I need advice asap

It's a common experience, so try not to get yourself down. It's good to know you have a moral barometer that's helping to keep you in check. Keep posting and connecting with people. Strike up convo with those posting about similar experiences. It helps to chat.

In the meantime, welcome to Nofap and best of luck!

 

The counter is personal to you and your goals. Only you know if you crossed the line and needed a reset. The counter is just a number. Try not to get too hung up on it. The way I see it is you made the decision to change 14 days ago or how ever long it has been. The important thing is to stick to that decision and stay in the fight. There will be bumps in the road.

 

I would consider that a victory. The temptation was great and they resisted. That takes mental strength.

You shouldn't think of the cure as something perfect. Today I decide to live porn free and then it will be like that for the rest of my life.

The healing has ups and downs. One will stumble. The important thing is to get up again.

 

Before your recent relapse, instantly closing the webpages doesn't really mean a relapse - as long as you don't actively engage with porn I think you can say you are still on your current streak. If you read 'Your Brain on Porn' I'm pretty sure there is a section where doing this behaviour can actually reinforce your willpower to quit porn. However, it doesn't work for me. In fact, engaging in this behaviour just makes it worse for me. I'll end up edging closer and closer to actually looking at something until the temptation is so intense that I'll end up looking, even for a second or two. Once I've looked I'll just make an excuse of: 'oh fuck it, I'll only be on it for about 2 minutes.' Before you know it I've spend 4hrs gorging on porn.

 

I don't personally find peeking at instagram a relapse although that is a personal decision for you to make. The day counter is personal to you and your goals. I don't think looking at instagram is helping your cause. There are some places as a recovering/recovered addict we just can't go any more. Those are places you will have to identify. For me, I had to completely give up tv. It was hard at first but t is great now. Instead, I watch videos and seminars by Bob Proctor and Paul Martinelli. I really love this and I learn things that I missed out on while I was growing up.

 

You needlessly and somewhat wrecklessly put yourself through a harrowing experience, which came with its own torture and punishment. But, you did not relapse or need to reset perhaps. Of course, your goals are obscure to readers here "Meeting my goals," what are those??? So, there's no way for me or other readers to know what your recovery goals and criteria were.

 

I didn't realize how bad instagram was. I got the app to follow two specific people and last night while seeing who all has followed me, I discovered P. That app has got to go for me.

 

Being in bed, phone, boredom and instagram is the perfect recipe for a relapse. I bought a conventional alarm clock so my mobile phone doesn't enter in my room, it has worked well for me.

 

I “like” this because you’re demonstrating the learning experience. I’m celebrating failure, because in real life, success in anything of value is preceded by a lot of failure. You’re sticking with it, though, and that means you have not lost.

First thing, sickness is a devastating trigger. It’s been a component in the loss of every major streak I’ve had, and it sucks because there’s not much you can do to control it. It does not automatically mean a reset. I’ve gotten through sickness with streak intact. It does mean you have to be extra vigilant, though, and expect that period to be miserable. Forewarned is forearmed.

Second, as you demonstrate in a couple different reports in this thread, visual triggers immediately followed by shutting it down might seem like you’re in the clear, but the next several hours, even days, will be tough and it will probably lead to reset. It’s very important to not be too hard on yourself. Reset is demoralizing and is typically another trigger. We think, a reset for something as simple and light as an Instagram pic, I mean come on. It’s not even that bad. And I’m in control of my reboot, I make the rules, I say that doesn’t constitute reset. But then it often does lead to full reset as the brain responds to that dopamine push. Or, if you do decide that pic is a reset, your addiction says “that was such a small thing but you’re giving yourself full punishment, like it was a binge. Might as well enjoy the full experience since you’ve reset anyway.” Negative feelings are another trigger and you can shame yourself into reset. You can also enable yourself into reset. It’s a very thin line we have to walk.

Some guys have to set a sensitive criteria for reset. For me, if I search for something I wouldn’t normally search for in hopes of finding a provocative image, it’s reset. Or it should be. Within the previous month I was more forgiving about that and guess what? Constant full reset. I have to move through life actively avoiding anything sexual while pretending, for me at least, it doesn’t exist, but I am such a better person for these strict parameters that it’s worth it.

Best of luck to you as you experiment and find your own parameters. Also remember to replace that dopamine you are missing from P with something, ideally multiple something’s, more positive.