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I feel hopeless (Not hopeless anymore, i success)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Kligor, Aug 30, 2021.

  1. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    And it really feels to me like I did the right thing. I used to think I was homosexualm, wel in case I was I would feel like denying my true identity but by leaving my old self in the past I feel like I'm allowing my true self to come to life. Some things are better when left behind. I don't know to what extend it this applies for sexual behaviors but I have no other option left. I also turned to God. I don't think God created me this way and if I was able to develop this fetish then I also must be able to have normal sex.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  2. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I m glad to hear that mate, every time i meet people like you (on nofap forum of course) you raise my motivation to be even higher. Good luck and make yourself proud.
     
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  3. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    Your messages also motivate me bro. But I don't want to watch porn in order to develop a thing for vanilla. I see why you did that though and I fully respect it. You see we are human and humans have sex. It's natural law. I don't want to spend any more time on any porn site. It's non existing for me anymore. It's nothing but a devilish game that's destroying us from the inside and out. And why I developed this non porn induced fetish? I really don't know. But it's not natural nor healthy and I refuse to spend any more time thinking about it. It's like I became numb. Did nothing to me than hurt me.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  4. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I was depressed, feeling down, i even isolated myself from people close to me, i lost my self esteem because of my fetish's because it's toxic and not normal, i really started losing my mind last few months(At the time when it was all over my head it's when i started this thread September/August) That was sign for me it's time to leave all of this and forget this like it have never happened.
    In instant i have known if i continue to live though my fantasy i will become mentally unstable and even suicidal very soon. Because depression and self esteem have already taken tool on me.

    After about 120+ days of trying my best here i m now. I m not thinking about suicide, i m not even depressed anymore, i m not feeling down and i don't bring myself down. Even my self esteem is showing now.
    I m just a mortal, if i can do this then you can do it too, don't give up and believe!
     
    fumaruu likes this.
  5. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    Good for you bro. Think of it as a demon. No matter how you developed this fetish or no matter how old you were when you first saw it, doesn't matter what or when or how. I just think of it as a demon in my mind that wants to take full control over my life. Fear just feeds it and ultimately anxiety is what this demon needs in order to grow. I read from a book that I and myself both are 2 different people inside one body. Idk I might be talking BS but for me it makes total sense. I am so relieved man I wasn't this relaxed in weeks.

    Thanks bro! I believe that it's possible. And I believe that I will make it.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  6. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    For me this is demon, can't be controlled easy, and can lose control easy and makes you do things that hurt you and deep down we don't want to do this to be honest but we have urge to do it. I agree anxiety just makes this much worse, i still have it from time to time but much less than before.
     
    fumaruu likes this.
  7. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    Give it some time and your anxiety will disappear. Eventually start dating. Do not look at women as if they were objects. Emotional bond is just as important if not more than sexual attraction.

    Once anxiety kicks in, I know it isn't me. It's that demon that's inside me. There's a reason why we were born, and worrying about our fetish is not one of the reasons. We were born to accomplish greatness. That's why I from now on refuse to spend anymore time thinking about my past. I can be whatever I want and so can you, and obviously you accomplished more than I did so far so keep up the good work!!!
     
  8. fumaruu

    fumaruu Fapstronaut

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    What I also realized. To be honest, I needed this shock, I needed this anxiety and all those negative feelings once I realized my fetish was getting too far, this is exactly when all those thoughts of whether or not I'm attracted to the same Sex, whether or not I will be able to love a normal happy life. I needed this. I felt what it's like to be disgusted by my own past and I don't look back anymore. It's like the my mind is trying to say "stop! You're getting too far!". Thank God I am going through this now and not later on in life. This has been my biggest wake up call. It's time to change bro. A happy and fulfilling life is ahead of us!
     
  9. @Kligor , so you were able to do this? I also struggle with this and got hit with a wake up call the other day that I really have to figure this out. I haven’t tried Nofap for a long period either, but am debating between that or falling to vanilla porn for a while, then only mo with fantasy vanilla. I’m hoping to find a girl one day who is up for some of these kinks, but right now I want to learn like vanilla more. I’ve liked hjs, bjs, and some positions, but plain vanilla doesn’t turn me on a ton. Please let me know what you did and how you are now
     
  10. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    On one hand i did it, on another hand i still didn't.

    TRIGGER WARNING

    I have erection for vanilla porn and fantasy, i m able to get erection if i see beautiful girl with nice ass(in real life of course).
    The thing i work on now is to make vanilla my natural reactions. Because i still would like femdom porn and femdom fantasy more, i need to switch those two. I still doesn't have any big desire to be in relationship. After a week of nofap hardmode i think i would be ready to have good sex.

    One more thing, my self self esteem is getting better since i disconnected myself from all sort of femdom and fetish things.
     
  11. @Kligor are your erections strong for vanilla stuff? Like you think you could have sex and it aroused you? I have this same problem I’m debating going nofap hard mode for a while and then entering a relationship, or I could fap to vanilla stuff for a while and then go nofap. Let me know what you think
     
  12. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    In comparison to fetish it's not so great, but in general my erection for vanilla is solid.
    I never trying to get erection with using my hands, so no touching allowed. Sometimes i can get erection within one minute, sometimes for 2 minutes but sometimes after 5 minutes but WITHOUT touching. If i use touch i will get erections everytime in under a minute i try to train my brain to do it by itself.
    About erections after catching it i m around 80-100% most of time.

    One thing i have figured out for myself, i feel arousal for vanilla but i need time to feel it. Sounds weird but sometimes i will watch picture of pretty girl for 10 minutes and feel arousal or gain erection but sometimes i will feel it almost in instant, i don't know. I guess i m still adapting.
     
  13. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    My opinion is you can do at least a week of nofap hardmode to wash away fetish trash, then fap to vanilla for some time and then again nofap and stick to nofap. That's how i see it, just my suggestion you can do how you wish.
     
  14. Yeah, I think I’m going to do this basically. Wish me luck
     
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  15. Thisworld

    Thisworld Fapstronaut

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    Guys, It's important that we keep updating each others and documenting our results.
    Kligor you are doing really great! I'm surprised on how fast and well it worked for you
     
    Kligor likes this.
  16. To be honest, when I was 17 I did it where I watched vanilla p only and it did expand my sexual preferences, like I still get more turned on by it than I used to. I’m hoping doing that again plus nofap or no p would be enough. Also, I’ve heard that entering a relationship with a girl you trust and have an emotional attachment to, and then having sex, is maybe the most effective way to do this. Your body picks that up as the strongest signal. So that’s another thing to think about. Anyways, hope we can all pull through, and be strong. I’m ok with having the fetish but just don’t want to watch p anymore or fantasize crazy stuff about it, just want to mess around with real girls. We got this
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2022
  17. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Thank you mate, it has worked for PMO vanila and fantasy and works for real life situation, but i still didn't success to have need for sex insetad of fetish thing, for now.

    I agree documenting our result is super idea.

    How are you? How your fight going mate?
     
  18. Thistime93

    Thistime93 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, I'm new to nofap and saw this thread. I've only been into femdom my entire life and I'm looking for others that share this fetish to communicate with. I really want out and be able to be aroused without femdom. Is there any forum for this?
     
  19. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Hello and welcome to forum. I think this is ideal forum for that topic.
     
  20. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Today and yesterday i have done PMO to vanilla, i have start to feel horny while watching. That happened in last two days. I just have surprised myself.

    My average time for vanilla PMO is around 15-25 minutes, without touching and forcing just waiting to get up all alone, no touching allowed for me to get erection.
    I don't doubt i could finish PMO vanilla session in under 5 minutes if i hurry or force myself, but i want to take time easy, watch and enjoy(don't get me wrong, porn is not good, you now what i mean).
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2022

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