The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 7 today.

Felt a bit low at the start of the day, but probably just typical Sunday blues. Keeping busy definitely seems to be key for me at the moment. Onwards and upwards…

 

Rather to see for yourself. It's like being stabbed by morgul blade and normaly it's only a matter of time for the poison to incubade, spread and take control in about up to 2 weeks max and become the nazgul unless by some miracle you manage to get some elvish medicine and come back to light. Fasting is a good one in the elvish arsenal if you can accept it...

 

Day 3. So far feeling much better about things. Did a little thinking as to why my brain shuts down when I see a trigger. Understanding how this works for me specifically has really allowed me to be confident that my true 'self' is opposed to giving in to the trigger and that I will not be fooled. The 'me' before the trigger and the 'me' after the trigger is who I see myself as, not the 'me' during the trigger. When that trigger hits I notice that something feels off and that it is probably due to the logical part of my brain being partially shut down, in order for the reward network to achieve it's fallacious goal. I notice that this evolutionary error is occuring. That this aspect of my brain is no longer fit for purpose in a modern day society, and I need to not follow the pull. I then feel the pull subside because I know the 'old' part of my brain is simply trying to shut down the 'newer' logical part of my brain. The newer part being the part I try to rely on for such logical decisions. I therefore see myself more in this newer part of my brain and tell the other part to suck it. Made sense to me even if it is all hocus pocus and I have it wrong, and that is what counts !

 

Checking in. A bit tired, but doing ok.
Day 62.

 

Checking in for day 11
Today has been starting very well. I heard a good Sunday sermon in my church about storms and how to deal with them. I then went back home and cooked a good and healthy meal for myself. I then called my fiance and all started to get bad. We had a big argue and a discussion that broke my heart. I need to take to digest the news he shared with me. I hope God helps us to find the same vision again. I distracted myself with singing some songs. Found some new songs like in the arms on the Angel's from Sarah McLaughlin bit also some well known songs like Hurt from Christina Aguilera. It helped my heart to stay focused and not doing the wrong shit to distrac me from my problems. Tomorrow will be another day and I am sure God can help me and my fiance to find the right direction.

So guys I am sorry today my post was way too deep for this kind of forum. But I am glad I can share some of today's struggle. Like always I am enjoying reading through your posts. Today I could engage in some discussions and it feels good to be part of this group.

I wish you all wherever you stay at good luck and a lot of strength to stay focused with no PMO. It's good to read about exercising and being creative or enjoying time with families.

Greetings
J

 

Checking in day 56.

Sister God is omnipresent and you can speak to Him directly with what's on your heart and mind, listen as you speak and the attend to silence for God speaks there with tender quiet voice. God is Love and if you feel love in your heart you are in the presence of God, it's important to speak your heart and mind honestly and openly with the ones you love and keep true to that beautiful feeling, staying in it and acting out of it . This way your problems will melt away....and don't limit your love for one person, love the whole world around you for that is the only reason to have loved ones in our lives -to learn to love and to stay in it no matter what .
p.s. And don't forget to love yourself too for you are the part of the oneness of life.

 

Hey guys...

I cant sleep... not the urges are my problem. But it seems since I begun the inner journey and reduced brain fog (which caused by constantly PMO) some Emotions and thoughts of my last break-ups arise and begin to grow. I dont know why cuz I did much to forget/move on etc. -it was 2 years ago.
But still some moments in my mind constantly showin up and I cant forget her. I thought about calling/ writing her... I still love her so much how can this be true? What the hell is wrong with me?
It hurts me again and again - And dont say I should simply move on.
I already know that. Ive watched somany videos and read books about this topic...But Im so lost.
It does not change and it seems that this is another reason why I'd pmo even more since then; To simply escape..
(but you guessed it? That did not work at all - as we can see now).

I know you guys may have no answer but I think it helps to write it out of my heart finally. Its a real burden..

 

For me you dont need to be sorry - I also shared quite personal informations...
Im also rly glad and grateful that I can be a part of this group... Im glad that there finally is a place where I can talk about my addiction like this. I do think we all have some sort of problems. And we all was used to use PMO as some kind of a solution to this problems - so writing about the inner parts and emotions and our triggers IS very GOOD and rly IMPORTANT. We dont overlay problems anymore we adress them and thats the first step to any solution..I guess
so Keep it up J!

And stay strong..!

 

Day 329

 

Day 27 done!

No phishing, no looking at girls profiles on social media.

I feel like attraction to my wife also increases my attraction to other girls. How can I hug my wife without wanting to have sex with her, or just have physical closeness without sexuality? I find her to be very hot. Maybe I should try to talk to her as well?

 

I relapsed two days ago and forgot to start my streak again. I feel that change is right around the corner, and I'm excited to start again. Day 0 starts now!

 

Day 4. @IveWastedMyTime. Deep inside you seem to be fixed to the past. You need to let go. Focus on the now and think about your new goals. BTW If you think deep inside that you need to something, do it and face with new courage you have from nofap. Or start a new chapter. You must make the call by yourself.
Stay strong, bro!

 

Of course, you should.

 

Day 7 - Uruk-Hai, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr

Starting to feel more energized and optimistic

 

Day 1! Happy to be an Orc now.

Being a Nazgûl sucks. It really does feel like you are in another realm.

 

Jeah I need to listen to my heart! Thx for your words bro this means much to me !

Checkin in Day 4 btw

 

Day 10