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Wedding Jitters

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by SkyDoge, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

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    I have been feeling more tempted to look at PMO as my wedding day gets closer and closer.

    I would love to hear some wisdom from married couples about the benefits of being loyal and PMO free, and how good it is to be married and how this is just stress and my addiction talking, and I really won't miss the PMO and casual sex that I had before I met my fiance.
     
  2. First, congratulations SkyDoge!

    Second, being married is awesome. There are intimate need you can fulfill in a marriage or in a relationship that you can't fulfill with solo masturbation sex. Cuddling and nonsexual contact releases oxytocin, the pair binding hormone, and is more important for sexual and emotional health than orgasming. Others can talk to you about the benefits of being PMO free and in a relationship, since I unfortunately was not able to experience that myself. @Haggis @Blondewife @jbastoniv I can tell you that even with PMO having someone around and being on such a completely intimate basis with them is one of the most relaxing things in the world.

    Third, you decide whether you miss PMO or not. The only way not to miss PMO is to reboot and you have an awesome opportunity to go into your marriage completely clean. Don';t waste that opportunity. Don't make your beautiful wife have to deal with your filthy addiction.
     
    Handzfree likes this.
  3. Handzfree

    Handzfree Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Congrats Sky Doge!! Awesome news.

    Freaking out? I would be. Definitely stressful. What a great time to stand your ground and grow. When you feel like PMOing, check out what thought preceded it. Something about the wedding no doubt. Will it get done on time? Money? Keeping everyone happy? It's all part of the big day. Attack whatever is causing the stress... Flowers on time??? Call and make it happen? Budget? Run a spreadsheet.

    IMHO, the best gift you can give your future wife is yourself, completely whole. Ditch the PMO... Save up the extra tension for your honeymoon my friend. It will make it that much more special knowing you gave it your all. No need to brag either... it's what you will do for the one you love.

    Your fiancee is stressed too. She needs you to be a there for her!

    Marriage a very special promise to your mate to love her no matter what. That can include great days where you feel so connected you can't imagine living without her. It can also include challenges to grow when your mate calls you out on an issue you should deal with. There are moments of great news.. "I just got a promotion" and not so great "the oncology tests came back and it's not good." Bottom line, you life now is part of another and personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.

    I would encourage you... stay pure, manage the stress for the short time, stand by your future bride, laugh a bit and have a great wedding.

    Cheers HF
     
    HippyMinstrel and SkyDoge like this.
  4. Blondewife

    Blondewife Fapstronaut

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    Comgratualations! This is fantastic news. I wish my husband would have been PMO free before our wedding and definitely after. The closeness we now feel is indescribable. I echo what others have been saying. Your future wife deserves all of you and you know what- you deserve this too. I know the stress of planning a wedding can add up really quickly but there is no better wedding gift that you can give your wife than being honest and saving yourself for her. Don't give into temptation! This is as much for you as it is for her. Congratulations again and good luck!!
     
    Handzfree, SkyDoge and HippyMinstrel like this.
  5. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

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    Thank you everyone. The wedding is tomorrow.

    I was able to say no to porn so far. I understand that my marriage vows tomorrow will say I will be loyal to only her for life. And I understand that includes not looking at porn.

    I still have urges occasionally, but I forgive myself for having them. After 17 years of addiction, this new way of life isn't going to happen instantly.

    I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for my fiance. I didn't have any strong desire to quit myself. My recovery began out of a desire to stop lying to her and hurting her feelings. Sometimes it feels unfair that I can't enjoy PMO anymore because like any drug, it was such a high for me. But I know it isn't good for me. And I'll be damned if I will let anyone hurt my woman. Not even myself.
     
    Jennica and Gamerwife85 like this.
  6. Handzfree

    Handzfree Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Best wishes to you and your wife! I assure you if you can get through this without PMO, you can probably withstand just about anything. Have fun, eat cake, open gifts and enjoy your special time with your bride.... Cheers! HF
     
  7. Toby Swede

    Toby Swede Fapstronaut

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    Congrats! I wish you the best in your marriage and life together.

    I would encourage you to absolutely get an accountability partner (NOT your fiance/wife) if you don't have one already. You need someone who you can be honest and transparent with about your struggles and concerns (PMO or otherwise). Don't get trapped into the weight of having to show everyone that you are the perfect husband/couple without any challenges. Marriage is great but you need someone who you can talk to and go to for advice and encouragement. Don't wait until you think it is necessary! Overkill is better than regrets in the future!

    Best to you and your bride!
     
    SkyDoge likes this.
  8. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Any updates?
     

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