How to talk to girls normally

I was a social disaster during almost all my high school. The things changed during the last part of high school. I'm not the best here to teach about friendship, but I'll tell what I learned struggling by myself.

I've never had any girlfriend, but I could make more female friends naturally than I would like to have haha. If you meant talk to them like daily conversation such as give your opinion about an assignment, lend something, etc, just take out of your mind the idea that they are girls. Simple like that.

However, if you meant become a friend of a girl, I don't feel that you trully want just be friend of a girl because I told myself this lie before, but if this is really the case, try to get used to this by approaching girls that you woundn't consider in any case to date with or have any relation but friendship. It will be easy to overcome the shyness if you don't have expectation futher than talk to her in the present moment. After break the ice, try to know more about her background. Ask about her childhood, motivations, families, etc, but avoid sensive topics to her and topics that her intertionally avoid and never try to appear more inteligent than you are or pretend to be a psychologist (bad memories lol). Show a real interest about them is, in my experience, one of the best ways to get her friendship.

If you want more than a friendship, I won't be able to help you, but other guys here perhaps will. In this case, rewrite your question and create a new thread.

One more thing: Forget this idea of be a "nice guy". It's kinda cliche, but be yourself, and if you are not happy with who you are, improve yourself. Improve your soft and hard skills, learn about stuff that really interest you, practice a hobby or whatever. Turn yourself interest naturally. For social interactions, avoid excessive judgement.

Note that what I said is based just on my personal experience and perhaps won't work in your specific situation, but I hope you can take something positive from this.

 

Talk to girls accept being imperfect. That’s natural. Just Take action. Show your interest, Even if you’re needy, accept it and keep going.

 

Stop inflating their gender in your mind and instead talk to them as you would any person, with respect and care. I struggle with that one myself, but I find talking to people as people first rather than as treating life like this dating game, I am much more relaxed.

 

Yep! You can always just sit down and break the ice with something mutual like an assignment or comment on the academic school schedule. Or just be honest and say you’re trying to meet new people, you don’t socialize much but “you (the girl)” seem cool so wanted to say hey. Write your number down and give it to her it never happens anymore and you don’t have to be awkward when you just do it no strings attached don’t ask for hers. Even if she doesn’t use it. If y’all become cool you will eventually do a number exchange on the phones. After first interaction just say hi. Unless she breaks the ice and shows you social gestures first. But what I mean is ultimately stagger your attention with her in the beginning so you don’t come off too strong but as to say you do genuinely want to get to know her.

 

Play it cool and approach her in a way that you’d want to be approached if it were the other way around. I think everyone no matter what wants to be acknowledged, wants to be friendly, and are usually open to small talk with another person. Girls are shy too and they appreciate when people who genuinely want to be friends make the first move. Even popular ones to be honest.

 

It's a good idea to boost your confidence in different ways. Weightlifting is a clear example of this, because you become able to lift more, get a stronger body, etc, and this helps you with your confidence. Of course doing nofap helps a lot, because you are more relaxed and with more energy. Potentiate real things that increase this confidence. With "real" I mean to avoid using alcohol for example.

On the other hand, I find that to talk with girls is a matter of practice, and that can be achieved trying enough approaches. At the beginning your approaches will probably suck, but the more you try the better you become at it.

 

exactly

 

I agree. It's easier than we think, everyone likes a casual chat, unless they are in a rush or something. The problem with our individualistic society is that this aspect is quite limited, but it's very human to want to talk to others.

 

You and me both... talking is hard.

 

It’s not permanent, you can change that

 

Your intention is good. All you need to change is to stop getting girlfriend as your main focus (if you do), then start talking to them normally, literally (like you do with the boys). It's not easy for the first time, but do it. I can make sure the second time isn't that hard anymore.

Cheers!

 

This is so true. Focus more in the aspect of enjoying the interaction and conversation with a girl, have some fun, etc.

 

I know I can. I just freeze up whenever I try and I make a fool of myself. Even when I rehearse what I'm going to say, I still stumble over all of my words.

 

That would be a big mistake, if you have friendship with them talk to them about your situation, they will understand and try to help you. Doing this will allow you to re-connect with them. For sure it's better said than done, but when you are in this state some positive action is needed.