The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 323 no PMO

 

Check in day 106

 

Day 9!
Urges are harder since yestarday and beeing in quarentine doesn't help, but triying to mantain me focus on my work and in my studies. Yesterday I wrote my goals for this year, and one of it is to leave PMO!, We can do it my brothers, we can keep strongh and be our best versions!.

 

Day negative 4.

In the past four days I’ve watched porn more and more and today was a full-on binge that I only now get myself out of the house and hopefully put a stop to it.

Today is my first day without a job after I’ve just quit in order to find a new and better job. So I woke up and end up by myself with a huge amount of work that I “had” to do. And I felt overwhelmed and just PMO once… and then twice. And then I was lost and I don’t even know how many times it had happened.

So I’m sad, and feel kind of pathetic. I know that I can break this addiction, but I just feel that I’ve lost my way. I’m not sure if I should try to post twice a day here of try to not post at all for a time. I’m not even sure where to start with stopping this train wreck. Last year I was able to have a 3 to 1 ratio of clean days to PMO days. We are started the year and I have a 1 to 1 ratio and I’m afraid.

I still go to the gym three times a week and sleep at least 7 hours a day. I eat quit well and in general I don’t feel so bad (except right now…). My relationship with my wife is still ok and this week failure didn’t break us or anything. So what should I do?

 

Day 1 boys

 

Day 11
(No sexual Thoughts/Fantasy/ Voluntary Self Arousal/ Viewing any Triggering content)

 

Yesterday was awful and led to a relapse. However, today was OK. It wasn't great but I'm feeling new energy to continue with the challenge. Even it means being stuck at some point, I'm gonna keep trying and working on my determination. This year will be probably the best in my struggle. I will have most nofap days but they won't be in one long streak. Maybe the big streak will come later on.

 

As for mood fixes: exercise, green tea with honey and Everybody Loves Raymond

 

You nailed the list @ListenPaul . I copied it but I don't know how to use it prevent a relapse. I'll try to think about each question and find a good countermeasure.

 

Good thinking ! All these nudge us to say yes to pmo by giving us false-reasons, excuses to get to our decaying past, for although it slowly killing us(it depends on the intensity though) and wastes tonnes of our time , and destroying our self-respect but it feels familiar and comfortable which makes us to perceive it as somewhat safe although not working at all but tried and tested solution to our every stress, emptiness and despair out there.For me personally the scariest effect of indulgence in lust is diminished ability to concentrate, to remember, to comprehend situations and speech and connect the dots in complicated matters. Lust is the real destroyer of our lives ,make no mistake in thinking otherwise. What's the solution to get our lives back ? The most effective and safe is the clear understanding what's what and where we gonna end up if it continues to control and destroy us, taking on board good habits to assist us and trodding our road to freedom from it in the supportive company of people valuing freedom from life destroying addictions-sins and living pmo free day after day all the way until the connections in our brains get renewed and we no longer see any goodness in lust.
The other less healthy and effective way would be to get psychotherapist help including talk,advice and some psychoactive drugs(which might have side effects as most of the drugs do). And the least effective way is to walk our path alone without any support. Which we all done for years or even decades without any good results and which is the last resort only for the absence of the better ways.

 

Day 19
I haven't been feeling strong urges, but I can see that my mind is trying to lead me to PMO with some lies, just like @ListenPaul mentioned. Because of lacking discipline, yesterday I unnecessarily orded a burguer, even having healthy food to eat at home; and today, after lunch, I binge-watched youtube for 1 and a half hour. Even though these are not PMO, when I do those things I'm loosing progress, since I didn't hold myself in front of pleasure. It's a matter of time until I give in to PMO, so I'll watch out for the next days:

• minimal phone usage
• gray scale on screens
• eating ONLY to feed my needs
• getting pleasure only from healthy things, such as exercising, friendship, reading and playing the guitar.

 

Gonna reduce food intake too and increase exercise because I put on a few pounds.

 

25 days – You spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area.

Feeling good and on track