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The myth of "rewiring"

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by clapas, Dec 17, 2021.

  1. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    You have been addicted to PMO and as a result your life was on the verge of being destroyed. Now you decided to quit PMO but you still miss the high of horniness so you buy into the term "rewiring." You can deceive yourself but you won't deceive me: you are still an addict and your "rewiring" is going to keep pumping the drug of sex into your brain. This is not the way of healing.

    Just saying...
     
    OhWhenThe, Beekind and Randy Andy like this.
  2. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    If you mean sex instead of PMO, for many people a healthy sex life instead of PMO is actually the goal they are reaching for. I don't see how it automatically makes them an "addict".
     
  3. We can mince words all day long.....it's hard work, consistent hard work and patience...riding the waves and holding on for dear life!
     
  4. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    A healthy sex life comes after you are healed.
     
    AED and NutMaster777 like this.
  5. An0nym0use1234

    An0nym0use1234 Fapstronaut

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    I kinda agree with OP, it's not like you're going to will away years of habit formation in a few weeks. Of course we'll still be "addicted" to porn, ie after a few weeks of no PMO, yeah we'll still think about it as it was our main method of escape and easy pleasure.

    I think we just got to figure out how to replace the time we'd spend PMOing with something more productive. Like going to the gym, or talking with family, studying, or working on a hobby or side hustle.
     
    Force Majeure, Kitos and clapas like this.
  6. Can you tell us what then is the way of healing?
     
  7. NutMaster777

    NutMaster777 Fapstronaut

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    Is that an internal dialogue? You feel like you’ve been deceiving yourself? Because if not, how can you point at others while you yourself maintain a 500 days streak?

    I mean, what you are saying is that people don’t change, so that the only way of improving your thoughts would be by repressing them, hence, not changing them at all. I don’t buy that, I think one can replace an obsession with a passion.
     
  8. Iamdone1997

    Iamdone1997 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think he did 500 days.
     
  9. oldgoat14

    oldgoat14 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, please elaborate. I'm not following how neuroplasticity is a "myth".
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2021
  10. redskins2015

    redskins2015 Fapstronaut

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    The human body, especially the brain, has a strong ability to “reset” and go back to how it originally was intended to function. Will just stopping PMO make that happen, I don’t think so…since PMO may have resulted in mental issues of anxiety, excessive dopamine coming from artificial sources, and etc….equally important is working on our mental health and anxiety, as that can create performance issues and is created by…learn to forgive yourself, and that starts with learning how to forgive others…do some meditation, as that is a known tool to help with anxiety and mental health…do a clean reboot, not just porn…but ads, IG pages, anything that is perverted in nature, as ur PMO addiction has a large part to do with that…don’t turn around to look at a girls butt when she walks by….practice talking to women more, approaching them…be present in the moment so you’re not thinking about “how will I do if we have sex” when you’re on a date and/or conversing…all these things will help your reboot..you only cheat yourself when you resist to the old way of doing things…it’s up to YOU how long the reboot will take…not it will take time, but if you don’t do the things to fully change mentally and spiritually, it will take a LONG time…
     
  11. Soartan46

    Soartan46 Fapstronaut

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    I think I'm in the path of the middle: No PMO, No MO and YES to having sex with a real partner. And YES to see girls in real life if I like, because rewiring my brain in the way of thinking: "if you want that girl, you must seduce and conquer her". I think its the natural way, the reward system has to work like that.
    I think that's how my brain will rewire itself. Just a simple thought.
     
    danielghbr, clapas and An0nym0use1234 like this.
  12. I don't know if we are ever fully "healed".
    I think there is a point where we might feel like we have reached a relatively healthy place, with good habits, good daily routines, healthy relations to other humans. But I agree that having sexual relations is not a good idea until we get to that point. Everybody is fucked up in a way. Maintaining a healthy spiritual life, which includes good rest, diet and exercise is daily work that must be maintained constantly. Even more important is mind control. Not anyone else controlling our mind but just us ourselves. The mind must be harnessed so we can use it for our benefit and for the benefit of others. One technique I've learned is to gently allow thoughts in and then gently release them. When we dwell in fantasy or imagination it takes willpower, so it's really about letting go....
    To me, "healing" is so much about letting go...things do resolve themselves eventually, if we just stay out of it
     
    Positive path, MARB and clapas like this.
  13. JEBF

    JEBF Fapstronaut

    We do heal. We do go back to normal.

    But ourselves are forever addicted. You can go 5 years without P, the moment you go and search for it again after all that time, you're again hooked. (you can see the explanation on why that occurs in the YBOP book)

    This lifestyle is about letting drugs go away forever, one day at a time.
     
  14. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Nothing that I myself came up with, but just abstention. As much as you can.
     
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  15. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    I do not know who said neuroplasticity is a myth. You need to ask him who said that.
     
  16. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    I point to those who think that the way of healing is rewiring with sex.
    What I am saying is that both PMO and sex with a partner stimulate your brain in similar ways. Hence if your brain is damaged by PMO, sex with a partner is not going to make it better.
     
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  17. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    You are right. I didn't do just 500 days. I am already nearly two years and a half free of PMO.
     
    Roady likes this.
  18. Kitos

    Kitos Fapstronaut

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    What I am saying is that both PMO and sex with a partner stimulate your brain in similar ways. Hence if your brain is damaged by PMO, sex with a partner is not going to make it better.[/QUOTE]
    I think that for some the goal is to have a healthy relationship with someone without MP, but O is a natural thing and if you are free of MP should be positive to O if it doesn't become compulsive and obsessive. I like to have real sex, however, I don't like when I mimic it with MP as I realized that it destroys far more than the relationships...getting away from it in order to have better and healthier O can be a goal for some of us.
     
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  19. Completely agree with this. In the mind it's exactly the same I think for addicts.
    That is why monk mode is the way to go for me.
     
    clapas likes this.
  20. Masteix

    Masteix Fapstronaut

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    That's pretty serious statement. Any scientific research to prove it?
     
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