The Lord of the Rings Challenge

That's my most personal post.
Side effects that happen the next day:
-feeling groggy, light-headed, feel like passing out
-can't focus, waste energy on recovery (beating myself, guilty conscience), can't keep up with my daily to-do list
-feeling dirty, clothes seem smelly,
-keeping secrets from the rest of the world leads to low self-esteem, it shows
-irritability, which often lead to rows at home
-depression, anxiety, hopelessness, feel like crying
-headaches all day

Long-term effects
-wasted time and energy, which could be used more productively
-deterioration in marriage
-deterioration in family relations
-low self-esteem, depression, anxiety -->the worst of everything
-negative impact on health: insufficient sleep, sitting too long; tiredness seen on the eyes, face, skin
-danger of humiliation from being caught in the act or anyone find out
-shutting out from the rest of the world, increased isolation, feeling lonely
-sex problems - as someone put it nicely -> Everything happens before, during or after your PMO.

 

Thx for this list! Sadly it came too late for me
I relapsed and it feels as you described now. I already had 8 days damn -.-
I will use ur list to write me my own ... I need to write down and integrate this things...
Much regards to you, that you shared such personal thing!
Damn I rly need to reflect on what made me relapse today...

 

Good list for motivation, and you need another one for inspiration to to be complete. What are your goals that inspire you to take on this challenge? What do you expect to become when you made it to 500 days pmo free?
For in the end going cold turkey always fails. Willpower has to be applied in the right way( like a key and not as a ram) and behind all succesful achievements there were strong, powerful 'whys' that kept inspiring them through thick and thin.

 

Start with your emotional state and any stress you had that you have chosen to deal with it this way ,for it is usually a deep ingrained habit to deal with it. Decide now on the new-healthy way to respond to the same emotional stress situation( like boredom, loneliness, anger, guilt etc.) and write it down there too. Like for example if you feel lonely speak to friend(s) or relatives, go out to see neighbors, just to socialize in a good way. And if you are bored then find something you want to do that excites you(in a healthy way-use your imagination) and give it 5 minutes to try doing it even if you are tired or doing something that makes you feel bored.

 

500 days - I can't even imagine it. My best steak ever is 13. I hope to beat it this year.
As for my goasl on nofap: I want to be a better man who's not afraid and is not swayed by everyday challenges. I want to be in charge of my life and not be the prisoner of fear/low self-esteem for the rest of my life. I want to be a role model for my kids. A success story - not another PMO story. I don't want to waste my time and energy - on PMO and PMO recovery. I want to be calm and steady as a rock.

 

Yesterday I felt strong all day. I thought I was invincible. Cured of PMO. No urges. Finally, I left my computer at 11PM and an insidious thought popped: "How about ...?" -I realized immediately what was going on. I stopped the thought in midair. Thought control is the best tool. I said NO.

 

Start with affirmations that will carry you through, like:
I follow through on my decisions and complete what I have started.
I am a good role model for my children, and I am living healthy life full of love and self-respect.
I use my energies-resources only for good, beneficial ends for myself and for those around me.
I always feel calm and steady as a rock by always doing the right thing in good time and staying true to my beliefs.
Make them your daily meditation for 5 minutes or more. Speak them out loud with conviction whilst trying to feel the reality of them. I'm sure it will be a game changer for you !

 

Thanks sensei @Slider8

 

Day 317 no PMO. Had an awesome day yesterday. Went for a 40 min jog alone and then another 10 min with my daughter. Loved getting to spend time with her. We jogged to town and she got an ice cream cone and then we walked back home. My family is so special to me and they deserve me to stop PMO.

 

Nazgûl - Day 0 (in couple hours day 1)

So I relapsed twice in span of two last days (full PMO relapse) but on bright side I am not giving up nor removing account etc-but picking myself up.
I’ve solidly analyzed and removed/blocked stuff which can be linked to my relapses (youtube and ability to web search on my second phone, previously only lightly secured), targeting now to beat my last best streak of 49days and finally become Dwarf!

 

Don't give up. Dust yourself off and keep going.

 

Thanks for support, certainly needed that!

 

Day 19

 

Check in day 100
Next target 200

 

Checking in day 13

Good wednesday to you all !

 

I have never been so proud to be an Orc. Let's keep this journey moving.
Main goal - 1 day of 500

0-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-12-14-15-18-20-22-25-28-30-35-40-45-49-50-53-56-60-63-66-70-75-83-90-97-104-111-118-120-125-132-139-146-150-157-164-170-177-184-190-197-204-210-217-225-232-239-246-250-257-264-274-281-288-295-300-307-315-322-330-337-344-350-357-364-371-375-382-389-396-400-407-414-421-428-435-442-450-457-464-471-478-485-492-495-499-500

 

Love to see your progress guys!

@crazyhorse11 and @Slider8 thank you for your always encouraging words!

May we get free from devil's claws together!

Days 152 & 153

 

Hell this day ..it was horrible. I feel the devil is right behind my back.
Funny thing is: The relapse happened just because I installed 4 Browser filters to be sure it will be rly hard to view any site - but then my mind tricked me by thinking "You need to try out if the programms work well and optimize if needed haha" [well that bs worked quite well -lol] I relapsed another time at 13 pm (so tomorrow will only count as day 1 after its done ) Negative Emotions and Thoughts came as if the relapse created Sauron who called me. Not only I felt weak but also anxious and down - feeling of loneliness wasnt that huge the last 7 days.. and after I thought and wrote the whole day about what I wanna change/what made me relapse/what Ive learned from that - Im too tired to list it all now. I was on a struggle the whole day. Did some meditation to adress all the feelings. My worst problem seems to be the failure in general. Thats why it is that hard for me to relapse (its hard for evryone I know). But it feels like all my brain links for all my "previous failures" arose and suddenly punch me hard on top of the failure "relapse". Thoughts of relationships I fucked up (even if I know it wasnt only my fault) and the overall feelin' that I failed in life (even if that is not true). It felt like all I reached so far was bullshit.
Then I started to cry after I realized what my mind was doing to me. Damn its important that I fix that.
I remembered all my achievements and what I already did well in life. I rly wanna become that guy who always is there for himself and his own best friend.
For the next possible relapse I need some hell of a preparation plan. I dont want to fall that deep anymore. I dont know why - but it never was that huge before. Maybe its because I rly rly wanted to quit and still want it and now I know so much more.

Whatever guys Im so glad that I have this opportunity - that Im not alone with this bullshit and anyhow strong enough to write about this so honestly.

If you feel urges ... just remember me and how good I felt before the relapse...
And how bad I feel today after it.
Stay strong!