35 and older accountability, Group 2

That sounds like a good approach. PIED will improve but it takes longer to get mind to behave and react to normal relationships.

 

luckily i have all the time in the world… i would assume that it is easier to heal the body than the mind… i went to a hypnotherapist few years ago. Might go and see him again to somehow ask his help to remove the mindset that sex is scary…

 

Hope you gentlemen are well! Just wanna share a couple of thoughts. My perspective on NoFap has changed over time from a 'do not' mindset where there is the pressure of negation and denial, to a 'do' mindset which is based on the impetus of realizing my highest potential. We can approach the issue from either the perspective of negation, or affirmation. I think there's value to the 'thou shalt not' approach but its limited. Instead, I feel that embracing my sexual energy, and walking around with an integrated sexual charge is far more valuable than constantly fighting it. This requires relaxing into the body and enjoying the aliveness that comes with feeling urges and sexual energy in general. Make it a friend rather than a foe. It's only a problem when you make it a problem. The key is to utilize and channel that energy rather than fighting it or acting upon it in self-sabotaging ways. Perhaps I'm preaching to the choir with these thoughts so I'll stop! Hope you all have a great day. Stay strong, stay hard!

 

Just a update. I am on Day 64 with no PMO. Around day 60, the urges hit me hard. I am thankful to God He helped me get past them. I realized again today how much better my life is without PMO. I have so much more energy, my relationship with my wife is better, my mind is so much more clear, and I am so much more productive. I haven't done any real bodybuilding for close to 10 years. I plan to get started back very soon. I hope you are all staying strong and doing well!

 

I have heard this many times from people with success. Thank you for the reminder.

I’ve been doing really good this week. Busy, focused on my wife, taking self care time as I need it, if an urge comes, I open door or go for walk so I’m not alone. I keep reaffirming how much I love my wife and how much I want to stay sober for her. I’m also sharing with her my success. She gave me a high five for these 9 days and that felt good.

 

Checking in here. I've done better in the past than I am now. I'm continuing to work on this.

 

Checking in today, somehow the urges appears again when i'm not doing anything. Gotta keep myself busy :\

 

I feel in alignment to what you shared, I am realizing fighting something is not the right way. It is to be seen, experienced, understood and transcended in its own ways not by our egos.

I am going through a new phase of opening myself to sexuality and women. I noticed there is this fear in me of intimacy with a women of all the things it will bring up. I realized that my souls journey is not a comfortable one, but as I become willing to be uncomfortable a new level of joy and freedom is shown and in the process i am becoming more integrated.

So for the next while i am allowing myself honest transparent conversion about sex.

I am now admitting to myself that what i deeply feel inspired to is sexual intimacy with openness honesty and without attachment. I have had some women come to me and I have pushed them away because I was labeling them as not good enough and not wise enough and not this and that, because i had in mind i want to be in this idealized perfect relationship, which after 5 yrs i am considering, may be that is just a fantasy?

and so i am opening myself to being with whatever may come and letting go of my mental rules and trusting myself.

 

I have been reading Mark Nepo’s As Far as the Heart Can See and it’s parables are helping me reflect on deeper issues in my life and connect with my inner spirituality more. I’m at 12 days. I really want to get to 14.

 

I would like to join the group. Thanks!

 

Still here and a part of this.

 

I slipped today. I used my work computer which is high risk. I felt bored and wanted pleasure. I chose to do it though the smarter thing would have been to escape.

 

Congrats!

 

18 days still hanging in.

 

Day 16, Maybe.

Days 6-10 days felt great, so much better then the low. The last 4-5 four days I have not been able to get any sleep. I had full morning wood last Friday, but not in the 5 or so days since. I am angry all the time — real stuff boiling up inside my chest, lots of anger at familial trauma and abuse and disrespect that Ive already worked through a dozen times in therapy over the years, but the energy of it is still in my system. I just feel so angry. At life and how it keeps unfolding. And, people who refuse to own and acknowledge the repercussions of their actions. I have a pretty emotionally illiterate birth family. And, my anxiety has been so fucking high. It seems to just keep building by the day — working out, meditation, a cold shower, glass of wine etc. aren't really helping it at all..... it just keeps mounting..... Maybe I need to socialize a bit. Not really sure what to do. This used to happen from day 14 onward when I pursued nofap back in 2017/2018 and to me this means a lot of these inner-things are what push me towards "relief". I kinda think I need help.

 

Day 71. I am very excited to be this far along in my journey.

 

Checking in to this group. Have gone for 24 days without watching any risque material at all even on Youtube. So far so good. I manage to keep a healthy routine to my sleep schedule, workout and go hiking often and manage to stay away from most urges so far. Hope to make it beyond the 45 day mark asap!

 

Cant believe I am almost to 60 Days!

 

my fleshlight arrived finally, and decided to give it a try whether i have recovered from death grip or not (might also have to mention that i was totally drunk as well). So happy to say that after 45 days of no PMO i believe its so much much much more better. While i have no idea whether it can be said that i've recovered or not since i haven't really felt how its supposed to really feel during intercourse.

regarding PIED, i honestly have no idea how to test it. Even with the fleshlight without P its still hard for me to keep it up and going. I guess the only thing that i can do is to keep on doing this and hope after long enough the brain can really fix itself...

 

23 days, still hanging in.