Is reading erotic sex stories and masturbating a relapse?

These are questions you have to answer for yourself mostly. Depending on the severity of your addiction you will get a range of answers from people here; some saying any form of artificial stimulation is a relapse. Technically NoFAP currently has a distinction between a relapse and a reset. A reset is a temporary less severe “stumble” that doesn’t involve binges. Relapses are full falls back into previous habits and addiction.

Most would say that refraining from all artificial sexual stimulation is a must for 90 days for a proper reboot. Sex with a real partner is not in this category.

 

For me, I have to go "monk mode", but that doesn't mean you have to...every situation is different

 

No, no, and no.

A relapse is when you intentionally view porn.

 

Very much depends on what your goals are. If your goal is only to avoid porn then they are not relapses. However if your goal is to avoid porn, masturbation and orgasm, as in a clean hard-mode reboot, then continuing to do any one of those things would be considered a relapse.

 

This is a relapse.