How to stop sliding into watching p-subs?

Porn blockers, no facebook, no Instagram, no twitter, hardly use your laptop only use it for work maybe a bit of leisure music listening and using this forum.

A good porn blocker is Blue coat K9 . I was into psubs. As I see it its one of the final frontiers to overcome, hardcore stuff, mo, edging all gone. Next is removing psubs that are more casual but still annoying.

 

STOP PRESS: Naked girls are not porn subs! Naked girls are porn!

 

Remind yourself why you began! Reaffirm it when you feel a urge

 

All I can tell you is that it must stop. This means all artificial sexual stimulation, including fantasy. Artificial sexual stimulation is, well, everything except actual sex, and most advise avoiding even that (actual sex) that during the hard 90. You cannot put a blocker in your head, but you can plan on those thoughts happening and you can plan on a way, a distraction, to stop them. You need to make that plan. Bottom line, while we can get tools outside of ourselves to help, to assist, to make it somewhat more doable and easy, at the end of the day it is a choice. Use or don't use. If it is any consolation, on the other side of 90 it gets easier, and I found many things that triggered me during the reboot simply did not trigger me at all, or, if they did, did not really tempt me to go back. During the reboot we trigger on just about anything, so, if you are allowing those thoughts in your head you are using artificial sexual stimulation to get a dopamine high. Be aware of this. I feel you have made some progress, but the successful rebooter avoids all dopamine highs through artificial sexual stimulation. If you can do that for 90 days, I promise it gets easier.

 

You are correct. The addict cannot continue to use and be healed. To be healed he has to stop. I am sorry to say there is no middle ground, only black and white. I invite you take off your chains and be free. You can forget what Nine Inch Nails said, there is no "happiness in slavery." Rock on.

 

In the end, you just gotta stop browsing these subs, man. Gonewild, RealGirls, whatever it is, just stop going there. There's no secret tricks. You just have to be strong and the way to build this strenght is by saying "No" to porn subs, by refusing to give in to the temptation every single time.

 

Remove your willpower from the equation as much as possible. That means all the things suggested above.

It also means just marching head-on into emotional torment sometimes. It feels like being stuck at a crossroads. The path on the left is "just a little bit of p-sub" or "one erotic confessional" or whatever. The right-hand path is Hell. Grit your teeth, turn right, and march forward with determination. Because you will realise, in hindsight, after the anguish and torment has subsided, that the left path was the real Hell all along.

 

Just because something sounds simple when you state it in a sentence, does not make it so. The scumbag brain will do whatever it can to try and get its immediate reward. It rattles off every convincing excuse in the book like a deceitful, conniving used-car salesman, willing to go to any depths to get you to relapse.

"Don't look up p-subs" may sound like a simple instruction in the abstract, but its concrete implementation is much more nuanced and sophisticated. Being prepared for that and being prepared to endure the worst are key IMO.

 

@atak
One of the best advices I got in my whole life: Treat yourself as you would your best friend.
Even if you have flaws, you deserve respect and love.
No one else will respect and love you if you can´t do it yourself.

That theme aside. I also made similar promises and vows to myself and the problem with them is

that these promises are halfhearted.

We make them in the heat of the moment, we feel angry and are disappointed in ourselves, and make the promises with these emotions as foundation.
We make these promises out of desperation and bad emotions and that´s why people don´t keep them because they are halfhearted.

First thing to know is.
Stopping this addiction means, to some part, going against nature as sexuality is very powerful and ingrained in ourselves.
So stopping it is never easy.

The second thing to know and most important is - is that the pleasure from masturbating is real.

Even if Pmo is detrimental and bad for you, the orgams, is real and somewhat pleasant, that´s the simple truth.

So if you really want to keep your promise, if you really want to stop Pmo, you have to understand that you have to sacrifice the pleasure that comes from PMO you have to sacrifice the secure feeling of erotic watching online porn or p-subs.

You have to live your life without it and own that thought, simple as that.

The first few days, I can tell you were really hard, but now I can say - it´s really worth it - hang in there and good luck!

 

I read an article once that said we humans actually have almost no will power and our decisions are made by some energetic pattern which is constantly modified by the environment. A funny thing is that your thoughts/fantasies also count as environment, along with basically everything you do and interact to every day.
So my advice would be to redirect that mental energy in creating new patterns, by reading journals, making a resolution, reading succes stories.
Also meditation is quite useful if you want to lose the old thought processes. Especially mindfulness. Another importante thing is to realize which experiences makes you go back to the old pattern ( maybe it's a rejection, or being drunk, or feeling alone, etc...)

It's inspiring to read all these comments of internal struggles but you have to remember that the decision, to stop objectifying women, to live according to your religion, to not feel socially anxious or depressed, etc..., was taken a long time ago. The only things left are, the old pattern, which is recognizable at least (fsntasies, depression, anxiety, excesive web surfing), and the urges which are totally normal, natural and necessary in order to enjoy and use those amazing energy boosts we all talk about.

In my case, I'm changing my mindset by reading lots of books, nofaps reoobting, journals, succes stories, and im using the relapse app everytime I feel there might be a change in my mindset towards the old pattern. I also exercise almost everyday because it also changes your old patterns and gives you good training in stress endurance.
So basically you need to change both your internal and external environment. What you do and what you think.
I know some of these ideas are quite obvious, but it needs to be remembered that this addiction is not even physical, or has some sort of meta physical nature which we need to discuss and resolute, although it helps like hell talking about how it makes you feel and how it affects your life.

Be like water Atak, I believe in you.
Sorry for my english

 

this is a great thread, guys, some really good advice here (helpful for me certainly).

I'm not sure what I can add, Atak.

The Sacred Sexuality Project videos on YouTube have some good advice - try the barriers to relapse one with its suggestion of a "safety behaviour".

It is a hard thing to break, but you can do it! Good luck, Atak.

 

@atak Yeah. People have to understand they can´t have the nice feeling of PMO and stop PMO at the same time.
You have to choose. Either you indulge in the shortlasting pleasure and feel bad afterwards - or you abstain, feel bad for a couple of seconds and then feel proud, respect yourself and just feel great for a long time.

 

You CAN do it, it's just that right now, you're trying to convince yourself that it can't be done.

Right now, your willpower is weak. Don't feel bad, this is ok. You're like the guy that starts doing pullups, struggling to do one rep, thinking "Who am I kidding, I can't do this. There's no way in hell I'll be able to do 8 reps, even 5 reps... I'm wasting my time". But the guy next to him used to say the exact same thing, but persevered and now he's fucking ripped.

Every time you say "no" to porn, to p-subs, you are exercising your willpower. You are building your inner strength. Eventually, saying "no" will be easy and the urges will be less powerful.

 

Some really smart people here. Honestly.. This place attracts the right kinda people.

We have weak will generally. It is a muscle which must be developed and maintained; even still it can be corrupted easily. Jesus said something in the bible about not being able to have more than one master. He meant that we really aren't in total control of ourselves and that there are other forces at work int his world! Eastern spirituality says similar.

@BingeArousalAddict. Its true what you say regarding the ease of simple turning off the P blocker. However it cannot be denied that if you discipline yourself to remove those things which will tempt you then you cannot be tempted by them, isn't it so ? Jesus said, and a priest whom I know, as he quoted Jesus from the bible: When faced with temptation do not look at it or talk with it, simple run from it! That is the best wisdom ever. Don't play games with the devil, just run and you have won. Basically saying if you let even a crack of the door in evil can creep in... Do whatever it takes to cut it off!