The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 17!
My mind is like "always want to rest", when I'm focused on something, something like urges start in my body. Trying to manage that becouse I need to be focused in what I'm doing.

 

Keep going on and your brainpower will surely recover !

 

Congratulations Gandalf

 

Day 13 - Mostly just gonna be working today but later in the evening I'll be seeing a movie and getting dinner with my grandparents so I'm looking forward to that. I'll need to make sure I continue to take breaks throughout the day and express my needs. If someone can't meet my needs that's totally okay but I think a big source of my resentment is towards myself for not sharing my needs and wants in the first place.

 

Congrats Bro, I salute you!
Hoping that some Day I also become Wizard, yet for the time being Hobbit is OK too I guess.

 

There is still time! Hobbit is good, and is way better than many, that don't even try or think about at least trying just to see what happens.

 

Yeah buddy!

 

Thank you! thank you! It's good to be back!

 

Congratulations! The force is with you! Wrong movie reference, but equally true

 

You keep! And you're doing pretty well for what I can tell!

 

May it be, for I just remembered that I have a scratch ticket to celebrate, that I brought when I started!

 

1 day. Long and busy day today, first work and then working on a music project with some friends Still trying to take it easy after the relapse though.

1. Stay accountable. Done
2. Physical exercise. Done (light exercise, e.g. walking through the city to visit my friend )
3. Qigong or meditation. Done
4. Eating in moderation. Done
5. Study about the reboot. Done

 

Good call man - I should do the same - here's a list of consequences I've seen from PMO over the years:

• Physical harm
  • Rapid aging - literally looking like a wraith after PMO
  • Kidneys lose their energy, so I get lower back pains for weeks after
  • More susceptible to muscle, ligament, tendon, injuries after PMO
  • Immune system defence completely down, compromising its ability to fight
    • colds, flus, viral or bacterial infections
    • fungal infections e.g. Candidia, athletes foot, thrush, IBS
    • leading to bad breath
  • Severe Dark Rings under the eyes
  • Grinding teeth during sleep due to the constant frustration PMO causes
  • Though there is no scientific proof of this, it is just my personal experience, I have met many older (40s-50s) P addicts with cataracts, eye growths, etc...
    • I get bad floaters in my eyes after binging and once they were so bad they started pulling at the retina in my eye and I had to go to the hospital to get them checked out
    • My previous Boss (in his 50s) has cataracts and he is a self confessed P addict with no intention of stopping
    • I visited the red light district in Tokyo years ago and this big african american guy wanted to show me around and he had bad cataracts
    • Also went to a s shop in another district elsewhere years later and the jamaican guy behind the counter had cataracts
    • Hand on heart I have not gone to places like this more than a handful of times, so it is even stranger that I have seen so many people with those eye problems

• Harm to my job
  • Less able to take on new projects or tasks, preferring to hide away from the world, which does not reflect well in my job
  • Irritability bordering on rage 3-4 days after PMO which has endangered my job on a few occasions
  • Exponentially more stress leading to bad eating & sleep habits, leading to more stress, etc...

• Psychological/ Behavioural
  • Projecting blame of my mal estar onto others
  • Cynicism
    
  • Running away from my own pain
  • Arguments with my family
  • Unable to muster the motivation to pick myself up. So I fall into very negative behaviours like getting accelerated, arrogance, vanity, aggression...
  • All this negativity then attracts negativity from others especially those close to me
  • Ultimately depression, frustration, feeling of being trapped
  • Unable to see women as just human beings - see them either as godesses, which inflates their vanity and is harmful to them, or as objects, which crushes their self-esteem and is also clearly very harmful

• Soul
  • Drastically reduced interest in matters of the soul, questioning my faith and beliefs etc...
  • Skimp on practises
  • Grow distant from community
  • Set a bad example for others
  • Zero ability to feel gratitude

And that is not even considering the very real dangers when you fall, like the urge to seek ever more novel content. Like how far away is any P site from seriously twisted shit? one or two clicks? Is that what we want to become, is that what we want our lives to be? Really?

There is nothing compassionate in P, nothing loving, nothing truly human, it is all just a horror show of people on the highway to hell, exploitation, violence, drug addiction, suicide, human trafficking, like poor people in developing countries doing depraved inhumane shit to themselves and their families for the pleasure of perverted people in western society willing to pay - this is the industry, the world, we support when we look at P, we are that world when we look at P, we are its consumers, we feed the Beast with our money then our eyes then our manhood then our humanity and ultimately our souls.

This is real. We are living this nightmare.

Question is do we want to grasp the branch that this quest provides and pull ourselves out of this nightmare, free ourselves, change our world, free its slaves, and save our souls? or do we stay in this sickly sweet stinking swamp of sadness, torturously dragging us down into a never-ending death?

 

Day 90! After work! As I just remembered That I have a scratch lottery ticket that I bought on Day one, that I would allow myself to scratch only in day 90, but I might leave it more... To be continued.
TLDR: Currently in a game, will wait to see what roll do I get out of it later!

 

23- Hobbit, continuing that record streak

I’ve done today ton of gratitude-looks like there is lots of stuff to be grateful which is nice.
After fighting some laziness and digging myself out from usual stuff I finally just finished some advanced course which kinda psychologically blocked from moving side project.

If you have any useful tips/insights related to flatline I would appreciate sharing those for sure.

—Side Quests—
Workout - Check
ColdShower - Check
HealthyDiet - Check
Learning - Check
SideProject - Fail
Gratitude - Check
NoAlcohol - Check
NoYoutube - Check

 

Cheer up bro ! There is still a hope
from Psalm 37:
4Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will do it. 6He will bring forth your righteousness like the dawn, your justice like the noonday sun

 

Checking-in day 25. Some studies, some prayer, some walking and some memories of an old sin i had quite forgotten about.

 

-"Come one mister Frodo, i already see the entrance! Just endure a little more and our mission will be over! And we will be back at home in no time!"

 

Day 12

Been feeling unnaturally low today, made it difficult to focus on lectures at college. Thankfully this was temporary as I had a lovely Christmas dinner with my college peers and had a brilliant evening of karaoke and general shenanigans - had mild urges throughout the day but was saved by reminders of what a true Christian relationship is, can’t wait to reach the Shire!

 

Checking in. Nice to see such positivity in today’s posts.