The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I am sad to announce that I have fallen. Over the past few days I've felt myself slowly slipping.

In retrospect I am genuinely frightened of the power this addiction has over me. The way it manipulates my mind and completely shifts my thought process building up to a relapse. This is definitely an eye opener for my next run.

To find some brightness in the dark, I didn't use any P. However this is still a relapse.

I am ready to get back up from the ground and work myself up again with the knowledge I've gained from this relapse.

 

Day 15

Tons of urges lately. Need to take it day by day and really make sure I'm giving myself the best possible opportunities to get out of bad situations.

 

Day 308

 

Day 3 complete!

I spent almost all of yesterday and today hanging out with some of my brother seminarians in a prayerful retreat atmosphere. While it meant I didn't have time for running or any other exercise, it was a great way to start off my streak. I frequently examine my addictions and lustful habits during prayer, since I know they make me a poor follower of Jesus and by extent a poor man. What I'm coming to realize about my own history is that I have taught myself to use PMO as relief from loneliness, and a substitute for social connection and emotional fulfillment. I struggled with these things as a child; as soon as I was old enough to use PMO that became my solution, and so I never fully learned to go after those things I was missing. It's like a vicious cycle: because I didn't have enough of them, I closed myself off and made it even more difficult to get them. Now that I am attempting to grow out of my PMO use and leave it behind for good, I must find ways to make up for this deficit. Fantasizing is a big temptation in that regard.

Mary, Stella Maris, pray for us.

 

What do you mean by semen retention? Are you not having sex either?

 

Are you saying you swim outside, in winter? How cold is it?

 

Acctualy I am ususally not swiming, just standing in the water (i didn’t know how to call it). Well it’s wery cold if it’s just a short dip, then after you put you clothes on you start to feel the sensation of burning skin, you feel the heat from your body warming the skin. But if you stay in for a longer while, then you feel cold for up to a few hours.

If you where asking for the temperature, I would gues it’s 4 deg celsius.

 

Day 6 complete.

No phishing for cuties. Went for a quick dip in the icy lake. I slept less, but got some great time with my wife in exchange. Every thing is great.

 

I know I haven’t been writing a lot in the past week or so, but I just realize that I don’t have enough time to both read and write, and I’ve tried to simply improve myself instead of telling you guys how I want to improve myself.

But I’m still here and I’m a hobbit

Because of one slipup in December I won’t become an elf in 2021, but I do have just enough time to break my old record, so it is still going to be a huge win

Good luck today everybody

 

Day 9 - Uruk-Hai, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

 

It's been like 10 days or so without sex but I do have sex, non ejaculatory sex.

 

Day 10 is starting and with it, all the possibilities grow!

 

It’s open challenge so probably should be totally fine for you to join ;-)

When it comes to those side quests it is something which I am simply copy pasting and adjusting based on day results-recommending that and if you want you can duplicate it-still note that:

1)I’ve done it based on my life situation-so would be good idea to revisit and slightly adjust for you, but that’s optional I guess

2)This approach is continuously evolving based on my insights, failures and successes-i.e. next status update will additionally contain note about “Perfect streak”-so amount of days when all of quests-noPMO/side have been satisfied (hoping that and pomodoro technique will help with some l struggle the most plus enable further habit creation). It’s easier to start with only ones which you have some progress and gradually increase difficulty

Good Luck and wishing you ton of fun with that!

 

Day 2

 

599 days semen retention

 

Day 301 no PMO. Had a good day yesterday. I played golf and we walked so it ended up being over 7 miles. My feet hurt but I kinda like the feeling of it. Feels like success.

 

Day 20

Yesterday was a good day, but at the end I touched myself in a improper way. It was difficult, but I managed to stop right before it starting to become a relapse. Today I woke up with a strong built up tension.
This all is a huge red flag. I saw myself going down the rabbit hole of pmo, but I got out of it. I'm gonna keep myself aware cuz the next hours and days will be tough. It feels like the chaser effect...

 

Tread very carefully brother. Stay strong

 

8 days >> Uruk-Hai
This time I'll make it to the 90

@Redemptionisrequired Thank you friend

@Ready to Stop huge congratulations, very nice! Would you like to share some advice?

Also congratulations to @til_im_free for reaching 20 days and to @newbobido for reaching Hobbit level. I wish I was that far; I'm happy as long as I'm a Hobbit. Unfortunately I'm not.

I haven't had time for NoFap the last days, this needs to change

 

Day 10!
Yestarday was a good day, I ran like 10 km and I hang out with the girl that I'm dating. I had sex with her yestarday but in the "second strike" I had some ED problems, but she was kind about that. I told her about that I have problems with PMO and she was really comprensive about that. I have to accept that I didn't told her all the story, or how this affects me, but it's ok to be the first time touching on the topic.

It is the second time in my life that I told somebody something about this problem, so feels great!

Today is another day, so another challenge, so Keeping strongh and always thinking: Think in sex just while having sex.