1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

I'm having trouble breaking away from being effeminate

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by RadiantFalcon382, Jan 12, 2022.

  1. RadiantFalcon382

    RadiantFalcon382 Fapstronaut

    257
    370
    63
    I seem to have difficulty breaking away from being a more quiet, not as masculine guy despite knowing that it's not what I'm meant to be. I keep wanting to change, but a handful of my friends say that they don't want me to change and that they like the type of persona I have now. I keep telling myself to be more manly but when I'm not thinking about it and I get excited about something around one of my female friends, I tend to act childishly excited rather than cool and chill. I know that it makes other people look down on me outside of my friend group. I'm gonna keep trying to get better at it, but its really difficult.
     
  2. Maybe you are just innocent and you have kept the child alive inside you. It might be possible that you are not effeminate.... you are just ecstatic and innocent.

    Not everyone is cool and chill.
     
    WesternWolf and Whispers like this.
  3. SethLCU

    SethLCU Fapstronaut

    275
    490
    63
    No point living your life trying to impress people you don't care about or just being like a couple of friends want you to be be either; this is cliché at this point but go to a gym and take up a martial arts class, once you build up some muscle and know you can take down most ppl bare handed you won't care that some ppl look down on you and there will be always be some who will.
     
  4. Focus on what you want, really focus on it, grow it like a baby, father yourself into reality.
     
  5. NothingMoreNothingLess

    NothingMoreNothingLess Fapstronaut

    226
    824
    93


    This song will multiply your testosterone level tenfold I believe. Motivates me to do better and go out to do things.
     
    Resilience 16 likes this.
  6. Who says you are meant to be something else? Other people? You decide who you want to be, no one else. You don't need to act like a stereotype "manly man" to be a man. We are all different. It would be very tiresome having to put on an act all the time and behave like someone you are not. Just relax and be yourself. You will attract the right people into your life then, people who accept you for you and not some fake front.

    Also, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the energy when hanging around with female friends, they can even help you get with other girls when you have finally put porn behind you.
     
  7. Totally agree. Your masculinity is not depends on anything else but your on perception, and no one can tell you that you are not a man and be right. Masculinity has many faces. Overthinking about it will only make it worse.

     
    soldier407, Reborn66, BrSweat and 2 others like this.
  8. King in the making

    King in the making Fapstronaut

    8
    30
    3
  9. Is it someone you want to be? Do you feel like yourself when you act "childish"? If you feel natural at who you are right now, f*** your friends and go find new ones. I've burnt bridges that I don't regret burning. Stay clear of people who put you down or ones where you feel like you're putting on a mask for.
     
  10. soldier407

    soldier407 Fapstronaut

    I think I might be like you. There is real beauty to being less dominant. If you don’t have enemies and are considerate to everybody, that is not a negative quality. Even if you remained in this ‚child-like’ state for many more years, there will be good in you.
    Of course, as a man, you have to manage your strength and urges before they overwhelm you and you should be able to hang out with other men. However, awakening the inner beast is not the difficult part. Letting go of comfort and fantasies is NOT the difficult part. Cold showers, work out, martial arts will easily bring about your masculine destructive powers.
    The difficult part is to not become too dominant. Be very careful. Trust me, I‘ve went on that journey. Sooner than you think, things take a big turn and you don’t recognize your old self anymore. There are so many things in life that a man can accidentally break when he becomes too dominant.
     
  11. soldier407

    soldier407 Fapstronaut

    Also, people are dicks for looking down on agreeable guys. Thats just the truth. These guys often have done some bad things to other people in the past and can’t accept the fact that a man can also be polite and quiet.
    Just go on your own journey and do your thing, but be careful.
     
  12. ImFuture

    ImFuture Fapstronaut

    76
    288
    53
    If you want to be more manly, do what mens do.

    - Avoid sugar, sugar makes you effeminate, no need to explain there are tons of studies about this.
    - Lift heavy weights... of course, start from the bottom, meaning, start light, don't over-push yourself or you will get hurt.
    - Sun, take sun.
    - And latest, yet not less important, avoid fapping. I like to think about semen like the reason Im a man, so I store it as a precious diamond. Of course Im not crazy about it, if I have sex with my girlfriend Im releasing it. But Im not releasing it on dumb shit like masturbation anymore.
     
    thomasedison likes this.
  13. Bro. I think you are perfectly fine the way you are. More power to you for wanting to change but i really dont see whats wrong with being effiminant. Makes you a more relateble person in my opinion.
     
  14. Being quiet isn't necessarily unmasculine. In fact a 'man of few words' can have an aura of mystery.
    First you should have a clear image of what masculine is what does it mean to you? Can you think of some examples?
    Generally the saying is a man is something you become - by your actions, not by wishing.
    • take up a martial art.
    • study a philosophy like Stocisim
    • work on your self-esteem.
    • list what you are scared of and face them (start small) -and by fear I don 't mean healthy fear like fear of needlessly dangerous things -I am scared to run across a highway with heavy traffic - that's a healthy fear! - but for example fear of traveling to a country you want to visit.,
    • read biographies of men you admire- take notes on what you admire and how you can emulate that in your life - treat them as guides. Imagine what they would tell you to do.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2022
  15. Smith Sharp

    Smith Sharp Fapstronaut

    110
    254
    63
    What is your idea of what a masculine guy is and also can you describe what being cool and chill means to you. Also where did you get those ideas from?

    Maybe you can learn to be some of the things you want to be and also keep some of the parts of you that are awesome.
     

Share This Page