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Insights & Advice For People Living With Paraphilia

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Francis X., Dec 24, 2021.

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  1. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    This is total baloney.
    Stigmatization doesn't produce any fruitful results and is often gratuitous as evidenced by history. And no, just because the person in front of you has a tinge and aura of optimism, it doesn't mean they embrace zoophilia, if your emotionally-stunted psyche has read and interpreted this incorrectly, I'm sorry, you need to read his message meticulously, that person was attempting to go to therapy for their zoophilia and not embrace zoophilia.
    Stop suckling on the Strawman's bosom.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2021
    engelman likes this.
  2. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    Guys, let's just stop attacking him. We can just forgive him. Zoophilia is very shocking to many, especially given the drama that has happened in the last few months. Even though he was hateful, we can move on. I think he's learned his lesson. Many people have been conditioned to automatically hate zoophiles.
    We should also try to stay on topic. My other threads were derailed.
    How is your autogynephilia? How does it work? What do you find attractive about it? Who have you told about it? What do you think is the best use for a therapist?
     
    engelman and Roady like this.
  3. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

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    Doing research on zoophiles presents challenges for social scientists, as they constitute a vulnerable population. Extra care needs to be taken in order to make sure that the research will not result in harm coming to participants for having been involved in the research. In the case of highly stigmatized populations, researchers are unlikley to want to get into an area with many potential risks and no funding. Even today when things like people with gender dysphoria are a big topic and minor attracted people are starting to get respectful attention, zoophiles are really not on the radar as far as I know. Give how small (I presume) the population is, that is understandable.
     
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  4. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, there's not a lot of research about it because so many people are ashamed. Many people don't want to admit they're zoophiles. There's the Hani Miletski study, of course, but that's just one study, and it uses less than one hundred people. I think a lot more research needs to be done. There is more research about gender dysphoria and pedophilia, though.
    I'm getting different responses to my question. Some people say that it can change, while others say it can't. I'm just hoping it can.
     
  5. What did your therapist said why crossdressing is nothing to be ashamed of, of course if I may ask? It's OK not to answer
     
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  6. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    I have a spanking paraphilia, and am ambivalent towards traditional sex. The hard part for me is isolation. I know other fetishists, however my friends are spread across the world.

    In my particular case, my paraphilia was hardwired to the point where I was looking up the word "spanking" as a young child in the dictionary and escalates into harder BDSM with porn use, and de-escalates back into a OTK spanking fetish with abstinence. Also in my particular case, I decided it was reasonable and prudent to act on my paraphilia with affirmative consent. No matter what I did, this obsession that I've had since I was 4-5 that wasn't porn induced has never went away. As long as things are safe, sane, and consentual, I don't see a problem
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2022
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  7. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    I guess the difference with me is that I can't act on it. It's very illegal where I live. I guess that means I should just suppress it or something. There might be a window to change this. I don't know. Why would anyone have any type of paraphilia? Are some more hardwired than others? It is very confusing.
     
  8. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    I don't know, it's a strange obsession after all, and very particular. I suppose I became fascinated with it very early (I was 4-5,) which is interesting because my parents rarely spanked and when they did it was extremely minor. My father did however sometimes give my mother a single swat as a show of affection. It could be Freudian, I don't know. I would like to know why that when I spank a woman I am gleeful just to be participating, but am basically asexual otherwise.

    We're talking looking up "spanking" in the dictionary, the first word I typed into a search engine was "spanking" GI Joe liked spanking Barbie. The whole 9 yards.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2022
  9. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, it's very weird. People can develop fetishes for something that was not important or related to their life at all. Also, many people develop the same fetish, with similar characteristics.
     
  10. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    And thank God for that, life would be pretty damn lame without willing spankees in it.
     
  11. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    I have come to think of spanking as more or less my sexual orientation. I know that is impossible to outrun it, and now that I have experienced it, I wonder why the heck I waited so long.
     
  12. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    I sort of think it as my sexual orientation as well, but I don't really want to say that. I can't experience it, though, so I'll just have to suppress it.
     
  13. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    I mean, I don't want to encourage people to do things that are uncomfortable, but have you ever considered the whole furry route, or pet play/pony play? I've meet a lot of pet players and a couple of furries and it could be a considerably more healthy outlet to go down with consenting adults.

    I'm willing to bet that many people in those communities have similar feelings to you, and when you turn 18 it might help considerably to become less isolated.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2022
    Francis X. likes this.
  14. It would help if you start seeing your issue as a fetish. Just a common fetish.
    I wrote a lot in my journal about how a fetish works and how it's develooed.
    I think it can really help you.
     
    Francis X. likes this.
  15. Francis X.

    Francis X. Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, I don't think there's a good way I can entertain it. I think I am just going to be celibate for the rest of my life. Thanks, though. Also, I don't think the furry fandom accepts anyone who is a zoophile. They shun them. And, they have very different views than me on a lot of things. I also don't think I am interested in pet play. I like Roady's approach more, honestly. I don't think I'll ever be accepted in regards to my sexuality/fetish.
    I'll read about the fetish stuff. I have a question, however. How do you think I can find the problem that I'm facing?
     
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  16. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    This could also be an OCD thing. Look up Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These are heterosexual men who have intrusive thoughts about homosexuality, not that being homosexual is a negative thing at all. Then they have full blown identity crises.

    Perhaps, and I'm reaching a bit here, it could be OCD with intrusive thoughts of Zoophilia. I get intrusive thoughts sometimes, but I recognize them for what they are. Mine are mostly Christian blasphemy. They don't make me a non-Christian.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2022
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  17. You have to ask God for wisdom.
    His Word (the bible) promises that He will give wisdom freely to anybody who ask Him.
     
  18. FutureKing

    FutureKing Fapstronaut

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    Also related to hOCD, there is pOCD, but I don't want to type the word that p stands for. Suffice it to say, that is probably the most horrific reality imaginable.

    If you casually run down the list of possible obsessions, incest and beastiality are on that list, and very much like pOCD, you can't prove or disprove the obsession, so OCD sufferers go to compulsion by default.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2022
  19. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    Look man, I can see that you're going through a lot of confusion and it's brave from you to seek answers to your questions. I respect you for that. I am not an expert in fetishes or Paraphilias or whatever they're called at all. I have my own struggles. My fetish for example has no genders, even a male person could get the job done. I consumed so much porn that I even started "noticing" men on the streets. This and some childhood memories ultimately were responsive for my anxiety and hocd. You can read more about my story on my profile.

    I didn't know about zoophilia, but one thing I know is that God does not create you this way. I am a religious person and God is always there for me when I need him. But back to your story: you are a human, and humans have sex. That's nature. Some people have a shoe fetish, some have a thing for fat people like I do and some have a thing for animals or whatever the heck it is. At the end of the day you are human I am human we are all just human. What I did, which helped me and calmed down my anxiety, is that I shook hands with my old self. I'm done with it because I can't do it anymore. That's not me anymore. I don't know if I am being helpful but I could feel the pain and the confusion just by reading your posts and I felt like I had to contribute something at least. You're still very young. Think of it as a demon inside you. The more you feed it with fear, the stronger it'll get. The more you tell yourself you are a zoophile, the stronger your thoughts become and once your thoughts become stronger than your actions, you're not in control of yourself anymore of that makes sense. You are perfectly normal, there is nothing wrong with you. Loving a dog doesn't mean you're attracted to that dog. Liking a man doesn't mean you're gay and liking a woman doesn't mean you love her. Don't allow your thoughts create your own reality because at the end of the day they are just thoughts. It's a good thing you realized you have a provlem now, and not later on in life. This is your wake up call. It's time for you to experience what else life has got for you. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you, and leave thoughts as thoughts. You are not what you think, and sometimes your thoughts aren't even yours.

    I don't know man I felt like writing this. This came from my heart. If this doesn't help at all, just ignore it.

    Wish you all the best!
     
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  20. Randombro

    Randombro Fapstronaut

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    You all are not born with this shit. In most cases your fetishes and paraphilias are results from experiences during the childhood.
    Here is a interesting video about sexual imprint and it gives you a view from psychological perspective (look also other videos from here, she seems to be very knowledgeable about these topics):
     
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