The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Check in day 109

 

Check in day 110

 

Day 13!
strongh urges yesterday, but I manage them keeping me busy. That is something that now I know that helps me.

 

@crazyhorse11 thanks for the tip about blue Monday, that saved me last night. Currently working out

 

My addict brain keeps pushing me to quickly type in the web address of it's fave p site. Like my addicted brain is trying to override my pre-frontal cortex. Parts of the brain competing for dominance. Maybe this is a sign I am at a turning point. I am going to steel my resolve and give no quarter to the enemy.

 

Relapsed

Woke up weak, I know I was heading into a difficult situation, having the house all to myself. And I did nothing about it and then I replaced and binged for something like two hours. And then I’ve cried.

I did get up afterwards and did the things that are good for me (and that I’ve planned to do instead of failing). but it’s not a big win to wash my face in cold water and read about the reboot after I watch porn. But at least I did something at all.

Maybe tomorrow I could understand and write a little more about what had happened. But right now I just want to roll into a small ball and cry.

 

Men! I wish to share an achievement with you!
Today i completed 67 hours of study this month! I'm very glad that this happened to me, and here i'm to thank God and wish for more hours of hardwork!

May you as well, on this journey, excel yourself every day! After all, we do not compete against others, we compete against us!

Strenght & Honor!

 

I understand you, i myself have been where your at right now. All you need is patience, and i'm sure you know: success is not a straight line!

 

Day 15

I'm a Hobbit! Very happy with the progress I've made considering the urges I've faced over the past few days - had a couple of beers with my friends to celebrate this milestone, and won't have another drink until I'm safely in Rivendell!

I really want 2022 to be the year I finally quit, it's been difficult and I'm sure there are darker days yet to come, but I can feel myself changing into the man God is moulding me into; I have to fight this battle with everything I have, knowing that God has something greater in store for us all than PMO could ever offer, so let's continue the journey!

 

Day 7!
The last day of being an orc. Finally. On the road to victory.

 

Day 10

Feeling some urges but staying strong. Hanging with my family helps.

Today was a weird day due to a series of events that started last night thanks to a blizzard. Everything's fine, but kind of messed up my plans for the day. Life happens.

I meditated today and am still saying the rosary over the course of the day. No cold shower (yet?) or workout because of weird (though kind of fun) day.

Peace.

 

Day 335

 

Interesting, I have never noticed such an effect. I have noticed increased hornynes, that’s it.

 

Day 33 complete!

Not a lot to report, another busy weekend with friends and family

 

Day 163 (in 164)

Last Monday I had a date with this girl I like, but it looks like she doesn't want to be with anyone in a relationship. So I guess it wasn't really a date? Just friends getting together. Went really well tho! We had a good time as always, even tho I tried to kiss her lol.

Also really hot week in my country (up to 43°C). Yesterday rain finally arrived to cool things up. Looks like temperature will descend 20°C in two days.

 

Day 16

 

Day 7 soon to be an uruk hai

 

Had a wet dream tonight(3am) and dream happened in the place where it all started many years ago. If I had done this in reality it would had been a relapse. Probably it has something to do with a glass of wine I had in the evening thinking that it would help me to fight the cold but it ended up messing with my head instead, while I slept.
There were actually 3 dreams but only the first was wet, the latter two were dry not really sure why. There was a woman involved in the second but I have a hard time to recollect any meaningful details of it, whilst the first two were of edging and MOing. All these made me feel some urges in the morning and somewhat annoyed that these things are still somewhere in mind/memory waiting for control to be loosened to enslave and abuse the mind and body.

 

Day 328 no PMO. Big argument with my wife yesterday so the day wasn’t great for me. She thinks I’m grumpy all the time witch is kinda true. I need to work on ways to be happy for/around my family. I love them so much but it doesn’t show in my daily actions.