I feel it's time to go back to fapping - please advise

I actually think this has less to do with fapping than finding yourself at a crossroads in life. Personally, I'd say if a fap every now and then (free from porn, of course) is what calms you down or gives you a good night's sleep, so what? That's absolutely nobody's business but yours.
Having said the above, I believe fapping will not train your dick to do anything except prod you along as you fantasize.
And whether you fap or not, it is entirely reasonable to be sexually attracted to someone, no matter what you feel about their character.
I think the real issue here is your character, not that of a woman you have yet to meet.
Again, I see your focus on fapping as a way of not focusing on other things - mainly, ways you can be a better man. And I suspect you are more than capable of doing that.

 

My view is that social anxiety and withdrawal symptoms will be dampened by fapping, but they will always come
back again. The only cure is lifelong nofap.

 

I would agree with @g2stop. I would, in the past, justify relapsing because it would make me feel better and less anxious.

Looking at it from an addiction standpoint, it's the same numbing behavior that brought you to Nofap in 2017.

You went through a serious relationship. Could you be finding a way to numb the pain or emptiness you feel?

 

For me it's not a matter of abandoning fapping completely, but abandoning my addiction to it and adopting a more healthy sex life and balanced life overall. This means if I am to do it, then I'll do it in a way that would make me a better lover/partner. The days of wading through gigabytes of porn and dry jacking are gone. That lifestyle doesn't reflect a healthy sex life, or what real sex with another person is actually like. So, if I ever feel I "must" do it, it's in a way that simulates the real thing as much as possible. I do the same motions as I would having sex, putting in the work, not mindlessly overstimulating myself. What I'm imagining as I do it is INCREDIBLY important. I'm thinking about that person is going through, how she feels, the intimacy of being with her. I'm not reimagining some scene and using her just to get me off. I pace myself so that she will get more pleasure out of the experience, this is not "edging", it is much more mindful, intimate and healthy, even though I'm the only one in the room. Most importantly, I'd wouldn't do this more than once a week, if that. Now compare this to spending hours a day edging. It is a much, much healthier lifestyle, and far from addiction.

Now I'm not recommending this to anyone, I'm just saying if you feel it really needs to come to that it is an option. I understand different people are at higher risk of returning to their addiction than others, this is just my take on how I sometimes maintain my "stress", which is exponentially healthier than where I was before.

Of course, I am in no way implying you SHOULD do this and should give up nofap. Stay strong and reach for excellence!

 

Don’t go back to fapping. If you feel that way it means your testosterone is high, and it should be used in other ways.

 

I still believe nofap for life is the only way to a healthy sex life. A small amount of fapping is not hugely dangerous as much as huge binges, but ask yourself why you do it?

 

Try it. This site is all about experimentation, finding what works for you. If fapping means you approach social situations with more calmness and openess then that's great. But if you find fapping draws you back towards porn use then stop. Let us know how it goes.