The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 9
(No sexual Thoughts/Fantasy/ Voluntary Self Arousal/ Viewing any Triggering content)

 

Sincere thanks
That quote is going up on my wall now too

 

Checking in day 18! Moving out today

 

Day 322 no PMO. No problems yesterday. Ready for a good day today.

 

Day 158.

Today might be a great day again. I'll have a "second date" with this great girl I met like 2 weeks ago. Last time I didn't try to do anything "romantic" like kissing her. Today I'll be with my eyes open, looking for the opportunity to do it.

I know God might call her or myself to a religious life. But I want to try anyway. I hope it's God's will, if not, I believe he will manifest it.

 

Check in day 105
Thanks a lot guys for your supports it's mean too much to me...
And those who said it's seed and growing up..yeah it's and I'm struggling with it so I'm on fasting right now and it's going down "seeds" step by step...so I'm OK now and I hope going back to the way soon...
THANKS AGAIN GUYS

 

Welcome back!

 

Yesterday I went to sleep at 10.30 without much problem. No strong urges. I woke up with the thought that it would be a long day at work. However, I was quite calm, a bit emotionless. I drove my daughter to school and drove to work myself. During the short drive, I realized that my mood was going down. There were some work-related thoughts and emotions. I guess similarly to PMO addiction that can trigger trains of thought and emotions, my work brings back some thought and emotion patterns. Some of them distant, but still painful and unpleasant. They just pop in and stay for some time until they vanish. However, my emotional state gets ruined.
I tried staying mindful several times but its effect is short-lived. I was hoping that nofap will help deal with this mood swings. I know that my streak becomes some kind of foundation or life-belt to grab. But the feeling of despair remains. Sleep often helps.
This is the most dangerous mood. In the past it usually led to PMO. That's the vicious circle of addiction. The cure for foul mood is also the poison. I could do some exercise. Yet, I'm out of energy. Sweets are just a quick fix.
What are your ways to lift your spirits? I wonder how those on long nofap streak handle such situations. Some like @ListenPaul on a monk mode. I guess a nap or gaming help me break out from this mood. Maybe when you are tired after work, the mood can overwhelm you more easily.

 

Day 8! becoming an Uruk Hai!
Still on quarentine, tryiing to focus on my work and keep taking medicine. Missing working out and the cold showers. Keeping strogh!

 

Take a break- relax- meditate do sth that is really good for yourself. Write down some sentences that will support you and your system and say them with honesty to yourself. BE your brother, brother - thats what Im tryin' to do the last days. Im not a "long-streaker" yet - however - it helps me

 

Hi brother
What I've wasted my time said is true be your own brother or your own friend. A pastor in Germany his name is Johannes Hartle brought me to thinking in one of his sermons about being your own friend.

He asked us to think about how we treat our friends and what kinde of advice we would give when someone made a failure. We go and say, "things like this happens as long as you stand up and have the will to change". We are gracious and motivate them, or even tell them what good attribute they have.

So with this in mind, think about how you treat yourself when you failed. "Again, again, again, I will never manage to get better." Or you might say, "Because I have done something wrong today I have to finish more tasks or I am not allowed to eat sweets." You punish yourself.

Is this helpful. Would you help a friend by doing that. No it would make things worse and you know that. But yourself you can treat how you want.

But it matters to you as well. If you work against yourself you will feel bad. But if you are gracious with yourself you start to become friend with yourself and you start to trust yourself, you start to love yourself.

It's a circle. How you treat yourself will have an impact on what you are capable of doing. Kids who have parents who are patient with them, act diffrent as kids with severe parents.

Become yourself a friend.

Greetings
J

Never forget it's not forbidden to fall down, it's forbitten to stay played down.

 

music, gaming, exercise, reading - plan for today - but still going strong Nothing can turn me back.

 

I guess this mood can be contagious but I still an eye on the ball... and feeling better. Gonna read "Reluctant Swordsman" for a change. The beginnig seems promising. I'll catch up on you later. Gonna check out if sensei @Slider8 is still on his streak

 

Checking in. Today i'm down, very down. I was studying and went to exercise my calculus, i simply could not work the question out, that's it, questions i've done before i could not solve. My brain burns like it is on fire, i feel stupid and dumb. What makes it worse is, studying is my job, if i don't perform i feel useless, if i feel useless i get all those insecurities back.

In the past it was always because of this why i relapsed, find a new subject, study it, find a question i couldn't solve, find others 20+ questions i couldn't solve, think i'm dumb, try other subject, do not understand the other subject, start to question myself, start to doubt myself, start to find ways to make the pain go away. What does make the pain go away? videogames, PMO, alcohol...

I'm pissed, i'm angry and i'm sad.

Before i never wrote this in words, today i did. Hope this time will be different.
Let's see what tomorrow will be like.

 

Day 13: Teens!

Hobbiton is within view! Getting a lot of urges and I've been falling around this point a lot lately, but I'm gonna make it.

My men's group started its webinars today, so that should keep me busy for the next couple weeks. Going to do some push-ups later!