not among the millions who choose to ignore God and ignore their sinful ways. Those poor wretched souls! Millions of souls who have chosen hell over heaven, hopelessness over hope, selfishness over love. It was the burden of that sadness that caused Jesus the greatest pain during His passion.
     
  3. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

    872
    1,382
    123
    Lots of truth here although I think maybe it's better to confess the sin even if it's not mortal. It's because we can't be sure how much our personal pmo acts are 'lessened' - I mean we can commit venial sins and venial sins can be confessed. Confession is a Sacrament of healing too - we can confess the pmo sin knowing that it's not a mortal one, lessened one but counting on healing grace given to us when we admit in confession what hurts us. Second, we don't know exactly where ends a venial sin (in doing pmo) and where begins a grave one. It can be difficult to measure if we really have taken concrete steps to deal with the addiction. But on the other hand many are very worried that they do pmo even if they try it hard not to do it and they think that they have full responsibility and full possibility to omit the sin which is not true. So they add another very heavy burden on themselves.
    We should pray for the grace of a firm purpose of amendment. It's like praying for final perserverance until our last second in this world. All is grace when we talk about sanctification because real amendment is a process of becoming a saint. it's only another, non theological term. When our purpose of amendment is week, fake we should pray and who prays they will be given. It's sure.
     
  4. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

    1,880
    6,224
    143
    I must echo MrEko's words (sorry, I couldn't resist the pun). The line between mortal sin and venial sin isn't always clear and in such cases, it is for God to judge, not us.

    The devil makes empty promises to us about the attractiveness of sin and after we have committed it, he further corrupts our mind with shame. If we let this go on to its extreme, the shame builds to self-loathing and that can lead to suicide. A complete, thorough and honest confession is a little hard to do but the benefits are huge. Confession brings relief from the incredibly oppressive shame that goes with sin and God's absolution clears away the barriers to realizing the incredible love He has for us. When I get a glimpse of His immense love for me, I am consumed with a desire to love Him better than I ever have in the past. Don't hold back, confess it all and immediately reap the rewards of freedom.
     
    Reb10, Keli and Untamed_fantasy like this.

  5. But in the words of St. Alphonsus Liguori, are you treating confession like a revolving door? Are you going, saying you will amend your life, only to be back asking for forgiveness of the sin you said last time you would stop? If you look upon it, that's what your doing. Whereas, if you say, Father I have not dealt with this addiction as I know I should have... I have not fasted, I have not made reparations, I have not gained an accountability partner.... (or other steps you need to quit or deal with the addiction) then you are only lying to yourself and God as you have no plan or purpose to quit. At least, once again that's what I concluded with the help of reading and priests.
     
  6. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

    1,880
    6,224
    143
    Once, I fell prey to the idea that if I was truly sorry for my sins, as is required for a good confession, I would stop committing them. Consequently, I stayed away from confession for 3 years. When I finally went, the priest asked me why I had stayed away so long and I explained my reasons to him. He chided me saying "you know better than that".

    You are right, we would be foolish and sinful to treat the holy sacrament of confession like a "get out of jail free" card. We need to be truly sorry for our sins and we need to find ways and means to stop committing them. Prayer is essential, fasting is extremely helpful. However, breaking an addiction almost always takes some time with some failures as well as some successes.

    The devil wants you to feel shame after your sin. He hopes you will become so despondent that you give up trying. Don't let the bastard win.
     
  7. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

    872
    1,382
    123
    If it were as you described above then such a confession would be invalid. Some priests in Poland call it washing dirty clothes and knowing that soon after the wash some one can sin again. I agree with you - one must make some decisions and they must be something real and definite. In fact, I don't know what better is - not to tell about the pmo sins during confession (knowing that they are venial in case one is addicted and does something definite to get rid of it ) or to tell them ( but many take pmo guilt to such a high degree that they are devastated and it's very difficult for them to mentally leave the circle of constant thinking about all what concerns pmo and fighting pmo - as a result they aren't focused on another very important areas of life). Maybe the choice should be done individually being led by a priest who can objectively judge the individual case.
     
    Reb10 and Keli like this.
  8. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

    1,880
    6,224
    143
    Sounds like the wisest advice of all. Thank you Mr. Eko. As always, I learn something useful when I read your posts.
     
    Keli likes this.
  9. Thank you to everyone on this thread. I truly appreciate my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for your responses. They have given me much to consider. I agree. Where does the venial stop and the mortal begin. I will continue to confess this. I'm thinking out the process as I don't seem to want to quit this addiction very badly. Yeah, I feel the shame and loathing afterward and promise that it's going to be the last time, only to fall again. As I have only learned about the sinfulness of this in the last few years, I now consider this the one characteristic of my life I need to change. As I want to grow in my faith, I see PMO as a major roadblock to that. Mortifying the body isn't something I've ever considered before and the "firm purpose of amendment" seems to go out the window when I enter the craving mode. Especially when I'm tired, stressed, bored.... etc. This whole situation most of us are in has also made things worse. I now see the way I deal with life's issues is to PMO instead of turning to the My Lord and Saviour, The Blessed Virgin and/or St. Joseph (terror of demons). Pleas pray for me as I will for all of you.
     
  10. JoeXavier

    JoeXavier Fapstronaut

    44
    73
    18
    To be honest, I've always had thoughts of suicide when it gets really overwhelming, but knowing that suicide is just a grave or graver sin than my addiction holds me back. Also remembering Judas Iscariot, I'm terrified by the prospect.
     

Share This Page