I feel extremely empty

I really do feel sad for your generation. It majorly sucks that we have to obey a mandate for Masks and dumbed down celebrations. I can relate to not having a social life out side of work since like you and me it's 40 hours a week. But one thing I have done and has helped is work on relationships with co workers. I've meditated allot as a medication to calm my mind from sadness, tension, or stress. Another thing to do is start working out. Do push ups at home and try and knock out 50 + a day. You will feel a heck of a difference.

Along of the lines with your mom hounding you on the Vaccine. Don't stress on her to much at all. She is trying to protect you as a mother and that's why she's possibly so critical with you. You can choose to let it bother you or ignore it, get it if you want to. She can't decide your beliefs, we can make our own decisions. My year of 2020 was horrible as well so I understand your concerns.


I would suggest gaming or finding a hobby that'll keep your mind occupied and focused. I'm a rhythm game gamer and I don't regret any time I've wasting playing them. Maybe try speaking a new language, been using Duolingo for Japanese, perfect free site and all you have to do is sign up.

Pray. Have faith and trust in your prayers.

Pray for clarity.
Pray for freedom.
Pray for health.
Pray for your family's happiness.

I always keep these four in mind while I pray.

To be fairly honest. When hasn't a vaccine had effects on people? I get my flue shot yearly and my arm feels like it's been punched. Hope some of this has helped you. Just know your not alone, many people have had shitty 2020's. We gotta build our self's back up

 

All of the following might require an abnormal sense of desperation as fuel for at least 1.5 months discipline.

Brainwash yourself to become impervious to misfortune. (Nimja.com)
Train the body to harden the mind.
Learn holotropic breathwork. (Troy Casey)
First, aim for not holding yourself back before striving for 'progress'

Become capable of predicting the future by understanding human nature through the reading of auto-biographies or podcasts.

We live in an era where it's very much accessible to live many lifetimes in a single one. Make smart use of fiction and your psyche will mature exponentially faster than your biology. Fiction is distilled reality since it amounts the most interesting noteworthy aspects and leaves the fodder aside.

 

I'd like to tell you something to help you, but I have nothing to say.
Just that I know how you feel.
I am having a similar case. I finished university and hadn't yet had a formal graduation (we had like a party but it for 3 generations so I wasn't able to be with my career partners). It was difficult to find professional practices but finally got them and conclude them. I am not having a good relation neihter with my father nor my mother. With my mother, whom with I live, she doesn't helps me when I am down (I mean really sad, no motivation, no strength to do anything) instead she blames me and don't even asks what I have becuase she fears I may get angry , but also she complains that I don't comunicate with her, so... that is not congruent. With my father he lastly has been bipolar with me (he hasn't lived with us since more than 10 years) sometimes telling me I have enough capabilities to face the challenges, other times telling me I am a coward, not man enough and stuff like that.
I've been been having leagal issues because of the divorce.
I've been searching for a job for about 4 months and I have an offer in another state, but I am not sure of moving, çause I'll be leaving my place and it is going to take me more time to get financiallly stable.