[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 7

 

Day 39!

 

14/90

 

I was at a woman's house today for a job and was having lustful thoughts toward her and feeling sexually turned on . Feeling it just a little but 10 days ago I would have had more explicit thoughts and less of a sexual feeling. Though I need to be careful with my thinking I see this as a good sign that I'm becoming turned on, if only a little, without porn. I'll be more careful in the future with my thinking. One day at a time.

 

Day 13

 

I relapsed im starting again from 0 /90

 

Day 22

 

Day 11. Finaly a two-digit number.
Have Corona now. That I,m so often I'll in the last months fucks me realy up. It,s realy a hard mental challange, because I often do intensiv sports usually, but now I can't.

 

Day 22/90. Almost went off my grid. Saw porn and was going to throw it all away. Had to stop and get off it asap. This is a struggle.

 

Day 11

 

Trying to learn and apply all the teachings from atomic habits by making good habits irresistible and all bad habits seem repellent.

 

61/90

 

Day 8

 

Day 13
After trying Nofap for so many times, i have understood my patterns properly. What are times when i am vulnerable, there are very particular days where i'll have urges, so i fight harder on those days.

So you just have to observe yourself... If u released then observe every single thing that went through your mind,the whole day.
Stay strong, stay motivated

 

Day 14,

I feel sad, i will let go of my emotions by writing them.

I meet my colleagues today, we had lunch together, i did good, i talked, laughed and socialized, i experienced anixiety, which is normal.
The thing i don't like about myself, is how i become disconnected from myself, my brain becomes blank. I emitate others when it comes to choices. My friends wanted to leave early, so i went with them, because i needed to be with someone, then after that i realised that i actualy wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so i talk with a girl im intersting in.
Anyway, after that i discovered that she have a boy friend, i felt sad. She was nice to me, we talked a bit, it looked like she was flirting with me, but i was wrong.

Now, im going back home, feeling lonely. Looks like all the girls i like are already engaged.

What bothers me is how i loose my personality around people, it is like my brain stops working.

I know it is wrong to compare myself to others. But i compared myself to that guy and i said to myself that im not good enough to have a GF, i cant be in a relationship now. It is sad, but true. I think the same way when i watch porn.

I have to be better at everything.
One step at a time.
I need to concentrate on my work.

... I feel better.
Stay strong all.

 

In 5 1/2 hours I'll be staring day 11. After indulging In lustful thoughts for that woman yesterday I'm being hit with urges to masturbate either to mental images of her or to porn. The thoughts were only "mildly" lustful but it's enough to be tempting me over a day later. I intend to keep a tighter leash on my thoughts. I've attempted this challenge countless times in the last 4 or 5 years. This time I want to succeed. P.s. I love the goggins videos. Thanks. P.p.s. I'm going to rite now take a cold shower. Ooorah

 

Day 0
Starting over due to a terrible relapse.

 

Ve done that many times. That's all you can do is to dust off and start again. Just don't give up.

 

After a 3 minute cold shower and an hour of walking my urges are completely gone, at least for now. I'm convinced that positive action is the key. Stopping an addiction leaves a big hole that needs to be filled or it's back to acting out.