Porn induced dacryphilia and the deformation of love

Have you ever heard of the term “dacryphilia”? Probably not, it’s another of countless fetishes existing in our society; but there are a kind of fetishes that are the most special, because they have an anti-natural component, i. e. coprophilia which is the pleasure experienced while manipulating feces, anti-natural because feces are suposed to be waste material, and so do our olfactory receptors say.

Have you ever felt arousal at the sight or sound of somebody crying? Or something more aggressive, have you ever felt the most excited at the thought of making somebody cry during sex due to your dominating behavior? If so, then you might be a dacryphilic, and to understand why this an anti-natural fetish we need to understand some chemistry related to the process of crying:

Crying is basically a turn off for men, when you see somebody cry you feel empathy or tenderness, not sexual arousal, you think about comforting that person, not getting it on with them, but why does this happen? It was discovered that tears product of an emotional shock carry a chemosignal which conforms a chemical communication channel between men and women that regulates men hormones: it contains prolactin which is positively correlated with nurturing behaviors and it produces a drop in testosterone levels which implies a drop in aggressive behaviors and sexual arousal. This makes sense because when you are in a vulnerable state, it would be extremely useful to have a mechanism to lower aggression levels from others, furthermore, a mechanism that encourages others to help you.

Now, there are basically two types of dacryphilic: the sadistic one, who enjoys making their partner cry through physical and emotional discomfort, and the passive one, who, well, doesn’t. Somebody may be a dacryphilic because of hormonal deviations, but that’s not of my interest to discuss. Let’s talk about emotional attachment and degradation in porn.

As I said, tears are literally a cry for help(xD), and a normal response would be to simply comfort the other person and help them get over it, but what happens if the comfort is given through sex? I think that would be product of an emotional attachment disfunction, because you are unable to feel not sex driven intimacy, love and interest for another human being; it may be caused because you are so lonely that feeling needed, or getting to be intimate with an other is such a novelty for you that the only way you find process those feelings is through sexual arousal. Also I think it’s obvious why porn can contribute to this notions, since in mainstream porn, every problem has its root and resolution in emotionless sex.

Why porn can contribute to sadistic dacryphilia is also straightforward, we know the narrative of porn is based on women objectification and submission, you are supposed to get turned on by the idea of using women as fuck dolls suited to your personal desire, and the best way to depict women as objects of your property is to abuse them, so much abuse that sometimes the very reason for having sex is just in order to harm or humiliate your partner to the point of bringing them to tears, and that is supposed to be sexy, sexualized violence. Finally, since pornography is virtual, it’s a human experience lacking human contact, so it could be an important factor that there is no chance to “smell” the tears, which is what produces the hormonal regulations; so maybe the paraphilia would disappear if it were ever to be put to the test.

If we ever knew what love was about, porn has made us forget it, it’s deformed our relationship with the other gender so that it’s merely instinctive, and I think there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your sexuality, because in principle any sexual practice can be performed in a loving manner, but that’s not how porn programs our brains, and that’s what’s destroying love, in my opinion the driving force of live, as cheesy as it sounds.

How about you? Do you think porn can really induce this specific paraphilia? Can you relate to any of this behaviors? Do you think there are consequences in having consensual dacryphilic sexual practices?

P.S. This took me a while so if you made it here, thank you and keep fighting warrior.

Bibliography
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/womens-tears-chemical-turnoff-men/story?id=12540975
https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...omen-cry-obviously-its-so-they-dont-get-laid/
https://www.healthline.com/health/dacryphilia

 

Greetings my friend, I guess any range of phenomenon could provoke some trouble in emotional connection with others, I don’t have a lot of contact with women so I can’t really relate, but when I see girls crying in movies or something, I definitely fantasize about having sex with them. Working on that.

One thing I found funny about these articles I read, is that none of them tried to do a moral judgement, but were rather limited to explaining the “what” and the “why”, as if because of hypersexualization critics weren’t allowed anymore and any sexual practice should be acceptable; they even memtioned being turned on by making other human being feel helpless and didn’t even comment on it, just said “Consent is key”. But what if there’s few people willing to consent or not at all? I don’t think this particular kind of fetish is healthy, or safe for that matter.

Finally, I guess one should try to think how you would feel if an other were to dominate you like that, when I’ve done that, I’m able to go beyond the sexual desire and the tears, and the violence, far from being a turn on becomes empathy, when I watched porn it was kinda cyclical though, because that empathy made me wanna hug them, but then that was back to square 1 and when I thought about comforting them, I’d like to comfort them through sex, so I could fuck them, but I would fuck them better, gentler. It’s much more useful to resolve your attachment issues with a psychologist I think(working on that as well).