How to detect evil or incompatible women early

Evil? That's a really strong word. Unless she is possessed by malicious supernatural forces or murders puppies and kittens for fun it's hard to call someone evil.

Toxic women though? (assuming that's what you meant)
That's a lot easier to figure out than trying to find holy water to exorcise someone with. These are just part of my personal checklist for both toxic and incompatible but there could be more:

1. Do you feel comfortable or uncomfortable being yourself around her? Like first days obviously you're not going to be comfortable around each other because you're still strangers and trying to see whether you're a good match. Plus if the girl is really pretty or your type you'll have a bit of pressure to make things work and your mind will be overloaded by her prettiness so you'll be acting weird for a while. But that's not what i'm talking about. Do you feel comfortable talking about your interests, hobbies, dreams, and can you act like your everyday self around her? There are some girls who will laugh at the things you like or your personality, or they will act in such a way that whenever you're around them you feel...small. Like you need to be a different person 100% of the time for you to even get along with her and to be in the relationship. That sort of pretending gets tiring after a while and when the true person comes out (frustrated as well) the relationship can become really toxic and bad for a while.

2. Does she respect you? I feel like all the other points will be related to one because i rely on my instincts or gut feeling when it comes to people so if i'm uncomfortable it's already a big red flag for me. But this one in particular is important because respect is about as important as love in a relationship. A girl won't cheat on you if she respects you - she'll dump you first then do what she wants to do (lol). Seriously though, in a long term relationship even if the love has gotten weak but the respect is there the relationship can still be stable until the love is rekindled or if it's impossible to revive it - the breakup will be clean and less messy.

3. Does she respect herself? Does she have solid boundaries? Someone who's got stable boundaries and respects herself is less likely to be crazy and/or do stupid things. Also that person is more likely to tell you when a serious problem in the relationship needs to be fixed instead of being passive aggressive.

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As for the divorce thing. All you can do is do the best you can and find a person with really good qualities and hope for the best. Because although it takes 2 people to get married, it takes one person to file a divorce. So even if one person is extremely faithful and is trying their best the other person can just decide to cheat or decide to be abusive or doesn't feel like continuing the relationship e.t.c

A somewhat related example that happened recently: One of my good friends had a period after university where he had a job that wasn't paying so well and had to work till midnight some days. Yet he would always make time for his girlfriend, take her out to eat with the little money that he had and buy her small gifts here and there. Always practiced safe sex with her and never cheated - even though he's pretty attractive and good with people and a lot of girls really liked him (and some even shot their shot and he rejected).
Guess what: The girlfriend had been cheating on him and having unprotected sex with several guys for more than a year!
The crazy part was that one of the dudes she was cheating on him with didn't even have a job or was better looking than my friend. She just came from a dysfunctional family where stuff like that was the norm.

Oh yeah, that reminds me to add a point #4:

4. Someone's family and friends are usually a good indication of what that person is like. If her family is really dysfunctional and her friends aren't what you'd expect from someone you'd want to date/marry - she's probably the same. You can't choose your family i know, but even if someone seems or tries to be different from their family - there's usually some subconscious traits they picked up. Like in some families shouting and fighting is how they solve their problems but others prefer to schedule a family meeting where they sit down and do a trial or others just have to obey whatever the father/mother says.
As for friends: you can't choose family but you can choose friends. If all her friends like getting drunk and going to parties, even if she doesn't seem like it she probably does in some way otherwise how did she manage to be friends with people who are all like that?

Long essay i know but that's my own criteria. Some are slightly negotiable i.e if half her friends are party animals and some aren't it's not a major red flag anymore but most items on this list are from personal experience and a lot from other people's experiences.

 

I think you first do this by getting rid of the evil, darkness, and incompatibility issues within yourself, which are often most poisonous to potential partners and cause their reactions to oneself or which are most often simple projections (reaction formations) of our own baggage unto them as if coming to us from them - when it's likely oneself that may be the real problem. After one is purged from one's own addictions, darkness, and incompatibility issues, then one will see more clearly from a mile away even which women are not for oneself and for one's higher and purer calling as a mature, non-codependent adult. And, if this is not the path you're seeking for yourself, you're only asking for nonsense, games, and dark tribulations, as you yourself may be shoveling out the same sh*+.

Best wishes.

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It's not a good time for a man to be a victim right now. Doesn't matter what race you belong to, it's a bad bad time. It's getting worse.

So the only way we can survive and thrive is to learn to protect oneself at all costs. Self respect and self confidence should be your guide. It appears that you might have been in an abusive relationship, and has escaped alive. Consider yourself extremely lucky. Evil comes in all size, shape, colour and sexes. So keep your guard up at all times. The moment you sense something's off, run in the opp direction.

To evaluate if the relationship is nourishing me or destroying me, I ask questions like these.
Since I have been in a relationship,
- has my relationship with my friends improved or gone sour?
- has my relationship with my family improved or gone sour?
- has my job satisfaction or career improved or gone sour?
- overall, do I feel more happy and satisfied when compared to my life before this relationship.
If you answer no to any of these questions, time to self evaluate. Remember, in an abusive relationship, the abuser appears to be an angel for some people. So don't go asking others if your partner is nice. Ask yourself, and evaluate your own life with questions like above.

Good luck. Hope you find a partner who will complement your life. And always remind yourself, it's ok to be single. And don't listen to friends and relatives who put pressure on you to find a partner. Learn to enjoy your single life, and become content with it. Life is too short. So don't waste it trying to find "the one".