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Tonight, I have wittnessed attempted rape

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by she-dernatinus, Dec 4, 2021.

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  1. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    First we were talking about rape and now we're talking about harrassment.

    The thing is, women will always be attractive to men even while fully clothed, it's just biology.

    You say it's sexual harrassment, that's your interpretation on the matter, women like attention from men but only from those they like.

    I think you're just calling every instance of unwanted attention and interaction between a man and a woman harrassment which isn't true.

    A man might hit on a woman, if she likes the guy she'll be ok with it but that same attention becomes bothersome from someone she doesn't like.

    He might not understand she's not interested because she tries to be nice about it so he keeps pursuing, so in many cases it's just miscommunication going on.
     
  2. PatrickBasedman

    PatrickBasedman Fapstronaut

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    Agreed in principle, but in reality sex is absolutely about power dynamics. Something doesn't need to be inherently aggressive or harmful to be based in power dynamics. On a basic biological/anthropological level, it is the man's role to dominate, and the woman's role to submit. I don't mean this in a chauvinistic way, just in the objective mechanics of the sexual exchange. Obviously this does not always apply in those exact terms, nor does it apply throughout the animal kingdom.

    When I say precautions, I don't mean women should dress different per se. I mean precautions such as learning self defense, maybe even, in places where this is legal (Based Murica) carrying a weapon. If society is so dangerous for women then surely any and all precautions should be made to mitigate that danger, as opposed to merely complaining that it's dangerous?

    This is where the naivete is coming in I feel. Talking about these other cultures is purely hypothetical and abstract, because we don't live in those cultures and never, ever will. I also seriously doubt sexual crimes never occur in these places, that is borderline unfeasible. Rape and sexual assault are primitive urges and will always exist in some people no matter what we do. Indeed, while you are correct that socialization can stop these urges in most people, you cannot stop the problem entirely. The urge to sexually dominate someone else is a violent, caveman desire. Same as wanting to get physically violent with someone over something they did to you. How do you expect to realistically curb these urges in every man and woman who is born? I'd argue that you can't.
     
  3. determined99

    determined99 Fapstronaut

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    You know exactly a male sex addict's mind, I like your attitude.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2021
    she-dernatinus likes this.
  4. Da Victi

    Da Victi Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it's definitely a question of culture. Not only biology. Humanity and cultures - you can't seperate these two.
    However I don't know about these central Asian cultures (though it's interesting). But what has that to do with what happened in your neighbourhood?

    If this is correct, it doesn't mean it wasn't accurate what I said. Look, you don't go to an AA meeting just to tell the others how alcohol is bad and how many traffic accidents and murders have happened under alcohol-influence.

    But maybe it's good for us addicts, if we are confronted with such drastic examples from time to time. Not to feel guilty or responsible for the deeds of criminals but to question our own behavior and way of thinking.
    From my perspective, this is a lot about boundaries. What are (were) my boundaries? How do I respect them and make sure I'm not consuming repulsive highly abusive content? The problem is the habituation. If we are used to extreme content / fantasies, how do we get back?
    Also there's this dilemma: it should be no porn - abstinence and rebooting is what we want. But when we snap and relapse how to make sure we don't break all the boundaries again and even look for novelties that are on the more extreme spectrum.

    By the way, three things to your information, @she-dernatinus :

    1. escalation doesn't necessarily mean more extreme, more fetish, more violence. I think the word "novelty" describes the best what the brain is looking for.

    2. the addiction isn't constant escalation. It also builds routines. I think the longer one is addicted the more this person will have set fixed routines for the pmo sessions - you go to certain old places, look for certain things that you get off before. It can be a fetish, a fantasy scenario, a person (performer) or just a memory of a detail that is connected in your brain to a rush of dopamine or adrenalin.

    3. to fully understand the addiction you need to understand that it's not primarily sexual. Rather it's all about dopamine. That's the reason why many addicted young guys lack social and sexual activity and interest in real life. When the brain (or its reward system) learns that rewards from real world activities (like approaching a potential partner) are hard to get while they are easily available during an internet sessions, why should it bother to improve socially? We push a button and we get a reward, then we get addicted. That's the whole story in a nutshell. Compare it to a gambling addiction. Is the content of a slot machine repulsive and morally wrong?
    I'm only telling you all this, to point out the core of the addiction. Of course our behavior has moral implications. And we shouldn't run away from responsibility. That's one of the things we addicts need to learn.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2021
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  5. PatrickBasedman

    PatrickBasedman Fapstronaut

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    The classic meme "There are no women on the internet" was not intended to be literal. Rather, it was supposed to illustrate that with the anonymity that the internet provides people will be treated equally regardless of gender or any other physical factor. The only judgement will be made on the quality of one's arguments. Sad to see this is clearly no longer the case.

    This happened long before I joined but I have spoken to some users about an incident on here where a completely new user joined, spun an elaborate web about them being the victim of sexual assault, and led dozens of users on for weeks. Then when it became obvious the story was fabricated, and called out, people were banned and the entire story swept under the rug. Now I'm not saying OP is doing this, she's a long-time user and I believe her story. But it ties back to what I said originally, it's way too easy to make shit up and just have people blindly believe it. It's especially easy if you involve "protected" classes in the story because then people will be afraid to call it out, even if it is nonsense.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2021
  6. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    And how about you provide me with the answers to the questions regarding the situations of women's harassment in both Egypt and Morocco ?

    I also have a lot of questions surrounding you specifically, how is it all your occurences within the forum only contain bragging about how men are visual and that women are also faulty of their own situation ?

    How is it you always evade responding when I ask you to elaborate more on the arousal you certainly experience with PMO, after each time repeating 'men are more visual' like a broken record ?
     
  7. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    Is this your honest opinion my friend ?
     
  8. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    If you really want a logical discussion, then how about you answer the questions directed at you ?

    Instead of throwing random accusations at others. I can't think of any better form of drama than the long list of accusations you spit angrily with your soliloquy.

    Supposing you are a female of course. How do the 'scientific evidences' you love so much align with your situation ? how do you explain that you are a 'female' aroused with sexual imagery ?
     
  9. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    The only ones violating the rules are those providing rape apologism. Not the one calling them out for it.
     
  10. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    I seriously think your account is way too weird. Since all your responses include 'men are more visual bla bla' and nothing else. No personal experiences with your female body, no struggling with your female lust, no reference to the implications of ovulation, menstruation.
    Unlike the rest of female members, including me.

    I think no one can blame me for being doubtful...

    Instead of assessing a list of the traits that makes you oppose me, I think my points concerning you are worthy of clarification
    .
     
  11. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    For asking you important questions you were not willing to answer ?
     
  12. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    I think you should do a detailed research, those matriarchal societies exist in this era. And received enough attention from anthropologists, spoke with the Individuals native to these cultures, this is why they discovered they have no word for rape.
     
  13. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    They also have no record of homosexuality. Unlike other cultures. Those cultures have no record of sexual offenses as well, hence they had no reason to invent a specific word to refer to it.
     
  14. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    The perceptions they have aren't abstract at all. Since anthropologists were really interested in them, and were more than eager to explore them.

    And don't forget they still exist even today.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2021
  15. PatrickBasedman

    PatrickBasedman Fapstronaut

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    You're missing my point. YOU discussing these cultures so much is abstract. There might be a lot to learn from this culture, but more than likely very little to apply to an existing one. They have no word for rape? So what? All other cultures do, so what difference does it make? They exist in a matriarchal society? So what? Presumably you don't, so again, what difference does it make? Very little that I can see to be honest. Learning about this culture might be interesting from an anthropological perspective, but practically what are we learning from them than can inform our own cultures?
     
    It is Finished likes this.
  16. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    Bro you are too kind and miss the most important fact, there is a reason those cultures are barely 30.000 individuals, while the other ones thrived into billions, they simply suck as a culture.
     
  17. PatrickBasedman

    PatrickBasedman Fapstronaut

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    That too lmao. Say what you like about muh patriarchy but it clearly works.
     
  18. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    Because small communities don't have records of sexual abuse ?
    Their numbers exceed 30 000 people, they are at least 76 000. And I don't care about how you evaluate them, as long as they present more interesting traits to me.
     
  19. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

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    It depends on how you calculate success. It's obvious you would like patriarchy, coming from you it's not surprising. What would surprise me instead, is for you have less selfish demeanor.
     
  20. PatrickBasedman

    PatrickBasedman Fapstronaut

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    How am I being selfish?
     

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